


Stuck in the Middle with You

by downtoclownaaround



Category: Arthur Fleck - Fandom, Batman (Movies - Nolan), DCU, DCU (Comics), Joaquin Phoenix - Fandom, Joker (2019)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:00:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 78,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28049649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downtoclownaaround/pseuds/downtoclownaaround
Summary: Bored and sick of her life of riches, lavish parties, piano and dance lessons, studies, and every other obligation she held as a member of the prestigious Wayne family, Alexandria Wayne feels like a puppet, disassociated from her own life. Seeking meaning and excitement in her routine and highly structured life, she finds herself intrigued and determined to make things right when she witnesses the mistreatment of a man desperate to deliver a letter to her Uncle Thomas Wayne. Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined that she would find herself stuck in the middle between him and her wealthy family.
Relationships: Arthur Fleck & Original Female Character(s), Arthur Fleck/Alex Day, Arthur Fleck/Alex Wayne, Arthur Fleck/Alexandria Wayne, Arthur Fleck/Original Character(s), Arthur Fleck/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 104
Kudos: 37





	1. The Letter

The first time I saw him, I could have just as easily looked right past him. Nothing much stood out, the tones of his clothing perfectly camouflaged him amongst the crowd that morning in the busy lobby. He was one of the many in the crowd hurrying past in all the usual morning chaos. But it was those eyes. I remember thinking, ‘What beautiful eyes that man has.’

It was early morning, much too early to be at Wayne Enterprises, dressed in all Chanel, listening to renovation plans for the upcoming year. I was to lead a team of Business Marketing Specialist who would market and ensure company growth in the coming years. I would soon be done with my degree and expected to make good use of it here. I strongly disliked business and whatever came with it, however, my father, Zachary Wayne, Thomas Wayne’s younger brother and business partner, was one of Gotham's top business specialists. I had always been expected to follow in his footsteps as his one and only daughter. One day I would be one of the big faces of the company, along with my cousin Bruce Wayne.

So here I was. At this boring presentation/meeting.

“Here, beginning October of 2021, we will begin remodeling this entire floor, this is where we will hold our main marketing headquarters.” The architect explained. His assistant quickly flipped to the current poster for us to see.

I studied it briefly, “Is this the relaxation space we added?” I asked, pointing at it, “My father agreed that this would benefit the entire floor, I feel that it needs to be bigger to accommodate a fountain of some kind.”

“Of course, we will bring those sketches by your office, Miss Wayne.”

As the architect continued, something going on behind him distracted me from what he was saying. I nodded but was no longer listening to him. It was that same man with the pretty eyes, talking to a very agitated receptionist. I couldn’t clearly hear what he was saying, but he was waving a letter at her and by the way he held his hands, and his facial expression, I knew he was pleading for her to do something.

“Miss Wayne?” The architect asked.

“Yes?” I hadn’t realized I had missed his entire explanation.

“Are you in agreement?”

“I will need to see the plans, if that’s okay. I just want to think them over a bit before deciding,” I replied.

“Of course, I will make sure you have them later today,” the architect replied.

“Thank you, I appreciate it Mr. White,” I smiled. Then as he continued with his presentation, I watched as the man with the pretty eyes was taken by security. He fought and dragged his feet, still holding his letter. I didn’t realize that as he was dragged to the elevator, I had hurried to the glass rail and waited for the first floor elevator doors to open. I watched as he was dragged out, basically being lifted off of his feet, and carried through one of the large revolving doors. Outside, I could hardly see what transpired, but when a lady who was obstructing the view moved out of the way just in time, I watched as he was thrown horribly to the ground.

I hadn’t been the only one watching. The others in the meeting I was in and many people in the lobby watched as this man was thrown out like garbage.

“What is going on?” I asked in confusion, forgetting about the meeting and storming over to the receptionist, “Excuse me, what is happening with that man?” I demanded.

“It's nothing to worry about Miss Wayne, the situation was hand—” I cut her off.

“Handled? What did he do to be thrown out like that? Is that what we want to show our employees and business partners?” I asked, “What did he do? What did he want?”

“He had a letter that he wanted to give to your Uncle Thomas… I asked him to leave it here and he refused, then refused to leave and—”

I cut her off again, “I was right here! Why didn’t you come and get me? What if it was important?” I snapped.

“Miss Wayne… with all respect… he was probably a homeless man here to ask for money, we get those often and—”

I have no idea why she was pissing me off, “What was his name?” I snapped again, not caring about her explanation.

“Arthur Flick… Fleck… something like that…” she was nervous, probably worried she would lose her job.

“Next time that happens, unless the person is an actual threat, kindly have them escorted out, or even if it has to be by force, there is absolutely no reason to throw someone out like that. Understood? I will speak to my father about this.” I snapped.

“Miss Wayne?” The architect called after me as I walked off.

“I’ll review the plans privately,” I replied, pushing the button on the private elevator, when it opened, I stepped in and pushed the button down to the first floor without another word.

***  
“It was awful Uncle Tom, he was thrown out like… like a trash bag!” I was fuming again, reliving the moment as I told them about the incident over dinner that night. 

My uncle and his wife Martha, as well as Bruce, frequently came over for dinner. It was more common than not to have dinner together. My grandparents were also at dinner that night and didn't care one bit about the man who was mistreated.

“We cannot let things like this happen, what will our clients and business partners think? Our employees? Someone could have recorded this and it could very well end up on twitter or Instagram… with Wayne Enterprises written all over it. This can’t continue to happen.”

I wasn’t exactly looking out for the company, to be honest. But I wasn’t sure why I had let this affect me so much. Something about that man and his letter really stuck with me.

“Alex,” Thomas laughed, “That receptionist was probably right, he was probably some homeless man asking for money. I'm sure she made the right call. You don't know what he could have said to her.”

“But what if he wasn’t?” I asked, frustrated, “this poor man, Arthur Flick or Fleck or whatever, he didn’t deserve that, even if he was a homeless man.” I sighed. I watched as the atmosphere completely and instantly changed around me. Uncle Tom’s face went white, Aunt Martha’s eyes widened, my parents were silent. “What?” I asked in confusion.

“Sweetheart, just let it be,” Grandma replied.

“Arthur Flick?” Bruce asked, noticing the change too. He looked up from his phone and around the table. Our eyes met and we both frowned.

As instantly as the change in atmosphere happened, it was gone. “Alex, I’ll look into the matter, alright? It won’t happen again. Now, let’s enjoy dinner, you know it's important to leave work at work,” Uncle Tom smiled and continued to eat, “Bruce, how was the game today?” he changed the subject.

“It was an easy win,” Bruce responded, “Too easy. Boring actually.”

It was right then and there that I knew I had to find Arthur Flick… or Fleck, or whatever his name was.

I had to find him.


	2. Finding Arthur Fleck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex realizes that there is much more to the man with pretty eyes than she originally thought.

Turns out that finding Arthur Fleck/Flick wasn’t exactly a piece of cake. I began by searching the white pages and when several came up, I jotted down the information to those within the most likely age range.

I had my first possible lead about this man, his name was Arthur Fleck. The 18 Arthur Flicks that came up where much too old to be the man that I saw that day. I called them anyways, just for safe measure. I truly hope none of them were him, because 5 of them had disconnected lines.

I paused, taking a deep breath and mumbling a few pleases to myself before picking up the phone in my office once again. I dialed the first number listed for Arthur Fleck and waited as it rang.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Arthur Fleck?” I asked.

“Yes, who is this?” He asked back.

“I am calling from Wayne Enterprises regarding an incident that occurred between you and security—” He cut me off.

“I think you have the wrong number, I’ve never been to Wayne Enterprises.”

“Oh… okay, my apologies Sir, have a nice day,” I quickly hung the phone up. I swiveled in my chair to face the city skyline and closed my eyes, feeling the warm sunlight on my face for a few minutes. Why was I so nervous? My hands were shaking…

“Okay Alex, just do it, come on, just do it!” I motivated myself because if I don’t, no one else will.

I dialed the second number and my heart raced as it rang. Please let it be one of these 7 numbers!

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Arthur Fleck?” I asked.

“Yes.”

I already liked this man's voice.

“Hello Arthur, I am calling from Wayne Enterprises regarding an incident that occurred between you and security yesterday morning…” I twisted the diamond ring on my finger nervously.

Right. I guess I have to mention that I am promised to someone, but this person literally makes my stomach churn and that’s a whole situation that I don’t know how to get out of. He’s the son of one my father’s business partners. He currently works at Wayne Enterprises as a director of some kind. I truly don’t even care enough about him to know what he does. He’s pretentious, self-centered, abusive, poor excuse for a man. Oh, but no one else but me seems to see that. Like I said, that’s a whole other story…

A long pause, but before I could say ‘hello’ again he spoke, “Yes…”

My heart raced, “I would like to speak to you in person, may I come by your home later today? Can I confirm your address?”

“I won’t be home…” He replied.

So he must work, I gathered, “I can come by after work…” I offered.

Another pause, “…What is this about?”

“I would like to personally discuss the incident with you, it’s nothing to be worried about. I witnessed what happened and would just like to discuss it with you… personally apologize on behalf of Wayne Enterprises…” I tapped the heels of my Louis Vuittons nervously as I waited for him to respond.

“Okay… I’ll be home after 7…”

“At 2250 Anderson Avenue?”

“Yes.”

“I will see you then Mr. Fleck, have a nice day.” I hung the phone up and took a deep, shaky breath.

I had found Arthur Fleck!

***

“I will be visiting Ashley today after piano lessons, you are dismissed for the day,” I spoke to my body guards as I collected my things to leave the office.

“Miss Alex, Sir Wayne prefers we--” I stopped him.

“You are dismissed for the day,” I repeated, “go home early, take your families out for dinner, do something fun. I’ll see you in the morning." I gave them a reassuring wink before heading out. I was leaving much too early, but I was very anxious and didn’t want to be late. I would be skipping piano lessons tonight, I had already called my instructor and told her I wasn’t feeling well.

I practically rushed to the elevator and through the parking garage, not even allowing time for the valet to get my car for me. I tossed my work bag into the back of my Benz and quickly prompted my GPS to direct me to Arthur Fleck’s address. As I drove through the busy city, I thought about how crazy I was for doing this. Why was I even bothering with this matter? What would I say to him? It was then that I decided to stop and buy a gift basket, an apology gift for Arthur.

Arthur lived in one of the more unsafe parts of the city, the ones where you don’t want to be walking around after dark by yourself. Yet here I was, sitting in my car waiting for this man to show up.

It was about 20 minutes after 7 and I was beginning to get nervous when I suddenly saw him in my rearview mirror. I quickly sat up excitedly, my heart racing instantly. He noticed my car and observed it as he headed to the building across the street. It was a hard car to conceal, it stood out like a sore thumb in this community. He carried a shopping bag under his right arm.

I had planned to wait for him to go up but the surge of excitement made me jump out of the car prematurely, “Arthur! Arthur Fleck!” I called out, stupidly rushing to get the large gift basket out of the back and not trip over my 6 inch red bottoms. When he saw me struggling, he quickly crossed the street and rushed over.

“Miss Alexandria Wayne?” there was shock in his voice as I shoved the gift basket into his arms. He held it for me, his big pretty eyes in awe.

I adjusted my fur coat and straightened up my curls in an attempt to collect myself, “Yes, I… yes… Arthur Fleck correct? Pleasure to finally meet you,” I held out my manicured hand.

It was him. The man with the pretty eyes. 

Arthur Fleck.

He shifted the gift basket in his arms and took my hand, nervously shaking it. His hand was ice cold in mine, but soft and strong.

“This is an apology gift from m—from Wayne Enterprises. I saw the incident and truly feel awful at how you were treated,” I felt nervous under his stare. It was an odd feeling, I never felt nervous…

When I studied his face up close, I couldn’t help but notice his handsome features but… but his face was tired and sad, his pretty eyes dull, his entire body seemed… exhausted. He also had some kind of white residue under his chin and around his nose. It occurred to me that it could be some type of illegal substance, then I noticed something green and fuzzy in his bag.

Was that a wig?!

Arthur was dressed nice, as I also recall from the first time I saw him at Wayne Enterprises. His earthy-toned clothes where clean and ironed. But they were worn and weathered.

“May we go up?” I asked, pointing to the building. Stupid thing to do right? This man could be on drugs and I am inviting myself into his apartment.

He hesitated, laughing shyly.

Oh… that was cute...

“I didn’t expect /you/…” He admitted, “I…” he looked up towards his building and I realized he was embarrassed of taking me up. So, I began walking towards the building and he quickly followed, “My mom is home... I… Its—”

“That’s no problem, it would be a pleasure to meet her too,” I smiled. I was determined to show him he had nothing to be embarrassed about.

Why? I don’t know.

“Miss Alexandria Wayne—”

“You can call me Alex,” I cut in as we walked into the building. I headed to the elevator and stepped in, knowing his floor and apartment number. He followed nervously and was silent as the elevator went up. His entire body was nearly obstructed by the big gift basket but even then I could tell that he was as tense as a wooden plank. 

The elevator dinged and we stepped off and headed to his apartment. When he struggled to open it while holding the basket, I took the keys from him and opened the door.

“Happy? You’re home early,” I heard a woman call out.

Early? It was almost 8…

Sure, I often made it home much later, but it wasn’t because I was at work. Well, not usually.

“Mom, someone is here to see us,” he called out as he walked in and placed the gift basket on the small dinner table. I placed his keys on a little table that was near the door and closed it behind us.

“This is my mom, Penny,” He motioned to her.

“Hi, good afternoon,” I smiled, feeling very shy again, “I’m—”

“Miss Alexandria Wayne?!” Penny stood from the sofa and Arthur quickly hurried over to help her.

I hurried over so she wouldn’t feel obligated to come over. I smiled warmly and shook her hand, “Please, call me Alex,” I replied politely.

“What an honor! I—I can’t believe that you are here in our home! Please, Miss Alexandria Wayne, please sit,” she led me over to the sofa.

I looked over and saw Arthur fidgeting nervously.

“Call me Alex, please” I repeated with a smile, removing my fur coat and tossing it on the sofa as I sat down with her. There were pillows and covers at the end. One of them slept there and I could already guess it was Arthur.

“As you wish, Miss Alex,” She smiled. “Arthur, can you make her some coffee or tea dear,” she called out to him.

I looked back at him and our eyes met, I could tell what he was probably thinking, it was like instinct. He probably thought that I wouldn’t want something to eat from their home.

“Coffee would be nice, I can help you,” I offered and moved to stand up but Penny stopped me, “Miss Alex, you’re so beautiful, I’m so sorry that our home is such a mess, oh dear...” he shook her head in embarrassment.   
“Arthur must have forgotten to tell me you would be coming, oh dear… I’m so embarrassed…”

“You home is beautiful and cozy,” I assured her. It truly was, in a different way than mine. It felt… homey… inviting…

“You are so kind, I can tell from seeing you on TV!” she smiled.

“Thank you I… I really don’t know what to say… but thank you,” I squeezed her hands softly.

“We are so lucky to have you here with us, I never imagined we would have you in our home. Please have dinner with us,” she quickly invited.

“I um…” I looked back at her as Arthur went into the kitchen, “Well, I’d love to Mrs. Penny, thank you. Well, really, I’m here because… Arthur… um… Arthur was at Wayne Enterprises yesterday morning and… well I just feel he didn’t get the treatment and respect that he should have and I’m here to apologize on behave of the company and—”

“On behalf of Thomas Wayne?” She asked.

“Mom…” I jumped, not realizing Arthur was back in the living room.

I looked up at him and frowned, then turned back to her, “Well yes, and my father as well as my entire family and the company.” I finished.

“Thomas Wayne is a good man, whatever happened—”

“Was out of his control and I thank you for apologizing and for coming here,” Arthur cut her off, he was clearly nervous around that subject, “is pasta okay for dinner? I can also make... ramen...” he fidgeted.

I glanced between them and decided not to include her in the questions I had for Arthur just yet. “Pasta is fine. I actually love pasta”.

Arthur was clearly a little surprised I agreed to dinner.

“It’s my fault, I sent Arthur to deliver the letter to Thomas,” Penny admitted.

“So the letter was from you?” I asked and she nodded.

“The coffee is ready Miss Wayne—” Arthur interrupted loudly. Okay, it was clear, he didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“Alex,” I corrected him again, “Alex, please, I get called Miss Wayne literally everywhere else,” I rolled my eyes but smiled at him.

Penny and I made our way to the table and Arthur served us coffee and a few cookies. As Arthur cooked dinner, Penny talked about how she worked for my uncle Thomas years ago, which I was surprised to know because I had never heard of her. Somehow, I began to realize there was a lot more to them and the letter. But I knew right now was not the time to ask. Arthur attempted to redirect her constantly with no success.

And so I drank my coffee and politely listened as she talked about the gardens, the lavish bedrooms and décor, the massive dining table… everything that had already been remodeled maybe 10 times since she had been there.  
Arthur listened to stories he probably heard over and over as he cooked. It didn’t take him long to bring both me and Penny a plate of spaghetti. He sat down with one, but I noticed he didn’t eat much. I, on the other hand, finished mine.

Some hours later, probably close to 10 or 11, Arthur finally stood and gently directed her to bed, telling her it was time to sleep, “I’ll put the Murray show on for you,” he promised as he led her away.

“Murray Franklin? Do you all watch the show? He’s my godfather,” I smiled, watching as Arthur gently helped her. I had long since kicked my heels off, and they laid somewhere under the dining table. I know it wasn’t my place, but I followed them into the bedroom. 

I couldn’t explain why I felt so comfortable with them.

“I know! The pictures from that day are beautiful Alex,” Penny replied excitedly as Arthur helped her to bed, assisted her with removing her robe, then lifted her legs into bed and softly placed the covers over her. It was odd to see a son being so… so attentive to his mother. It made me feel… a way I couldn’t express.

I smiled, “thank you, I can’t say I remember much from that day, but I have also seen the pictures.” I giggled, watching as Arthur turned her bedside table off, then turned on the old TV. The Murray Franklin show had already started. “Sleep well Mrs. Penny,” I smiled warmly as Arthur finished up.

“Good night Miss Alex, please come back and see us, it was such a pleasure talking with you,” she called out as I waved and followed Arthur back to the living room.

“I’m sorry, I know I overstayed my welcome, but I really enjoyed having dinner with you and Mrs. Penny, thank you for everything,” I smiled as we stood in the living room. I hesitated, “I’m so sorry, I’ve been meaning to tell you, you have something right here,” I lifted my hand and with the sleeve of my dress, wiped the white residue from his chin and nose. It smeared like some kind of make-up. Not drugs, I still hoped.

He clearly didn’t know what to make of my gesture and just stood there shyly as I cleaned it off, his pretty eyes avoiding mine. “May I ask what it is?” I let my curiosity get the best of me.

“Grease paint,” He replied.

“Like… for a costume?” I asked.

“Yes, I’m a party clown.”

“Oh! That’s why you have the green wig?!” it all made sense now!

He didn’t know what to make of my sudden excitement. Or about the fact that I somehow knew he had a green wig.

“You will have to invite me to watch you some time!” I smiled. There was an awkward silence between us.

“...Well, I know it's late, I don’t want to keep you up any longer. It was lovely meeting you and your mother. I still have some questions about the incident, but we can discuss them another time. Thank you once again for everything.” I picked up my coat.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” he followed me, no coat, no nothing.

“No need, really,” I replied.

“It's not safe Miss Alex,” he replied.

"O-oh, okay," I felt a little warm inside at the fact that he wanted to protect me.

As we walked out, I looked over at him, “Your coat?”

“I don’t want to make you wait…” he replied shyly.

I couldn’t help but smile.

Oh, Arthur Fleck. 

I took mine off and wrapped it around him, then snuggled up close to him. “We’ll just share mine then,” I bit my lip to disguise a grin when he tensed up. Up close he smelled of cigarettes and cologne. I had noted the strong cigarette scent in the apartment, but neither he or Penny had smoked while I was there.

We headed out and to my car, then I quickly jumped in, leaving my coat with him. I had started it before going down and it was toasty warm. He went to take it off and I stopped him, “Take it up, you can give it to me another time,” I smiled, “Plus, fur looks good on you,” I teased. He smiled with big, confused eyes as I closed the door and drove away.

The sight of Arthur Fleck, standing in the middle of the street, wearing a white fur coat is one I’ll never forget.


	3. A New Wayne?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Always on a mission, Alex kills two birds with one stone.

“So the letter was actually from your mother, for my uncle Tom?” I clarified.

I had called Arthur early that morning before he left for work and had asked him to meet me for lunch. I still had a lot of questions and had not been able to really talk to him about the letter and about his visit to Wayne Enterprises that day.

He nodded, taking a sip of his coffee. He held the hot mug with both hands and the way his eyes looked up at me over the mug made my heart soft.

We sat opposite each other in a small coffee shop near his work place. It was a chilly day in Gotham city and it honestly bothered me a little bit that Arthur wasn’t wearing much to stay warm. Just a tan jacket, no gloves, no hat… but he had remembered to bring my fur coat to return it.

“Can I ask what the letter was about?” I continued.

He hesitated.

“Arthur, I have to know what’s written in the letter if I am to help you give it to my uncle. Please understand, he’s my uncle…” I waited.

Arthur’s pretty green eyes lowered to the cup of coffee he held in his hands. He sighed, “You won’t believe me… It's” he shook his head and shrugged his shoulder defeatedly, “… it’s a long story and… I don’t think it’s even worth the trouble…”

“Whatever it is, I promise I’ll try to understand, but… but if you feel that way then I also understand…” I reached out and placed my hand on his forearm.

His eyes moved to where my hand rested on his forearm and I felt a little shy. I don’t know why I wanted to be so affectionate towards this man.

He hesitated, his eyes slowly lifting back up to mine, “Thomas Wayne is my father…” he suddenly replied, "Or... or at least that's what my mother tells me."

I was taken aback by how bluntly and directly he answered my question. I stared at him and would have thought he was crazy had I not listened to his mother’s stories about working for my family years ago. And the accuracy with everything she remembered.

“I don’t expect you to believe what I’m saying… I have no proof and it does sound crazy but—”

I quickly cut him off, “No… no I’m just… I didn’t expect that…” I tried to think of the possibility and what it meant. This meant he was Bruce’s brother… my family… if it was true…

I looked back up at him, “We have to have proof, whatever the story is, we have to have proof. I can help you, I’ll… I’ll set up an appointment for a test, I’ll come by and pick you up after work today.”

“A test?” He was perplexed.

“A paternity test, I’ll figure it out by the end of the day. I’ll pick you up, okay?” I picked up my bag and quickly called the waiter over. I handed her my card and stopped Arthur when he began to protest.

“Just be ready,” I stood and quickly took my bag and searched for my phone, “I’ll be outside your apartment,” I instructed him as the waiter came back with my card. I quickly hurried away as soon as he handed it to me, but ran back and gave Arthur a hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

I left him in that coffee shop, not sure if he was shocked that I believed him and wanted to help him, or because I had kissed him on the cheek.

***  
I waited outside his apartment later that night, as promised, near 7 pm.

I had arranged everything by that point. I had done nothing but make phone calls the entire day. I had successfully set up a pop-up blood drive at Wayne Enterprises and told uncle Tom it was a PR campaigned to promote giving blood and saving lives. He gave blood and even took pictures while doing so for the newspaper. The hospital also had a fresh new supply of blood for their blood bank with all the donations.

Boom. Two birds with one stone.

I started the car when I saw Arthur appear from around the corner. I honked and as he was crossing the street, a woman called out to him and waved as she was leaving the apartment building. She was tall and thin, like a supermodel. She also had a little girl with her who also waved at Arthur. I watched as Arthur waved back timidly, very obviously love struck by this woman. 

I looked away and waited for him. When he was at my window I motioned for him to go around and get in. I pulled out as he fastened his seatbelt.

“That’s a friend of yours?” I asked curiously.

“A neighbor,” he replied.

“Oh… she’s beautiful” I commended. 

“I saw news about the blood drive,” he replied, not addressing my comment about his neighbor. 

“Yes, I’ve gotten a blood sample from my uncle. Now we just need one from you.” I replied.

“They won’t believe us… even with the results…” I looked over as he stared out the window blankly.

“Arthur, he can’t deny it if we have proof, that’s why it’s important to have something tangible that he can’t dismiss. It will be alight, okay? Just relax,” I replied reassuringly.

We arrived at the hospital shortly after. Gotham was one of those cities that never sleeps, so even after dark the city was alive with people and traffic.

Arthur and I walked side by side, the click of my heels the only noise between us as I took him inside and to the elevator, then we went up. My friend was a gynecologist, so she had the resources available to draw blood and send it for testing. Her office was a clean white, pleasant place and felt both comforting and warm. Perfect for the scared and unsure Arthur I had brought with me.

“He’s cute,” She teased as we walked through the back hall into an empty patient room. I gave her a look and she giggled.

Arthur looked uncomfortable. His big pretty eyes scanning the medical room as he tried to make himself unseen with his silence and his body language. He stood close to the walls, kept his hands in the pockets of his slightly too small jacket, and kept his gaze down. 

He made me feel warm and soft. I wanted to take care of him. Even more than I already wanted to.

“Sit here, I’ll get my things,” Ashley said to both of us. Arthur and I waited alone in the room, awkwardly in silence with posters of developing fetuses inside the womb and uteruses around us.

“Are you okay?” I asked him.

He nodded, his green eyes still scanning the posters on the wall.

“She and I have been friends for a long time, I trust her and I promise you can too,” I smiled once his eyes landed on me.

He was going to say something, but stopped when Ashley returned.

“Ash… I just want to remind you, please keep this between us,” I added for safe measure as she set her things up to draw blood.

“Of course, don’t worry, no one will hear anything from me,” she smiled, “So, you’re Arthur?” she asked as she prepared the tubes and needles.

He nodded, his eyes watching her hands as she put gloves on, opened the needle packages, and set the tubes aside.

“Yes.” His reply was quiet and timid. 

“The party clown?”

He nodded this time. 

I blushed a little, I hadn’t expected Ashley to remember that. She sunk the needle into his arm and he watched, his eyes following the blood as it left his body and emptied into the tube.

“Sorry, I haven’t done this in a while,” Ashley teased him, “I might be a little rusty, usually my RNs takes care of this stuff, but I thought I would do it just to make sure we kept things between us,” she added. He looked up at her then at me, I made a face and he smiled.

Arthur busied himself with the chart depicting the fallopian tubes once she finished with him and labeled and sealed everything. “So what’s all this about?” She whispered to me.

“I’ll tell you another time,” I promised, both of us glancing at Arthur.

“You better be careful Alex, if Rich finds out he’s going to lose it, and it will be chaos,” she warned.

I frowned, “Finds what out? I’m not doing anything wrong…” I replied in confusion.

“Oh Alex…” She looked over and shook her head. 

I rolled my eyes, “As if Rich even has the right to ask,” I scoffed, “and anyway… Arthur is just a friend,” I reassured her.

“So you know him enough to call him a friend? How long have you actually known him? You’ve never mentioned him before, I mean, you called me today and told me about him, and that’s only because you needed me,” she was confused.

“I think… a few weeks,” I lied.

“And he’s just a friend?” she asked again, narrowing her eyes at me.

“Of course,” I looked into her eyes and shrugged, trying to be as casual as I could.

“Mmhmm,” She smiled to herself.

***

“So, what’s it like, entertaining people?” I asked Arthur once we were on our way back. He didn’t question me when I stopped and picked up food.

His face brightened instantly, “It’s so much fun, I like to make people laugh.” He played with the zipper on his jacket. 

I giggled, “I am honestly trying to picture you as a clown and I can’t, for the life of me, I just can’t.” 

When his smile fell I quickly explained myself, “You’re so quiet… so poised, so collected and proper… I don’t know how to explain it, I don’t mean it in a bad way at all Arthur, I promise. It’s just… I really want to see you in full clown make up and costume and doing your clown thing,” I smiled at him and he chuckled, adorably shrugging his right shoulder.

“I’m doing several private acts tomorrow…” He replied.

Was this him inviting me?! “Oh please let me come! I’ll skip uni tomorrow, after all I told my piano instructor I was sick today, I won’t interrupt you and I’ll help in any way if you need me to!” I begged.

He laughed and my heart fluttered.

“Is it bad to skip out on your obligations?” he asked.

Oh Arthur.

“Well… I hardly ever do, once won’t hurt. Plus, I am so tired of the same thing over and over again and I need some excitement in my life… I'm so sick of my same old routine… Seriously," I insisted when he gave me a look. I sighed, “Pweeeeeeese?!

“You can come Miss Alex,” he replied.

“Alex, we’re friends Arthur, call me Alex!”

I parked across the street once we arrived back to Anderson Ave and asked him to help me carry the food up. He was confused so I explained, “I wanted to provide dinner tonight, you made me spaghetti yesterday, today is my turn,” I smiled as I handed him one of the bags. "I mean, it's not home cooked but maybe one of these days I'll make you and Penny something!"

I had a lovely dinner with him and Penny before heading home for the night, but I couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

The excitement kept me up half of the night.


	4. The Cigarette Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex finds a way to help Arthur kick a bad habit, and also learn a little bit more about him.

“Well, feel better darling, you have many events coming up next week and Richard is expecting you to attend with him.” My mother had come in to check on me early that morning after my nana had told her that I had fallen ‘sick’. She was keeping her distance by staying at the door.

Her words however, really did give me nausea. I truly disliked Richard. I nodded and she gave me an apologetic smile and left. She had never really been the ‘motherly’ type. But I think she tried her best.

I gave it a few minutes before I jumped out of bed, showered as fast as I could, then put on something casual that I could easily hide in for the day. My stylists had been dismissed as I was ‘sick’ and wouldn’t be needing them.

I would be spending the day with Arthur and I couldn’t be more excited. I was hurrying to my car when my phone rang as I hurried about and it was none other than Bruce Wayne himself. 

The silly picture of him with a bat sitting on top of his head that I had taken at the zoo a few years ago on his birthday always made me giggle when he called. I was going to ignore the call, as I was in such a hurry, but I truly felt bad so I answered the call instead. Bruce was more like a brother than a cousin.

“B, what’s up?” I answered as I tossed my LV into the passenger’s seat and buckled myself in.

“Bug, Aunt Anna said you’re sick?” He was worried, I could tell by his voice.

I felt even worse for contemplating not answering his call.

I sighed, “B, I think it’s just a cold, or maybe the flu, I’m okay though,” I lied. I hated lying to Bruce.

Okay, so I trusted and confided most everything in my life to Bruce, but… I was just not ready to explain Arthur. 

It was then that I realized that they were brothers. Even without the results, I somehow believed that already.

“I’m going to come by and see you,” He replied.

I panicked, “I won’t be home, I’m--i’m going to go see Ashley, maybe she can help,” I wasn’t even thinking about the lies I was spitting out anymore.

“Ashley is a gynecologist… Are you sure everything is alright? Bug, I don’t want you driving around when you’re sick, I’m already on my way, I’ll take you to Dr. Stevens instead,” he replied.

I ran a panicked hand through my hair, “B, I don’t want to see Dr. Stevens, all he talks about is marriage and you KNOW how I feel about that,” I was already on the main highway, speeding towards Anderson Ave. “Plus, I’ve already left. I’ll call you later okay? I PROMISE I’m fine. I’ll have dinner with you or something? If I’m feeling better, how about it?” I offered.

“Fine, I’ll bring some dinner by, after 8 sometime? We can watch a movie or something? Your pick.”

I giggled, “Okay, we’ll see, can’t have the great Bruce Wayne sick,” I teased. I could literally see him rolling his eyes.

“Don’t cause any trouble,” he replied, his way of saying goodbye to me, and I laughed as I pressed the button in my steering wheel to end the call.

I arrived at Anderson Ave not much later. Arthur was already waiting for me outside his apartment building. He carried that same shopping bag with him.

I ran up and hugged him tightly, squeezing his thin body in my arms. I don’t know why I did it, it was like instinct. Again, he smelled fresh, his brown curls a little wet against the side of my face. Maybe from the shower, maybe from the slight icy drizzle we were getting in Gotham city that morning. He also smelled of cigarettes.

“I’m so excited!” I giggled as I pulled back and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He had kind of just stood there while I hugged and kissed him. I didn’t get the feeling he didn’t like the affection, more rather… that he didn’t know what to do with it. No worries Arthur, with me, you will get used to it.

He smiled, “Good morning Alex.”

I grinned, I liked how he said my name, “Good morning Mr clown man,” I teased and his eyes twinkled as his smile got just a little hint bigger. Why was this man’s smile so precious? “I can drive us if you’d like,” I offered after we smiled at each other like idiots for a few seconds.

“Whatever is more comfortable to you, I usually take the subway—”

“I’ve never been on the subway!” I gasped, “And I literally don’t know anyone that knows how to use it!”

“It’s not exactly fun…” he kinda laughed at my dumb excitement over the subway, “But subway it is.” His voice was so soft, so gentle… I really loved Arthur’s slightly raspy, slightly innocent, slightly deep voice.

We walked side by side down the chilly street. I quickly wished I had worn warmer clothes, but it just gave me an excuse to snuggle up against him. “Do you mind? It’s kinda cold,” I shivered.

“You can have my jacket,” he moved to take it off and I quickly stopped him.

“Arthur, it's COLD, you need your jacket, I’m fine here,” I said, moving closer to him and hugging his arm tightly against me, “I-if you don’t mind…” I repeated.

He shook his head and I smiled and snuggled away.

He led me to the nearest subway station and I followed him down the stairs. It was busy down underground, and it was truly a weird concept to me. It was like a whole new city under the streets. Arthur stopped in front of a row of machines and I watched as he put crumpled money into one, “Wait you have to pay?” I asked, frowning.

“Yes,” he laughed at my question.

“I really thought… I truly thought it was free! I’m so sorry, here, I’ll pay you back,” I began to dig through my pocket and he stopped me.

“It’s okay,” he laughed, then handed me a metro card.

I looked at it and turned it in my hand, “So… what do I do with it?”

“I’ll show you,” he truly was trying not to laugh at me. He showed me how to swipe my new card, told me how many trips I had on it, and then we waited amongst a crowd of people.

It was a little overwhelming but truly exciting at the same time. I tried to take in every detail. It was BUSY. So many people everywhere. I looked and tried to read all the signs. Just then a subway arrived but on the other side, Arthur didn’t move so I supposed it wasn’t ours. “I think I would get lost down here,” I commented.

“You get used to it,” he replied.

“It goes as far as upstate?” I was impressed as I read the signs and tried to make sense of them.

“And further,” he added.

I looked up at him and our eyes met. I couldn’t look away. They were so beautiful.

The subway arrived and a woman accidentally bumped me as she moved to get on, which snapped both of us out of our held gaze. I followed Arthur into the train and we found a seat and sat down. I quickly snuggled close once again.

I looked around as the cab filled with people, “Stay clear of the closing doors” a voice called out over the speaker.

What an experience, truly. 

“Do you ride every morning?” I asked.

“Not every morning,” he replied, “Ha Ha’s is close enough to walk.”

“Ha Ha’s, that’s where you work right?”

He nodded.

I observed him as I rested my chin on his shoulder, my arms tightly hugging his right arm against my chest. He fidgeted with his hands nervously.

“Arthur, you smoke, don’t you?” I suddenly asked. He looked down at me, our faces close. “You know it’s really bad for you.”

“It’s… a bad habit…” he replied sadly.

I suddenly began to search him, “I’m going to help you drop that habit, that’s what friends are for,” I replied.

He laughed and squirmed as I patted his pockets, finally finding the cigarette pack in his right pant pocket. It was open, and I counted how many were missing, “5, I get to ask you 5 questions about anything I want and you have to answer truthfully,” I stuffed the pack into my pocket, “Oh, and i’m not giving them back,” I added.

He was going to protest but I cut him off, “Hmmm…” I tried to think of what to ask, “What’s your favorite color?”

“Red.”

“That was too easy,” I frowned, “Do you like that girl that’s your neighbor?” I suddenly asked.

“I…” He was caught completely off guard by my question.

“You have to answer truthfully,” I reminded him.

“…Yes”

I knew it.

“What do you like about her?”

“I… I don’t know..” he laughed nervously, shrugging his shoulders.

“That’s not an answer,” I gave him a look, “What do you like about her? Her hair? Her facial features?”

“I… I guess that and… she’s nice and she always says hello…”

Okay. I would take that answer, “Have you thought about asking her out?”

He chuckled shyly.

“Have you?!!” I repeated.

“Yes…”

“You totally should Arthur, I mean, why not right?” I studied his face, “Do you like any other girls?”

“No.”

“You don’t?”

“That was question 5,” he pointed out. I rolled my eyes and he chuckled again. How cute was that chuckle?!

“So you do like the neighbor girl,” I commented, “What’s her name?” The subway stopped but he didn’t stand, so I didn’t worry about it.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked politely.

I sighed in playful exasperation, “I suppose…” I side eye’d him and grinned. But with Arthur you had to clarify a lot, I realized, “What is it?”

He looked unsure, but asked his question nonetheless, “What made you search for me?” He asked.

It was my turn to be caught off guard, “Um… well… I saw you that day, with the receptionist and… I was shocked and angry at how they treated you, I truly felt awful and I would never have been at peace if I hadn’t searched for you and personally apologized.”

“I’m sure I’m not the first person they do that to…”

“Probably not, but I want you to be the last,” I replied.

“You aren’t like what I imagined, Alex,” he commented.

I pulled back a little and looked up at him, “How did you imagine I was?”

“Very… different… I’ve seen you in the papers with you family and with Richard Stevens and—” he stopped when my face instantly changed.

At the mention of his name, I instantly felt ill. I could feel the blood drain from my face. Arthur quickly began to apologize, “I’m so sorry Miss Alex, I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m—”

“No Arthur, it’s okay,” I sighed, resting my head against his arm. I closed my eyes and suddenly, the ring on my finger felt like it was burning as I held onto his jacket tightly. “I hope you don’t see me as an awful person...”

“Of course not, I didn’t mean—”

“I know what you meant Arthur,” I replied, “You thought me as some spoiled brat that gets everything she wants and goes around treating others like her servants, didn’t you?” he tried to protest but I already knew, because most assumed I was that type of person. “I don’t even blame you… but I hope you see that I’m not like that.”

“You have been nothing but great to me, and to my mom, I just didn’t expect you to be so… nice…” he replied, “Or to care the way you do.”

“Why would anyone not be nice?” I asked, “To anyone? To you? Arthur you are precious.” I smiled, “So kind hearted, I instantly felt like we were meant to be best friends.”

He looked away shyly and laughed nervously. 

“I mean it,” I smiled up at him and shoved him gently with my shoulder. I didn’t fully understand this fluttering feeling I felt deep in my stomach when he smiled and laughed.

He looked back at me and into my eyes.

The fluttering in my stomach intensified. 

“What?” I asked.

“Life is different for people like me Alex, people are always going to be nice to you.” 

“Not always…” I replied. Rich’s angry face flashed in my mind. His insults. His general way of making me feel smaller than a grain of salt.

“Can I ask you something else?” he changed the subject and I was thankful he did.

“Of course,” I rested my head back on his shoulder.

“Why did you decide to help me?”

“Because I believe you,” I replied without missing a beat.


	5. Carnival the Clown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex falls in love with a clown.

Two stops later we were off the subway and walking the streets of Gotham again. Arthur took out a piece of paper and began to search for the address. I offered to type it into my phone but he promised there was no need. And I was kind of impressed that he found it with ease. People could still do that?!

It was a small party venue decorated with all things superhero. The space was full of kids of about 8 years old and their parents. Some kids were busy eating pizza and cake, some were chasing each other… others crying. It was mayhem.

One of the mothers greeted us and took us back to a small bathroom. I crawled onto the counter and sat cross legged as Arthur began to take his things out. “There’s so many kids!” I commented.

He laughed, taking out a bag of different colored grease paint. He started with the white and a paintbrush. I watched as he painted his entire face white. I noticed the green fuzzy wig in his bag and reached for it, throwing my cap off and replacing it with the wig. He chuckled at me.

My eyes followed his hands as he took out the blue next, I watched as he painted triangles above his eyes and upside-down triangles underneath his eyes. “How did you come up with this look?”

He shrugged, “I have tried several, I don’t really know how I settled with this one.”

“I love it,” I smiled as he carefully crafted his clown face. “When did you start doing this?" 

“When I was in 6th or 7th grade, I was in a school play, I kind of liked being silly and making people laugh,” he looked over at me and I wrinkled my nose and smiled at him. He chuckled and continued with the red paint, finishing by painting a big red smile on his face. He then bowed his head and I giggled, crowning him with the green fuzzy wig, which covered his gorgeous blown curls. He took his clothes into a stall, changed, and came out in full clown attire.

Where was Arthur Fleck?

He hopped over in a silly manner, with a spring to his step, playfully waving his arms and making a red rose appear. He bowed again and offered it to me. I couldn’t help but smile as I took it, “Hello Miss Alex, I’m Carnival the Clown!” his voice was playful and absolutely adorable.

I giggled, “Carnival? How cute you are!” I leaned over and kissed his cheek. He spun a few times, placing both hands on his cheeks, eyes wide, then he pretended to faint. I hopped off the counter and ran to his side, giggling as I looked down at the silly, adorable, clown before me. “Oh no! What have I done to Carnival the Clown?!” I gasped, “Oh dear, what should I do?”

He honked his own nose, eyes still closed, and I fell into a fit of giggles. I leaned down and placed another kiss on his red, round, clown nose.

His pretty eyes flew open and he jumped to his feet, doing a silly dance in his oversized clown shoes. He took my hands and pulled me to my feet, inviting me into the silly dance.

He took my entire heart that morning in that bathroom.

Suddenly the door opened and the woman came in, “Are you ready? The kids are waiting,” her voice was snappy and annoying.

“Yes ma’am,” he quickly replied, rushing over to check his make up quickly before heading out. What a bitch, I thought, but held back because I knew this was Arthur’s job.

Watching him perform was an absolute delight. He sang, he made balloon animals for the kids, and told them silly jokes. The way he interacted with them… they were in complete trance with him, he had their full attention. He was so good at what he did, I was in utter amazement. I had never in my life had such a good time. I sat among the kids and sang along with them, danced along to Carnival’s music, and laughed at his funny jokes.

How was this Arthur Fleck?!?!?!?

That shy, timid, adorable man that could barely look me in the face.

The challenge was keeping my mouth shut when the mother made a comment to Arthur about how he didn’t give her son as much attention as he should have. It was her son’s birthday after all, and the clown should have made it more special for him.

“All the kids had a good time, he was perfectly happy,” I tried to be as polite as I could.

“It’s my son’s birthday, and I’m paying you.” she snapped at me.

“I am truly sorry.” Arthur replied politely. I crossed my arms and looked away. I bit my tongue for his sake.

“Oh my GOD! What a bitch!” I was fuming as we left, “WHAT A BITCH!”

“Alex,” he looked back, afraid they would hear me yelling.

“I hope I didn’t get you in trouble, I’m so sorry Arthur, but I couldn’t just stand there and not say anything!”

“It’s fine,” he replied and our eyes met. He smiled at me, “Hoyt always finds something to yell at me about anyways.”

I felt awful, “Oh Arthur, I really didn’t want to get you in trouble! I’m so sorry!” I hugged his arm and pouted, “I never learned how to keep my mouth shut...”

Arthur was still in all clown attire, and walking down the streets of Gotham with an adorable clown did draw eyes.

“Alex, it’s okay,” he laughed.

I looked up at him, sticking my bottom lip out, “promise it’s okay?”

“Promise,” he replied.

It was late afternoon now and Arthur still had 2 other work acts to complete, another children’s party and a series of smaller, private room presentations at the burn unit at Gotham General Hospital.

If this was his whole day, I can’t imagine how exhausted he must be from all the singing and dancing.

By the time we got on the subway to head back to Anderson Ave, it was dark out and probably after 8. I snuggled close to Arthur, or Carnival I should say, and closed my eyes, resting my head against his shoulder with a deep yawn, “How do you do this all day, every day? I bet you’re so tired!”

“I enjoy it. Making people smile… helping them forget about their pain… their bad day…” he replied. His words made me feel soft inside. “But you have a busy day too, don’t you?” he asked.

I turned my head so I could still rest my head on his shoulder but look up at him. The blue makeup made is green eyes look even more beautiful. I tapped his red clown nose, which now hung around his neck like a necklace, and sighed, “Yeah, but I don’t get to make people laugh and smile and forget about their bad day… I have to go to lectures I don’t enjoy, pretend I care about business and marketing at Wayne Enterprises, go to piano and dance and etiquette classes because ‘you have to be cultured and well-rounded and be perfect at everything’… my parents literally force me to have dinner with Rich and his family at least once a week… it’s awful. But today was so much fun! I haven’t had fun like this in so long. Thank you for letting me come and even help! Those kids love you!”

He chuckled shyly.

When the subway made it to our stop, we headed out and realized it was raining heavy above ground. There were people on the streets, but less than usual, and all had thought to pick up an umbrella before leaving their home.

We waited a little bit, watching people rush by in the rain.

“Let’s just run for it,” I took Arthur’s hand.

“That’s probably not a good idea, the rain is cold and you could get sick,” he replied.

“Oh come on!” I pulled his hand, he tried to protest again but I insisted.

We took off running, and I laughed at how reviving and exhilarating it felt to be running in the icy rain, hand in hand with Carnival the clown.

“If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!” I sang and he laughed, clapping his hands for me.

“If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!” He began to dance like he did for his act and I followed.

“If you’re happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it, if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!” we both sang, locking arms and skipping in a circle in the middle of the sidewalk.

“If you’re happy and you know it wiggle your ears!” He sang and I held my hands up to my ears, both of us laughing. By now we were both soaked from the icy rain.

We sang and danced all the way back to his apartment. Out of breath and still laughing as we got on the elevator and went up. We continued the dance on the elevator, and as water pooled on the floor I slipped. Arthur tried to catch me but we both ended up on the floor of the elevator. He fell on top of me, our wide eyes met for a brief moment before we burst into more laughter. We crawled out when the door opened on his floor, thankful no one was there to see us.

“Happy?” Penny called out as soon as we opened the door.

“Yes mother, Alex is with me,” he replied.

“Hello Mrs Penny,” I walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, “I would give you a hug but…” I showed her how soaked I was from the rain, still laughing. Arthur came over and gave her a kiss as well.

“Oh no, you both are soaked, you’ll get sick, get in the shower, take that wet clothes off, both of you” She pushed me and Arthur towards the bathroom.

“Go ahead,” Arthur motioned for me to go in.

“You! You’ve been working all day,” I replied.

Penny brought over some clothes and Arthur insisted I go in first. I gave in and went inside. I showered as quickly as I could, got dressed, and left the shower to Arthur. While he showered and dressed, Penny and I made some warm tomato soup and garlic toast, perfect for the cold, rainy Gotham night.

His hair was combed back, the usually perfect brown curls now tamed with water from his warm shower. With his hair pulled back, I couldn’t help but notice how much he resembled uncle Tom. I imagined what Arthur would look like in an elegant, black Armani tux just like the ones Bruce and uncle Tom wore to fancy events and it donned on me again that Arthur Fleck was part of my family…

“Happy, we made some soup,” Penny called out to him, “Alex is a good cook, it looks delicious, see?” She said as he joined us in the kitchen. 

“Well… one of the many, many types of classes I’ve had to go to in the past are cooking classes,” I smiled, “I guess it does come in handy.”

“It smells wonderful,” Arthur replied.

I smiled and blushed a little. I wasn’t used to being complimented for things I did, more rather for how I looked. It was nice to be complimented for things that had nothing to do with my clothes or appearance.

Arthur brought over some bowels and he held them as I poured the hot soup into them. Soon we were all at the table, munching on garlic bread and letting the hot tomato soup warm our bodies. We talked a little about our day, I told Penny all about Arthur’s performances, how much the kids loved and enjoyed Carnival, and how impressed I was with Arthur’s ability to make people laugh and smile.

“I always tell him, he was placed here to make people happy,” she beamed.

“And you are so right about that! Those children, and even the patients at the burn unit, they truly got a few minutes of relief and just… they got to enjoy something, in the middle of the hard things they are going through, and that’s all thanks to Arthur,” I smiled at him from across the table. He was looking down at his bowl of soup, blushing but smiling.

My phone had died at some point and I had honestly forgotten about it completely as we finished dinner and decided to watch a movie. It was a Chaplin musical movie, one of those black and white ones that Arthur really wanted me to see. At one point during the movie, Arthur and I got up and danced, and I was so out of step that Penny couldn’t hold her laughter. I finally gave up, laughing so hard my stomach hurt, and laid down in the middle of the living room with Arthur looking down at me, still trying to explain a move and how to do it.

“Arthur, this is why I’m still in dance lessons!” I laughed, “I am awful at this! But I can show you ballroom dancing!” my stomach hurt from laughing so hard.

“You almost had it,” He reached down and picked me up, lifting my entire body with his arms and placing me on my feet. I stumbled a little, falling into him. I looked up at him and our faces were so close that I could clearly see that there were little golden/coppery rings in his eyes near his pupils. 

Wow… his eyes were so beautiful. 

I was also honestly a little impressed with his strength...

I quickly stood, clearing my throat and tucking a stand of my hair behind my ear.

We practiced a little more, eventually ending up back on the couch, snuggled under a warm blanket. When the movie was over, Arthur made coffee and we watched the Murray Franklin show.

I don’t remember at what point I dozed off with my head resting against Arthur’s shoulder. He gently shook me awake, “Alex? It’s late, your family will be worried,” he whispered softly, “I can ride with you and take the subway back.”

“What? No, it’s late Arthur”, I mumbled, snuggling closer to him.

“Alex?”

“I stay out with friends often, I’ll just tell them I’m with one of them,” I mumbled in my sleep.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes,” I mumbled. That was the last thing I remembered of that night.

Or morning.

Whatever time it was.


	6. Night out with Richard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's guardian angel comes to the rescue when she needs him the most.
> 
> *Some info, Richard is the subway guy who sings 'Send in The Clowns'*

I woke slowly the next morning, taking the time to just rest a little before I suddenly realized that I had completely forgotten about all of my responsibilities.

The sun was out and I was sleeping on the living room couch by myself. I quickly sat up and saw that Arthur was still sleeping, but he was snuggled up on the recliner to the left of me. I checked the time and it was late, instantly, my heart began to race. It was late considering I had to be at work in less than an hour.

I jumped up and ran over, gently shaking him awake, “Arthur?! Arthur?!” He was clearly a light sleeper and his eyes opened right away, “I just wanted to say bye before leaving, I’m late and I still have to go home, change, and be at Wayne Enterprises in like, 40 minutes.”

“I’ll go with you,” he sat up.

“No, no need, really,” I said, hurrying around the apartment collecting my shoes, hoodie, keys, and trying not to forget something I needed, “It’s freezing out.” I pulled the hoodie over my head.

He didn’t listen, of course, and put his jacket on and slipped his feet into his shoes anyways. “Here, this will keep you a little warmer,” he handed me a soft, faded, light green colored sweater. I took it with a smile, putting it on over my hoodie. It was soft and warm, and smelled like Arthur.

We hurried out and he walked me all the way to my car. I hugged him tightly and gave him a big kiss on the cheek before hopping into my car and reluctantly leaving. Heading back to my real, high paced, superficial life.

As soon as I put my phone on the charger on the drive back, a hoard of messages and missed calls appeared. I realized then that I had forgotten about the dinner and movie I was supposed to have with Bruce the night before.

A few others were from my mom.

Some from my friends.

And some from Rich.

***

“You're fucking coming with me whether you like it or not,” Rich snapped at me.

Because I hadn’t answered his calls, he was sitting in my office at work when I arrived, waiting on me.

“And where the fuck were you all night? Huh?” he snapped.

I walked in calmly, setting my bag down, then picking up my mail to look through it. He stood, stormed over, and slapped the mail out of my hands. The letters scattered across the floor.

“I said, where the fuck were you?” he snapped, this time his face only millimeters from mine.

“I was with Ashley, my phone died, we were talking all night and I fell asleep without charging or checking it,” I replied. The way he talked to me both angered and frightened me.

He laughed like it was the dumbest thing he had ever heard, “Don’t do it again. Next time, I’ll send the police to find you,” He warned. “Be ready by 7, my dear. Don’t make me wait.” 

He grabbed my face then and I struggled, pushing him away. He settled for kissing my cheek. I stumbled and almost fell back when he let go. He left after that, laughing as he slammed the door behind him.

I hated him.

Much later, I stared at my reflection as they curled and styled my hair for the night. I didn’t want to go, that was evident to everyone in the room. I finally asked my mom to just leave when all she could do was remind me of what a good man Rich was, that he was young and sometimes didn’t act like he should but that he would be a good husband and blah blah blah. I didn’t want to keep hearing about how ungrateful I was.

He picked me up around 7 that night as promised, and as he talked about nonsense, all I could think about was the silly little clown named Carnival who had made me smile and had stolen my heart just hours ago. I thought about him as I rode in Rich’s Bugatti, wearing the signature Tiffany and Co white diamond earrings and necklace he had brought as a present for me.

The girl who had tagged along with that silly little clown for a whole day, watching him make people laugh and smile, seemed like a whole different person than the one sitting next to Rich, wearing all designer and covered in things that had no meaning. 

I felt so empty inside. 

I endured the night as best as I could, pretending to smile and laugh while I did my best to sip as little alcohol as I could. It was hard pretending that I didn’t just want to call them all self-centered hypocrites, tell them to their face that all this talk, all these fancy foods and drinks would do nothing for the less fortunate people of Gotham. Here they were, talking about making things better for the city yet not lifting a single finger to make it happen. 

This was one of the things I hated most about these social gatherings.

Uncle Thomas gave a speech about his plans to run for mayor, and of course, he had the support of everyone in the room. Something happened that I couldn’t explain while I listened to him talk. He had never seemed like one of them… but now… it was like a smudged picture was beginning to clear. I tried not to notice how familiar the arch of his brow and his deep-set eyes were...

After the presentations and the speeches and whatever else they did, the live orchestra played soft music and everyone went around greeting and congratulating each other. I did my best not to fall asleep as I followed Rich and everyone told him how proud they were of him and his high ranking at Gotham School of Law. They asked me about business and upcoming plans for Wayne Enterprises and I tried to respond as quickly and shortly as possible without making it too obvious that I was bored out of my mind and the last thing I wanted to do was talk to them. This had always been my life, but for some reason, tonight was much more unbearable.

It was late when we finally headed out. The city was alive even at that hour, but I could not be more dead inside after such a long afternoon with Richard. I just needed to go home, curl into bed, and sleep the entire night away.

“You see how proud those people are of me? Maybe you should try a little, sheesh,” he commended as we headed toward the exist where his car was already waiting.

“You have accomplished a lot and you should be proud of yourself,” I mumbled half-interestedly. Why did he need me to care?

He stumbled a little as he walked. “Maybe I should drive…” I commented, but instantly regretted it.

He laughed, “Women are the worst drivers, we’re safer with a blind man!”

“We’re safer with a blind man, I agree,” I rolled my eyes.

I felt his gaze on me the rest of the walk to the car. When the usher opened the door for me, I thanked him and climbed inside. Into the passenger’s side, of course.

He took the longest route to the main highway, which annoyed me because that meant a longer time in the car with him. I looked out the window, watching the large brightly lit skyscrapers slowly zoom by. The city was beautiful at that time of night. Just as I was listening to the music and forgetting that I was sitting next to Richard, he lifted his hand off the gear shift and placed it on my thigh. “I am finding it harder and harder to wait until our wedding night. I think I might just take you up to my room tonight…”

I felt my blood run cold and I pushed his hand away.

He grabbed my wrist hard, making me cry out as he twisted it. He pulled the car over on the side of the road, the tires coming to a screeching stop. Right then I began to panic. I knew he had had a few drinks and from experience I knew that made his behavior worse.

“I’m getting tired of your behavior, princess,” he grabbed my face and I fought with him, “Lately, you’ve gotten worse about it. Almost like you’re interested in someone else. Do tell, is there someone else buzzing around my fresh meat?”

“Let me go Rich, please, just leave me alone” I pleaded, but fought harder when he didn’t listen. He pushed my head back against the headrest and pressed his lips against mine. I felt his hand slide under my dress and I screamed against his mouth, kicking my legs and pulling at his white YSL button up until some of the buttons popped off.

In pure panic, I kicked something that made the car alarm go off. When he moved off to stop it, I took the chance and opened the door, leaving everything behind and hauled ass out of there. I fell several times, but got right back up, making a sharp turn down under the overpass and running in the opposite direction of his car.

I only remember running as fast as I could, probably looking crazy and deranged. I ran and cried, no idea how I could do both at the same time. I didn’t know what my plan was, I never did when Rich I fought like this. I couldn’t really go to anyone, because no one saw this side of him except me, or so I imagined. How could they know he was like this and still support him?

I couldn’t even go to Bruce, because if Bruce found out what was going on, Rich would be skinned alive.

I didn’t have anything on me, not my phone, or my purse, I had no money…

I was gasping, the icy air tore at my lungs and when I finally stopped running, it stung like alcohol to a wound. I realized I stopped in front of a subway station, but I was out of luck with no money. I was still crying, my voice almost unintelligible as I stuck my hand out and begged whoever walked by for money. Someone had enough pity on me to drop a few coins into my hand, I thanked them multiple times and quickly, without thinking, ran to the nearest payphone and dialed Arthur’s number, which I was surprised I knew by memory.

“Hello,” he answered after a few rings.

A wave of relief filled me just by hearing his voice and I began crying all over again. I couldn’t speak because I was crying so hard.

“Alex?” he realized, “Alex, are you okay?” he asked, his voice now panicked on the other end.

“ARTHUR! ARTHUR PLEASE! PLEASE COME GET ME!” I finally managed to say, half yelling.

“Where are you? I’ll come right away!” he replied anxiously.

“I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T KNOW!” I cried, my entire body shaking. People walked by and stared at me. I couldn’t imagine what I looked like.

“It’s okay, it’s okay Alex, I’ll come get you, wherever you are, I’ll come and get you but you have to tell me where you are. Look around, do you see any street names?” he asked.

I did as he told me and blurred out the name of the subway station that was across the street, the first thing I could see, then began to describe the buildings and businesses nearby. I begged him to hurry, to come and get me.

Those long minutes that I waited for him were eternal. It could have been 10 minutes, it could have been a million. It was freezing, but I stood out close to the street, afraid that he would come and not find me.

When I finally saw him emerge from the subway station stairs, I ran across the street, almost getting hit by the oncoming traffic. He met me half way, looking out for me and stopping the cars from hitting me. I jumped into his arms and bawled my eyes out again as I buried my face into his shoulder, my legs giving out and I could no longer feel them. He must have lifted me and carried me out of the street, for I realized we were no longer in the middle of the street.

I began telling him everything. Or, in my mind I was telling him everything but it made absolutely no sense when it came out. It was word vomit.

“It’s okay, hey, it’s alright,” he nodded, pretending he was understanding me even though he could make no sense of what I was saying. He lifted his hands and gently cupped my tear/make up stained face, “Alex, it’s okay, I’ll take you home,” he assured me.

“NO! No please no!!” I begged, clinging onto him with desperation, “I don’t want to go home! Please no Arthur!”

He nodded, wiping my tears with his soft, cold hands, “Okay, home with me and mom?” he offered and I quickly nodded.

He didn’t say anything else as he helped me down the subway stairs. He quickly purchased another card of me and before long, we were on the subway heading to Anderson Ave. I sat as close to him as I could, my knees quivering against his and my face buried against his chest, his warm arms around me. I felt Arthur move against me and then felt his warm jacket around my shoulders. 

I wanted to cry again, just at how protected and safe I felt with him. He kept his arms tightly around me and didn’t bother me with questions. When he finally did ask me something, it was honestly understandable.

“Should we go to the hospital?” he asked quietly. I shook my head and he didn’t press. I knew he just wanted to make sure I was okay. Physically okay.

I must have dozed off at some point, because the next thing I remember was the soft sound of an elevator ding, the rattling of keys, and then a few minutes later I was placed gently on a warm, familiar sofa. I felt someone remove my shoes, then felt the weight of a warm blanket being placed on top of me. I opened my eyes just to see that it was Arthur.

Arthur, my angel.

I grabbed onto his hand and didn’t let go. In my mind I thanked him, but my eyes only fluttered open for a few moments before I fell right back to sleep.


	7. Arthur's Laugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the lies begin to crumble before them, Arthur and Alex have no way to prepare for what's coming.

I woke up slowly the next morning, as I realized is the norm in the Fleck household. I just felt so safe in this environment.

Before I even opened my eyes, I could feel a hand in mine, which I had nuzzled tightly against my cheek. I closed my fingers around it, and as I opened my eyes, Arthur lifted his head from the sofa and looked over at me. 

He was sitting in front of me but on the floor next to the sofa. He had been resting his head on the sofa next to mine, his brown curls were messy and tousled but oh so precious. 

Everything hurt. My throat, my feet, my head, the hand that Rich had twisted… my entire body was in pain.

“Arthur,” I spoke, my voice now calm but completely gone. It was just a whisper. A painful, raspy whisper. I lifted my free hand up to my throat and winced.

“I’ll make you some tea,” he replied, our hands slowly parted and I didn’t like the feeling of not having his hand in mine.

I closed my eyes and took a few moments to just breathe and relax while I heard him in the kitchen. A while later, he brought over a mug of hot tea with a little lemon and honey. I sat up, my entire body protesting and took it. 

The warmth of it was soothing on my hands and he noticed how I just held onto it for a long while, warming my fingers.

“Do you want to take a bath? I can start it for you,” he offered.

A bath would feel amazing I thought, “Penny?” I rasped out.

“Mom is still sleeping,” he replied.

I looked around for the time, trying to orient myself.

“It’s early, around 7:30,” Arthur answered my question.

7:30 and it was Sunday. I didn’t sleep very long, I realized.

“I’ll start the bath for you,” he offered.

I nodded, reaching for his hand as he stood. He turned to look back down at me, “Thank you.” My voice sounded miserable.

He nodded and gave me a small, warm smile. I sipped and finished the tea right as he came back and told me the bath was ready.

When I closed the bathroom door behind me, I noticed he had left one of the dim lights on, some warm clothes on the counter, and had made sure the tub was full of bubbles.

It was the most soothing bath I had taken in a long time. I rested in the hot water, closed my eyes, and listened to the soft humming of the TV outside as Arthur watched the news quietly, the cars passing by, the voices from people out on the street... I don’t remember last time that life slowed down enough for me to enjoy or even notice the small things.

When I finally pulled myself out of the cooling water, drained it and took a quick shower, my stomach growled from hunger. But I already felt 10 times more like myself.

Penny was watching TV as Arthur cooked breakfast when I stepped into the living room. “Good morning Alex, how are you? Arthur said you were here, how great to see you again!” she smiled brightly.

I cleared my throat, and my voice was already coming back, yet it still sounded raspy and hoarse, “Mrs Penny, it’s great to see you too,” I went over, kissed and hugged her, then went to find Arthur in the kitchen.

“Hey….” I said, watching as he scrambled some eggs. “Um… I just wanted to thank you for everything…”

“You already have,” he reminded me.

“Well yes… but I feel that I really need to express how thankful I am. It was late already last night and… I know you have work today and… I just… thank you Arthur…”

He looked over at me, “You don’t have to thank me, we’re friends. I will always be here for you,” he assured me. I watched as he turned the stove off and separated the eggs into 3 different plates. “Do you feel better?” he asked.

“Oh much better,” I smiled.

When the toaster sounded behind me and he placed the skillet down to fetch it, I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly, squeezing his thin body in my arms. I closed my eyes and buried my face against his chest. 

“Thank you Arthur, really, you being there for me means a lot… you’re my angel,” I mumbled against his shirt. I pulled back and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

***

“Hey stranger,” Ashley said as soon as I picked up.

I was rushing to one of my early morning classes when she called. Still exhausted and sore, I showed up for the exam we had early that Monday morning. I wore Arthur’s faded olive colored sweater, but now over an elegant white-lace Prada dress, Fendi heels that matched in color, and perfectly sculpted curls framing my bright, smiling face.

“Ash, I’m so sorry I’ve been so busy!” I replied. I had been studying the very boring material most of the night after I had gotten home from Arthur’s. When I had gotten home, my mom scolded me for leaving Rich to go out with Emma, another friend of mine. Initially, I was confused, but she continued, ‘He came here even at that time of night to leave your things, you are such an ungrateful young lady,’ she had snapped at me.

I realized that Rich had lied about what happened again. It wasn’t uncommon for him to lie about his abuse towards me to cover it up.

“With the clown man?” Ashley asked.

I took her off speaker, “Ash, that’s between us,” I reminded her, finding a seat in the large auditorium style classroom.

“Yes, I know, I haven’t told anyone,” she replied.

“But… I actually went out with Rich Saturday night and it just didn’t go well…”

I heard her sigh on the other end, “Come on, I know you and him don’t get along but Alex, do you even give him a chance?” She replied.

“We’ve been through this…” I rolled my eyes, digging through my bag for a pencil. No one believed me when I told them how awful Richard was.

There was a pause before she spoke, “Alright, I won’t argue with you.”

“Thanks” I replied.

“I’m just saying. Arthur seems like a nice man and I don’t know what your intentions are but--”

“Okay, I really feel like I should go ahead and stop you right there,” I replied, “Arthur is a FRIEND. A frieeeeeeeeend!”

There was another long pause. “Well, alright then” she finally responded. I could feel my heart racing.

“So I was actually calling to tell you that I have the results—”

“Why did you have to tell me that right before my exam? I won’t be able to think about anything else!”

With everything else going on, I had almost forgotten about what actually brought Arthur and I together.

I couldn’t stop thinking about them all day after Ashley’s call. I took my exam as quickly as I could, then sped to the hospital and picked up the envelops, three officially sealed and notarized. Soon, I was back at Anderson Ave. I waited outside Arthur’s apartment, the street lights had long since came on by the time I finally saw Arthur coming home. I quickly opened the door and jumped out, calling out to him.

He turned, kind of surprised to see me yet again. I noticed he had his work bag, but quickly stuffed a notebook/journal and a small paper bag into it when he saw me.

I ran into his arms, hugging him tightly. I kissed his cheek, straightened up my curls and took a deep breath, “I have the results,” I was anxious, my hands clammy and sweaty.

His expression went from surprise to… anxious?! I couldn’t exactly tell.

“Where should we open it? With Penny?”

He shook his head.

“Here in the car?” I asked. He nodded and we both went inside. We sat in silence for a long while, out breaths racing with anxiety. I handed it to him and he took it quietly, looking down at it.

“Do you want me to step out?” I asked, noticing his unease.

He shook his head, his pretty eyes on the envelop. He finally opened it, his hands clumsy with anxiety.

His eyes scanned the paper and then suddenly…

He started laughing...

I didn’t know what to make of it at first. I watched him and something was…. Off about it. He looked at the paper again, his hands shaking and… he continued laughing.

“Arthur?” I asked, my eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

His laugh became louder, harder. He had tears in his eyes and I realized then that he wasn’t laughing because of anything funny. And he looked like… like he was in pain?!

“Arthur, are you okay?” I asked, now worried. I lifted my hand and hesitantly reached out and placed it on his forearm.

He continued laughing, quickly pulling away from me and stepping out of the car and closing the door behind him.

I quickly jumped out and followed him, pushing the door closed as fast as I could and following him around the back of the car and into the dark, dirty ally he had gone to hide in.

“Arthur?! Arthur?!?! Are you okay?! Please talk to me,” I ran over towards him. He continued to laugh and I truly didn’t know what was happening. But I did know one thing, I wasn’t going to leave. He should have known that I would never leave him, especially after he was there for me in a way no one else had ever been just the night before.

He shook his head and waved his arms, keeping his back towards me, telling me to go and hiding himself from me as he bent over with laughter. The ally was dark, only colored lights illuminated it from the buildings above, but there was just enough light for me to see that Arthur’s face was now shiny with sweat and tears, drainage from his nose now running down his red face. He stopped for a moment and wiped it with his sleeve just as another fit of laughter overtook him.

The site broke my heart. I ran over, calling his name and following him to the back where there was almost no light and I threw my arms around him. He pushed at me but I held on tightly, squeezing my eyes shut as tears spilled from them. We sank to the wet, dirty pavement together, my back against the wall and a violently laughing Arthur in my arms.

Time passed, I don’t know how much time. Arthur laughed and laughed, his head tucked safely under my chin and his brown curls tickling my skin every time his body heaved with laughter. The paper was crumpled in his shaking fist. I caressed his back and curls comfortingly and just held him as tightly as I could.

He handed me the balled-up papers after a very long time. I took them, sniffling as I uncrumpled them and read.

Probability of Paternity 99.9999…%, they read. My entire body was numb with shock. All of the other genetic explanation didn't matter. Paternity 99%.

Arthur Fleck was Thomas Wayne’s biological son.

“This means that he lied about everything...” Arthur finally spoke, his voice croaky, breaking on the last word.

My heart shattered all over again.

“What do you mean?” I asked, not sure if I should ask questions for fear of starting his laughter all over again.

He sat up slowly, his teary eyes on the ground as he faced me, too ashamed to look up at me. His thick, long, dark lashes coated in tears.

Even then Arthur was so beautiful and I must be crazy for even thinking that in that moment.

He wiped his nose with his sleeve yet again and sniffled, “Mother was in Arkham State Hospital for a long while…”

I had so many questions but decided it was best to just let him talk in that moment.

“I once tried to meet Thomas Wayne… I snuck into one of the events he was having at city hall… I was able to catch him alone in the bathroom… I told him everything and he… he told me that mother had been in Arkham because she was delusional and schizophrenic and… insane… he told me I was adopted… That I wasn't even her son... I thought maybe mom really was… wasn’t in her right mind, maybe she was confused…. Delusional as he called her…” He wiped his nose again, “I went to Arkham and stole her file, everything he said was there… the adoption application, the therapy sessions... the many diagnosis’s... the letter I was going to give him that day wasn’t from mother, it was from me… and apology letter for what I did… for putting him in a situation that could harm his career and… and his family and reputation…”

I covered my mouth as tears spilled from my eyes.

“I just wanted to tell him how sorry I felt for what I did… I just wanted him to know that I was sorry, that’s it Alex because I thought mother was out of her mind and… and these papers say that she isn’t and that what she told me is all true and that… that...” his voice broke again and I hugged him tightly again, as tightly as I could.

“I feel like I’ve lied to you about everything,” he cried against my neck, “But I don’t even know the truth…”

Arthur, these papers say that what Thomas Wayne told you that day was all a lie.

Whatever was in that file in Arkham was all a lie. 

Someone had forged those documents to make sure that this was kept a secret forever.

There is only one, or a few people, who would care to do something like that.

You are Thomas Wayne’s biological son.

And that’s the truth.


	8. ER with Arthur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex begins to see Thomas Wayne's true colors.

I don’t know how long we stayed there or how long it was until we both stepped out of that dark alley across from his apartment, his hand in mine.

I stayed with him that night. He showed me the file that he had taken from Arkham State Hospital and sure enough, adoption papers, news clippings, doctor notes and sessions were documented in a way that made Penny seem… insane and unstable. The adoption papers were official, signed with clear names. 

I recognized several names of the physicians who treated Penny during her time in Arkham.

Arthur told me that during the time Penny was in Arkham he was moved from orphanages to foster homes, never in one place for more than 6 months. He was about 5 when they first came for her and he didn’t see her again for almost 9 years. By that time they didn’t care what happened to him and so they granted her custody of him once again. 

Shortly after, Arthur had had to drop out of school to be able to support himself and Penny.

Uncle Tom had been married at the time he had the affair with Penny that resulted in her pregnancy. Arthur wasn’t even 1 when my aunt and uncle welcomed baby Bruce, meaning Bruce and Arthur were only a few months apart. 

“I don’t know why I wasn’t good enough for him…” Arthur said quietly as he looked down at a newspaper clipping of Thomas Wayne holding baby Bruce, his eyes were sad, the pain behind them was heartbreaking. 

“Arthur, I just want you to know that you will have me at your side, forever, I mean it, forever. I won’t let anyone hurt you anymore,” I promised. I took his face into my hands and kissed his cheek softly before throwing my arms around him and hugging him tightly. “And Arthur, I will never understand that either because you are truly such a beautiful, kind… loving soul and he really has no idea that he turned his back on such an amazing man and son,” I wiped my tears, “his loss Arthur, it’s his loss,” I whispered. 

I held him like that until he fell asleep. Then, I cried for him as I buried my face into his curls. 

***

I didn’t want to leave him the next day, I must have asked if he was alright a million times and then a million times more, but the ever-patient Arthur reassured me as many times as needed that he was okay.

We stood in silence outside the driver’s door of my car. I watched him, my eyes searching his tired, sad face. I lifted my hands and gently placed them on his hollow cheeks. I brushed my thumbs across his skin softly, then his eyes met mine.

“I can’t control it,” he whispered.

“The laughing?” I asked, already knowing what he was talking about.

He nodded in my hands.

“I know,” I replied, “and it doesn’t matter to me,” I lifted up and kissed his cheek softly. 

“It doesn’t?...” he asked, a little surprised. 

“No,” I assured him.

He smiled a little but stopped, still uncertain that I was being honest. 

“I mean it,” I promised, “Now go up and eat something, do your best to get some rest,” he nodded and I hugged him tightly, “I’ll be back later, alright?” I felt him nod again against my shoulder.

I waited outside until he had enough time to check the mail and ride the elevator up, then I called him. He answered the phone after 1 ring, probably just having walked in.

“Hey, it’s me, I just wanted to make sure that you made it up alright. I’ll see you later, okay? Please get some rest,” I replied.

“Okay,” he responded.

There was a long pause, “I love you so much Arthur,” I said after a while.

“I-I love you too, Alex,” he replied.

***

I had no way of knowing that I would be right back only a short few hours later.

I was so angry that I couldn’t stop myself from driving right to uncle Tom’s mansion and marching right inside. Alfred greeted me and told me Bruce wasn’t home.

“Where is uncle Tom?” I asked.

“I suppose he is in his study? Is everything alright Miss Alex?” he asked.

“I just need to talk to him,” I replied and headed up the stairs and right to the large office uncle Tom worked in after hours. I closed the door as I went inside. He was on the phone and looked up, surprised to see me there. He asked the person to hold then greeted me.

“Alex, what brings you here at this time? Is Bruce still out?” he looked at his watch, “I don’t know where he is, but he should be home soon, I’m on a conference call at the moment, do you mind waiting?” he asked.

“I’m not here to see Bruce, but I am here to talk about your other son though, Arthur Fleck, or I suppose he’s Arthur Wayne as well,” I placed the crumpled paper on his desk.

His face went white. He pushed the button and ended the call that was waiting for him.

“Excuse me?” he stuttered. I could see right through him.

“You heard me, uncle Tom, Thomas, Thomas Wayne. I’m here to talk about Arthur, your other son, whom you had with Penny Fleck, and who you have disowned, disregarded, abandoned, forgotten, and humiliated. How could you?! How could you do that to your own SON!” I yelled, unable to keep my anger at bay. I hoped Arthur wouldn’t get angry at me for this, but I couldn’t contain my anger.

He stood up, slamming his hands on the large mahogany desk between us, “EXCUSE ME?” he yelled back.

“Look at the papers! You can’t deny it anymore, LOOK!” I slapped the papers with my hand, “I did this. The blood drive? That’s what it was about, THIS is what it was about! I have proof that you are Arthur Fleck’s biological father and you cannot deny it any longer!”

He stared at me, taking the papers with shaky hands and reading them. He looked back up at me, angrily tearing them to shreds with his hands, “Arthur Fleck was adopted, that woman is insane! They’ve got you all wrapped up in this mess, Alex, you can’t believe this or anything they say,” he warned.

“I wouldn’t believe it uncle Tom, I wouldn’t if I hadn’t gotten this proof MYSELF! How COULD you do this to him?!” I snapped, tears spilling from my eyes, “Arthur is as much your son as Bruce is! Arthur is your SON! He is part of this family! Of OUR family! Arthur isn’t after any money, he isn’t after getting your last name for prestige or fame or wealth, he’s not interested in what he can get from you. He’s worked HARD all of his life to provide for Penny and himself, he’s taken care of her and he’s been a selfless, devoted, hardworking son his entire life and how can it not touch your heart just a little to think that your son has struggled all of his life? That he has had to work long hours, has had to exhaust himself to the point of sickness to afford a place to live?! How does that not touch your cold heart?!” I was sobbing, in tears, unable to hide the anger, frustration, disappointment, and sadness I felt. I realized that I would protect Arthur with my life from that day forward, no matter what it meant, I would protect him as he protected me. I thought about all of the privilege and wealth that Bruce has had his entire life and it broke my heart how different Arthur’s life was from that of his brother’s.

He narrowed his eyes, his expression one of disgust, “Our family?!” he laughed, “OUR family?!”

I stared at him, my chest heaving in anger. “Yes! OUR family! He is part of this family!”

He laughed again, “You want to claim that that low life belongs here, when you don’t even belong here yourself?!”

I could feel my entire body go numb.

“That’s right, you have no right to decide who belongs here and who doesn’t,” he snapped, but I felt that his words held a different meaning.

“Are you saying that I don’t belong here?” I suddenly asked. I couldn’t breathe, it felt like something was crushing my chest.

He paused, pinching the bridge of his nose then running a hand through is hair. He took a deep breath and then looked back up at me, walking around his desk and heading towards me. “No that’s not what I’m saying, I’m sorry I’m just… those people have twisted your mind and I—just forget that, I’m sorry,” I pulled away when he reached for my arm.

“I heard you clearly and I know what you meant,” I was shaking all over. It was like I was in a tunnel and his voice was distant.

“No, Alex, just listen, I—”

I turned then and ran for door. He yelled after me and I could hear his footsteps close behind me.

“ALEX!” he grabbed my arm just as I made it to the top of the stairs. I fought him and his grip tightened, “Listen to me Alex, none of that is true---” I fought until he let go and took off down the large staircase immediately.

I stumbled, tripping and falling on the landing that divided the many steps about half way.

“Alex?” I heard Bruce somewhere. I scrambled to my feet and continued running down the last set of stairs, now limping and with sharp pain in my ankle and wrist.

“Alex?! Alex are you okay?” Bruce and uncle Tom both tried to catch up to me but I ran for the front door, all the way to my car, and then sped off without looking back.

As I drove and cried uncontrollably, my phone must have rang a million times. If fact, it never stopped ringing. Some calls were from Bruce and some from uncle Tom. I hit end call every time, and every time the phone rang again.

I knew where I was going without making the decision officially, and honestly, poor Arthur.

I parked my car outside Anderson Ave and called him, my angel. It rang twice and he answered. I realized he was still up, probably unable to sleep.

“Please come get me,” I begged him, sobbing. I knew I wouldn’t be able to walk.

“Of course Alex,” he replied right away, without hesitation, “where are you?” he asked. Arthur’s voice was so comforting coming from the other end.

“I’m outside,” I wiped my tears with his sweater that I still wore, “I can’t walk” I sniffled.

“I’ll be right down,” he replied. The call disconnected and right away, another call from Bruce came in. I sent him a quick text, telling him I was okay, then turned my phone off. It wasn’t long before the car door opened, it was like Arthur was there within seconds. I threw my arms around him and buried my face against his chest. All I could smell was cigarettes on him.

“Are you hurt?” he asked.

I replied but it came out muffled against his chest. He pulled back and repeated his question. I showed him my ankle and he turned me in the seat so he could inspect it. I sniffled and watched as he held and carefully inspected my ankle, undoing the now very tight strap of my YSL heels and gently removing the shoe. My foot from my ankle down was swollen like a balloon.

“What happened?” he asked, running his cold fingers gently over the swelling.

“I went to uncle Tom’s and--- and I’m so sorry Arthur—I confronted him and—”

“What happened to your ankle?” he cut me off.

“I fell down the stairs—Arthur, I know I shouldn’t have—”

He cut me off again, “I think it’s broken, we need to go to the hospital,” he replied. He scooped me up from the seat and into his arms, then carried me around the car to the passenger’s seat. He opened the door and carefully put me inside.

I was silent as he got into the driver’s seat and started the car. I didn’t know Arthur could drive. I didn’t even know he had a driver’s license.

“Arthur… I’m… I’m really sorry…” I began but he stopped me again.

“Let’s not talk about that right now,” he replied.

I reached over and searched his pockets, finding the cigarette pack I was searching for. I counted the missing ones, 7.

“7…” I said out loud and looked over at him, “Number 1, are you mad at me?”

“No, I am not mad at you Alex” he replied.

"You have to be honest," I reminded him.

"I am being honest," he assured me.

“Are you okay?” I continued.

He nodded.

“Will you do something for me?” I asked.

He looked over curiously, “Yes, and that counts as a question,” he replied, giving me a soft smile.

I couldn’t help but smile back as tears spilled from my eyes, “I want to do another blood test, between me and you.”

He frowned, "Oh... okay," he replied. I was thankful that he didn't ask why right away, as I was already fighting tears.

He took me to the ER at Gotham Medical Center, which thankfully wasn’t too crowded, or as crowded as Gotham General and the other hospitals would probably have been. He carried me inside and we sat side by side in the waiting room. Some people took pictures of us, but I could care less about what that meant in that moment. I used up the rest of my questions and even took a short nap against his shoulder while we waited. 

When they called me back, he carried me to the patient room and we waited again amongst all the ER chaos. The rest was kind of a blur, they x-rayed it, saw that it was broken, another long wait for ortho, then finally they put a cast on it, thankfully I wouldn’t need surgery.

The next morning, Arthur and I were all over the news.


	9. Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex experiences an emotion she has never felt before in her life. The beginning of many.

By the time Arthur and I made it back to his apartment, we only had a few hours to sleep before he had to be up for work. Well, he and I but I had decided I wasn’t going to work that day.

We laid down for the few hours we had, me on his sofa and he on the recliner, and were quiet for a long while. I sat up and peaked over at him, seeing that his eyes were wide open and staring up at the ceiling, deep in thought.  
“Arthur?” I whispered, he looked over.

“Thank you… I know I’ve already said it, but thank you,” I said quietly.

He turned his head to face me, “You don’t have to thank me,” he said, once again, as he always did.

“I know that, but I just… I wish I could express how much it means to me to have you…”

He looked away shyly.

I sat up and pulled my legs up to my chest, hugging them close. There was a long moment of silence between us, “Uncle Tom was very angry…” I couldn’t look up at him, feeling awful about what I did.

“It doesn’t matter Alex,” he replied, “it doesn’t matter anymore…”

“I’m so sorry…” I whispered.

I could feel his eyes on my face and I held my breath as he stood and came over, sitting down beside me. “I-I know you were only trying to help” he replied.

“I feel like I don’t know someone that I’ve known my whole life…” I looked up at him and our eyes met in the darkness.

“It doesn’t have to be that way because of me,” he replied.

Tears spilled from my eyes and I wiped them quickly, “I just can’t overlook that, I just can’t. It’s so unfair and so wrong and so… awful. Arthur, how could he? I just… I hate that this is your father,” more tears spilled and he hugged me. I began to sob and I hated myself for it. This was about him, not about me, and I couldn’t even be the brave one.

“Alex… what happened?” he asked. I continued to sob against his shoulder and wrapped my arms tightly around his thin frame.

He pulled back, taking my face in his cold hands, gently wiping the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.

In that moment, I wanted him to kiss me so badly. I just wanted him to kiss me.

But he didn’t. 

Of course he didn’t.

“What else happened Alex?” he asked again.

He knew there was more and I couldn’t hide that from him. I took a deep breath and it came out weak and trembly.

“I think I might be a-adopted…” I finally replied, the last word catching in my throat.

He frowned, thinking about what I said, “that’s not true,” he replied, “I remember your mother being pregnant, it was all over the news, the entire pregnancy,” he replied.

I shrugged, nonverbally expressing my defeat. I didn't know what to think anymore.

“That’s why you want to do another test?” he asked.

I nodded.

“That can’t be. I remember it, I was little, but I remember,” he assured me, “he just doesn’t want you to say anything about me…”

“I don’t know Arthur,” I snuffled, “I know he doesn’t want me to say anything but… I just I have this feeling and I have to know.”

He nodded in understanding, “Anything for you, Alex.” 

I nodded and he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.

***  
I must have slept at some point, by the time I woke up, he had left for work.

I enjoyed the day with Penny. We made a light breakfast, she spent a few hours teaching me how to knit, we ended up taking a nap while watching an old show on TV and towards the end of the day, I convinced her to come with me to a nearby farmers market for a little walking and shopping. It wasn’t exactly easy with a cast but I made it work. We got some fresh veggies and fruits to make for dinner and dessert for when Arthur came home.

We were paying for some potatoes, and as I was digging through my purse for some cash, I noticed the newspaper stand. Plastered front and center on the first page was a big picture of Arthur and I walking out of the hospital, and then several of us getting into my car, him carrying me inside...

The headline read, “Alexandria Wayne’s ER Visit with her New Love.”

I felt my heart stop in panic. I quickly handed the man the cash and thankfully Penny didn’t notice the papers.

I couldn’t think of anything else as we cooked. I burned myself two times, almost broke one of Penny’s beautiful serving bowls, and finally stuck to the simple tasks.

I hoped Arthur hadn’t seen the papers and headlines. I didn’t want that awful part of my life to affect him, more than it was probably going to soon.

However, I was in for a little surprise when he arrived.

I heard the keys and went to greet him, my heart skipping with excitement to finally see him after what felt like a long day without him. When the door opened, I was about to throw my arms around him and squeeze him into a tight hug until I saw a familiar face behind him. Well, familiar but not exactly someone I knew.

“Hi, good afternoon,” said Sophie, Arthur’s neighbor and ‘love interest’. With her was her daughter, who repeated exactly what her mother had said.

Arthur hadn’t bothered to change into his normal clothes, so he still wore Carnival’s clown attire, but he looked exhausted from a night of no sleep and a full day of work. He, as usual, had residue of white greasepaint under his chin and around his nose.

“Alex,” Arthur smiled, and this time it was him that hugged me, but it was a half hug, not like the ones I gave him. Certainly not followed by a kiss on the cheek. He also greeted and hugged his mother. 

Penny did get a kiss on the cheek.

“Happy, you’re home!” Penny beamed excitedly. I kind of stood back as Sophie and her daughter Gigi greeted Penny. I shouldn’t be surprised that they knew each other, they were neighbors, after all.

It was the first time I felt out of place… like an outsider in Arthur’s home.

“I was just asking Arthur about the news headlines,” Sophie said, looking over at me.

“Oh…” I commented.

“I thought I had seen you around here, I wasn’t completely sure but when I saw the headlines, I knew it was you! And I just had to know,” Sophie continued, “Arthur says it’s false news. I mean, everyone knows you’re with Richard Stevens.”

“It’s false news.” I replied. Of course she had to mention Rich. Of course she did. I didn't want to hate her because I had no reason to but mentioning Rich was pushing it.

Or... did I? Did I already hate Sophie?!

Alex, stop being like this, I warned myself. Stop being like this.

“Well… hopefully it gets cleared up,” Sophie continued.

“So you aren’t in love with Mr. Arthur?” Gigi asked me.

I could feel my face turn red, “Arthur is a close friend,” I replied, forcing a soft smile. She was a child, I couldn’t be upset with her.

“Gigi,” Sophie warned her, giving her a look.

“I invited Sophie for dinner,” Arthur informed both Penny and I, changing the subject.

My heart dropped to my stomach. 

“Wonderful!” Penny smiled, leading Sophie and Gigi the table. Sophie smiled, thanking Arthur once again for the invite. Penny and I had already set the table and everything was ready for Arthur… and his guests.

“That’s great, we’ll have a big dinner tonight, Alex made cheesecake,” Penny replied, “we went to the farmer’s market and got everything fresh.”

I instantly decided I couldn’t do this. I just couldn’t.

“I apologize, I won’t be able to stay. Arthur, I just wanted to thank you once again for taking me to the hospital yesterday, I hate that this whole situation was blown out of proportion, but I think they will forget about it soon. 

Please forgive me, something came up and I must tend to it,” I quickly began to collect my things.

“You aren’t staying for dinner?” he asked, coming over.

“You can’t stay even for a little while?” Penny asked.

“I’m so sorry, I really can’t,” I apologized.

“Stay, just a little while…” I hated how much his soft, raspy voice tugged at my heartstrings.

When he looked at me with those eyes and pleaded with that voice, I couldn’t say no. And so I sat through an awkward, awful dinner with the girl I knew Arthur had a thing for and her daughter. 

Sophie was gorgeous. Even in casual clothing and light makeup, she was gorgeous. I watched as Arthur’s eyes twinkled with awe when she laughed and smiled and I could feel myself slowly dying inside. 

She was outgoing, full of life and stories. She carried the conversation. 

I felt Arthur look over at me several times, probably wondering why I was so quiet, but then Sophie would pull him back in and he would forget I was even there.

I couldn’t understand this feeling. Maybe it was the same feeling I had gotten when I was younger and Bruce had gotten his first girlfriend. That ‘I’m losing my best friend’ feeling. 

Somehow it felt like more. And it crushed me.


	10. Night out in the City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex begins to deal with the consequences of her feelings.
> 
> *I had this idea and added this chapter! I hope you all enjoy it!*

I had finished dinner with them and had left early that night, feeling like my entire soul was drained of life. 

I wanted to be happy for Arthur, I mean, I myself had told him to ask her out… and I hated myself for being selfish because I honestly could not find it in me to be happy for him.

He called me several times the following morning but I ignored his calls. 

Why? I don’t know. 

I guess I was a little upset with him.

Why? I don’t know. 

I had had a long, awful day at university, but currently, I was sitting by myself outside of the hospital. I worked up the courage, collected myself, and headed inside.

“You look terrible, I’m sorry to tell you that Alex,” Ashley greeted me with a big warm hug, “how’s the foot?”

“Still broken,” I mumbled. She had long since seen her last patient for the day and was just finishing paperwork at her office. She agreed to run several more tests for me. One between my father and I, another between my mother and I, and lastly… one between Arthur and I.

“I’m not even going to ask what all of this is about, but, I am going to ask if you’re okay,” she said as we sat down in her office. Some of the lights were now off and it was kind of dark.

“I honestly don’t know how to answer that because… these past few days have been a mess,” I replied.

She just looked at me and I knew what she was thinking, ‘I told you so’. But she was the kind of friend that knew when those words weren’t appropriate.

“Did you send the tests?” I asked.

She nodded, “It’s going to be a few days,” she reminded me.

I nodded, “Thank you, I promise to leave you completely out of this, I don’t want to cause problems between your parents and mine.”

We sat in silence for a while, “Ashley… I messed up…” I suddenly whispered.

“A lot,” she agreed.

I looked over at her, “I didn’t mean for this to happen…”

“Just to clarify, you are talking about Arthur, right?” she asked.

I nodded.

“No sense in regretting what already is. Now you have to face the consequences.”

I looked over at her again, “Wait, it’s not like that,” I warned, “the headlines are all lies, Arthur and I aren’t dating, I’m not cheating on Rich, that’s all lies.”

“But you like Arthur…” she replied.

“Of course, he has become one of my closest friends,” I replied.

She gave me a look, knowing that was all lies too.

I lowered my gaze and buried my face in my hands.

“THAT is what I was trying to warn you about. I could see it the moment I saw how you looked at him. That’s what I mean when I say what is done is done, you gave yourself enough time with him to fall even more, there’s no going back. But now that you know your feelings, you have GOT to stay away from him. Richard has been looking for you like crazy. He is LIVID, Alex. This isn’t a game! He’s currently the butt of all jokes and he is understandably angry.” She snapped.

I sighed, “I know! I know!” I held my hands up to stop her, “I am going to clarify this mess and put it behind me.”

She thankfully didn’t ask about the DNA testing between me and Arthur, that was another entire mess.

***  
I couldn’t think about anything else the rest of the day. 

I avoided everyone’s calls, especially Arthur’s. 

I did the only thing I knew to do when you feel like shit and like the world is collapsing around you. I called up my toxic friends and invited them out to the club that night. 

The sun had set long before we finally arrived. Of course, the paparazzi snapped pictures of us as we went in, and I just remember asking for several shots as soon as we arrived. And we took shots until I could no longer remember any of my problems. 

***

He had been waiting by the phone all night. 

He had long since put Penny to bed, but he could not sleep.

That was usual, but tonight it was for a different reason.

He hadn’t spoken with Alex since she had left the night before and that was frightening.

He missed her.

She always called him.

She had become such a big part of his life in such little time and today, tonight, he hadn’t heard from her and he was petrified. 

She finally realized he was a waste of her time.

She finally realized he wasn’t worth her attention.

He was alone again.

She had abandoned him.

He tried not to think those things but it was impossible.

“No, she’s different,” he whispered to himself as he stood in the kitchen alone by the phone. The only light came from the TV behind him, bathing him in an electric bluish light that only reflected the blue and emptiness he felt inside. “She’s different. She cares about me. She’s different. Alex is different.” He repeated, over and over again.

Suddenly the phone rang.

His heart raced as he quickly answered, “Hello? Alex?!” he asked quickly. 

Alex was the only one who ever called the line.

“Hi? Arthur? Arthur Fleck?” 

It was a woman’s voice he did not recognize.

“Yes?!” He asked back, unsure of how to respond.

“Arthur, I’m here with Alex, Alexandria Wayne?—”

“Alex?! Is she okay?! Is Alex okay?!” He began to panic, his eyes wide and his hand clasping the phone for dear life.

“Well, yes, but she’s black out drunk at the moment. She told us to call you several times?”

“Drunk?” he asked, that didn’t sound like Alex…

“Yeah, I guess she wanted you to come and get her?”

He found himself back on the subway just minutes later, heading downtown to where the girl said Alex was waiting for him.

When he arrived, he searched and searched until he found a group of girls waiting outside on the street near the corner of the massive building. 

He didn’t see her at first because they were standing in front of her, but when one of them stepped out of the way, there she was, kind of sitting sideways on the dirty sidewalk, her eyes closed as she slept, the side of her face resting against the cement building.

He ran over to her, quickly dropping to his knees and taking her face in his hands. She was freezing cold. Alex was always warm.

“Are you Arthur?” One of the girls asked.

“Yes,” he replied, quickly removing his jacket and placing it around Alex’s shoulders. 

“Okay good. She drove us here and clearly she can’t take us home.” One of the girls replied. 

He picked her up carefully, scooping her up into his arms and lifting her off that dirty sidewalk. “Arthur…” she mumbled, instantly nestling against him. She was completely limp, but sighed deeply as she relaxed in his arms. She usually smelled of freshness and flowers, but tonight she smelled of pure alcohol.  
“I think we should take her to the hospital…” he said as he looked into her face.

“Naw, she’s already thrown up half of it,” one of the girls replied.

He waited with the girls as the valet brought Alex’s white Mercedes, pulling the hood of his jacket over her head to cover her face from the paparazzi. Then, he was honored the task of driving each of them home, but not before having to stop for tacos. 

He got all kinds of questions from the drunk girls. Who was he? How did he know Alex? Did they have a thing going on? Were his curls real? Was he married? Was he up for an orgy? Did he want a taco?

He was glad when he dropped the last one off and then it was just him and Alex. She had hardly stirred the entire drive, only woke up once to say it was too cold. He had taken that one opportunity to ask if she needed to go to the hospital. Of course, she frowned and shook her head, going right back to sleep.

He parked where she usually always parked outside of his apartment building. Then he looked over at her as she slept in the passenger’s seat. She had grabbed a fistful of his sweater near the waistband of his trousers in her hand the entire drive and any time she felt movement, she would tighten her grip. 

Now, needing to get out of the car to take her up, he gently tried to pry her hand loose but she frowned and gripped tighter, “Don’t leave me,” she mumbled. 

“I’m not leaving you, I would never leave you Alex…” he promised, finally getting her to let go. 

He carried her up quietly, it was near morning by that time he placed her on the sofa and removed her shoe.

“I have to take a shower,” She mumbled, half asleep.

“Try to sleep for a little while,” he replied.

“No…” she made a face, “I threw up somewhere,” she pushed herself up from the sofa, swaying as she used her fist to push her hair away from her face.

He quickly reached up and combed her messy blonde locks away from her face, “It’s alright, your clothes are clean, you need to get some sleep Alex,” he tried to coax her to lay back down.

“I need a shower,” she mumbled again, then used his shoulder to push herself up. 

“Alex—” he followed her and steadied her when she lost her balance several times, “Alex, just wait until morning…” he continued trying to convince her, already knowing where this was going. 

What should he do? Call someone to help her? But who?! The only person he knew was Sophie… should he call Sophie?!

“Alex… do you want me to call Sophie? She can hel—”

“Oh Sophie!” she suddenly snapped, turning to face him, “Sophie Sophie Sophie! You and Sophie! Oh my god!” She snapped, “I literally do not want to talk about her!” 

They were now in the bathroom and standing in front of the vanity. He was speechless, all he could do was stare at her, not knowing what to say.

She rolled her eyes and then… then she began to undress. 

He hesitated, standing close to the door, looking away and trying to decide what to do. 

He diverted his eyes as she pulled her dress down and tried to step out of it, then quickly caught her again before she could fall back and hit her head on the bathtub.

He held her almost naked body in his arms, her skin was warm and soft… like silk…

He desperately tried to not think about what he had been trying not to think about for a long while now… what he had been trying so hard to repress… the feelings he was trying to kill before he lost his only friend because of them.

He looked away again as she removed her strapless bra while he was still holding her in his arms.

Then swallowed thickly when he felt her stumble and her breasts pressed against his chest. 

Slowly and hesitantly, he looked back at her, holding his breath when he found her big, crystal blue eyes looking up at him.

He looked away again when he saw her hands lift to the band of her panties and he felt her shift in his arms as she pulled them down her hips. 

His heart began to pound harder, his body betrayed him and he quickly adjusted away from her so she wouldn’t feel it. 

Then, as if all of that wasn’t torture enough, he had to help her sit on the edge of the tub and had to finish removing her panties from her legs.

He did all he could to be respectful and keep his eyes from wandering, but it was difficult, which only made him feel worse. He quickly started the water and filled the tub with bubbles. 

“You don’t even feel anything when you look at me, do you?” she mumbled sadly.

He ignored her question, mainly because he didn’t want to lie to her. That was far from the truth, she had no idea how deeply he felt for her. 

The tub was still filling when he lifted her and gently placed her inside, making sure to keep her cast out of the water. 

She quickly grabbed his sweater by the collar and pulled him close, half sleeping again at this point as she rested her chin on the edge of the bathtub. He did the same, only shifting to reach the knobs to stop the water when the tub was full. He rested his chin on his forearm and admired the beauty before him, but only her beautiful face and nothing more. He took the opportunity to lightly run his fingertips down her jaw, down the perfect bridge of her small nose, very light over her bottom lip… she was so, so beautiful… 

Her eyes slowly fluttered closed as he did that, but after a few minutes she looked back up into his eyes and then suddenly she lifted up and kissed him on the lips.

It was impossible to not kiss her back. Impossible.


	11. Rich's Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worlds begin to collide and Alex finds herself stuck in the middle.

But that was it. 

He found the strength to pull away. No idea where but he found it.

She slept as he washed and rinsed her hair, then fought with her as he tried to wash the makeup from her face. Bathing her was another story, having to hold her casted leg under his arm to prevent her from putting it in the water and also keeping her from slipping underneath the surface left him completely soaked. He struggled with her to get her to finally come out of the bathtub as she kept trying to turn the water back on to fill the tub back up. 

The sun was up by the time he finally got her back into the sofa, dried, cozy in his pajamas, and under a warm blanket. 

She woke up throwing up a few hours later, and slept in the bathroom by the commode most of the day. 

“Oh god…” she mumbled. He had made her a makeshift bed beside the toilet since she refused to leave the bathroom. She was currently curled up in a ball. “I kissed you, didn’t I?...” she suddenly said.

He looked over at her.

“I’m sorry Arthur… we don’t have to make it weird. My fault. My mistake. I promise we don’t have to make it weird.”

Mistake?...

He just nodded.

Her eyes looked between his in silence for a while. He tried not to show his disappointment. 

“And sorry about last night, it was awful, I am so sorry… for everything… again, we don’t have to make it weird…”

He nodded again, looking down at his hands. 

Crushing disappointment washed over him.

“Thank you for being there for me…” she whispered.

Again, he nodded. 

***  
On my way home, I finally turned my phone on and called Richard. He was furious. I listened to a rain of insults and derogatory comments and because I was near my breaking point, I apologized to him. I was in tears the rest of the way home, and thankfully he was out with ‘friends’ that night and would not be bothering me. However, he promised to come over for a talk first thing in the morning.

Again, I avoided Arthur's calls.

I cried and cried. Thinking about the little I remembered from the night before. I hated myself for what I did... I clearly, very clearly remembered kissing Arthur. Undressing in front of him... completely undressing in front of him! Why? WHY had I done that?! WHY?! He must have felt awful. Why had I put him through something like that?! He would never do that to me and I had done that to him...

I felt awful. I felt worse than I had ever felt before.

Arriving home was like an out of body experience. I listened to my parent’s anger and disappointment for another hour. I wasn’t sure if Thomas had talked to them about our discussion or if they were just going to pretend that it hadn’t happened. They didn’t even mention or acknowledge the cast on my foot.

I showered again, well, I sat in the tub with the water raining over me, my casted leg sticking out, for another hour, or more. At that moment I couldn’t be sure anymore. I just wanted to be able to cry in peace. 

I ignored several more calls from Arthur.

The next morning I had the worst argument that I had ever had with Rich. My word that nothing had happened between the man in the papers and I was nothing to him. He was convinced that I was fucking Arthur Fleck no matter how many times I promised him that I wasn’t. I made the mistake of telling him that Arthur even had a love interest, a beautiful woman who was also his neighbor.

I say it was a big mistake because he got a brilliant idea. A triple date, me and him, Bruce and the girl he was seeing this week, and Arthur and his love interest.

I practically begged him on my knees not to do this to me, but of course, if it tortures me, he is all for it. I watched as he called Bruce up for the double date. He even told him that it was my idea. I could hear Bruce’s surprise, and swallowed a lump in my throat when Rich handed me the phone.

“Alex? Why haven’t you answered my calls? I went to see you multiple times and you were never home? Now you want to do a double date?” Bruce asked. Understandably, he sounded worried. I did sound like a train wreck.

I looked up and Rich gave me a threatening glare. I cleared my throat, “Um… I know, I’ve just been… busy…”

“With the guy in the papers?” Bruce asked.

I placed a hand to my forehead, feeling faint, “Bruce… it’s not what the papers say, that guy is a friend that I met a few weeks ago…” Rich made a hand gesture and I understood it right away, “I… I’m even going to invite him to our dinner… him and t-this girl he likes…”

There was a long pause and I looked up at Rich, both of us waiting.

“Can I see you today? I just get the feeling you aren’t in your right mind,” Bruce replied after a while, “I think we need to talk in private.”

Rich shook his head, taking the phone from me, “Dude, you’ll see her tonight, it will be fun, I think we’ve all had a stressful few days. Let's met up, we can both meet this Arthur guy, and relax a little. I’m curious as to who he is too, of course. The papers are saying my girl is having an affair with him,” he laughed, but he was glaring at me.

I felt sick to my stomach. My hands were cold and clammy.

“Sure, I’ll be there. At your parent’s place near central?” he asked.

“Yes bro, see you there,” Rich replied. He ended the call and then jerked my purse from my arm. I watched as he dug through it, throwing my things to the floor carelessly. He found my phone and tossed my purse aside, then pushed the phone to my chest, “Now, call him,” he ordered.

“I haven’t talked to him Rich, I actually decided to stop talking to him after those headlines because I didn’t want you to be even more angry and—”

“CALL HIM!” he yelled, becoming impatient.

“Rich, really,” I tried to be as calm as I could, “I haven’t spoken to him---”

“CALL. HIM!” he snapped his fingers.

“He probably isn’t home… he doesn’t get in until late usually…” I replied.

“If I have to tell you to call him one more time…” he warned.

I took the phone with trembling hands and searched for Arthur’s number. I prayed to the gods that he wasn’t home, as he never was at this time of day.

I almost threw up when the phone rang a few times and I heard his voice.

WHY WAS HE HOME AT THIS TIME?!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!

“H-Hi… Arthur it’s A-Alex…” I closed my eyes and placed my other cold, clammy hand to my cheek.

“Alex? How are you feeling? I've been worried about you all day you, i've been trying to call you--”

Instantly, tears began to spill from my eyes. I forced a smile, hoping it would translate to my voice somehow, “Yeah, yes, of course, much better, i'm fine. You know, the girls were really impressed with you, they wanted me to thank you for driving them home too... I did try to call you back um… earlier but no one was home I think…" I lied, "I’m sorry, I meant to call you and tell you that i'm much better but i've been so busy... Then those awful headlines… I must say that Rich wasn’t happy,” I wiped my tears and tried my best not to sound like I felt.

“Are you sure you are okay?” he asked quietly, “I am sorry… this is all my fault. You are my only friend and I don’t want to lose you—”

I covered my sobs with my hand as I listened to him, then worked up the courage to cut him off, “It’s not your fault, but hey, I’m actually calling because Bruce, Rich, me, and a friend of Bruce’s are all going to have dinner tonight, I wanted to invite you and Sophie,” I finally managed to get out.

There was a long pause, “Me and Sophie?”

“Yes…” I replied.

“…For dinner?”

“Yes…” I replied again.

“You will be there?”

“Yes Arthur, and Rich, another girl, and Bruce…” I felt another wave of nausea and lightheadedness.

“But I haven’t talked to Sophie since she came over for dinner the other day…”

“Just ask her, tell her it’s my invite if that's easier. I think she would be happy to come with you,” I replied. Saying that stung. It hurt in a way I wasn’t ready for.

“… Okay” he replied, “… will I get to see you?”

“Yes, it will be fun, we’ll all be there,” I wiped the fresh tears from my face.

“… Okay,” he replied.

I gave him the address and a quick goodbye before hanging up.

Now for the worst night of my life.


	12. The Disaster Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The princess, the model, the beauty, two playboy billionaires, and Carnival the Clown all sit down for a disaster dinner.

All I could do was stare at myself in the mirror as they transformed me into a doll for the night.

I felt numb. I was terrified. I couldn’t understand how things has gotten this out of hand. Until a few days ago, it was just Arthur and me. This life hadn’t caught up to me, it was him and I, just… just being.

Of course, I couldn’t wear my usual heels because of the cast, and I watched as the stylists struggled to find something that still fit their idea for the look tonight. I didn’t protest or care, just wore what they decided.

I sat by the window as I waited for Rich. Behind me, the stylists picked out my coat for the evening, the purse I would carry… all I could think about was the fact that Bruce, Arthur, AND Richard would all be in the same room.

I can’t imagine what that meant for Arthur, meeting his brother for the first time. Was he excited? Was he scared? Was he nervous?!

I felt the tension sit in when Rich walked into my room just as they were finishing up with me.

“Wow. All dressed up for me?” He asked, he pulled me into his arms and gave me a big, nasty kiss on the lips. “Beautiful,” he grinned. I felt sick to my stomach.

He rambled the entire drive to the penthouse, and most everything he said was an insult to Arthur. “This Arthur guy, he looks poor. Is he poor? You’re into that now?” he sped through a stop light, but even if the police saw it, they knew his cars well and never stopped him.

The sun was setting across Gotham, and the city lights were coming alive, yet the sky was still slightly illuminated from the setting sun. The view from the penthouse would no doubt be gorgeous. I wished I could be there alone with Arthur…

I ignored his question.

“You’re after a cheap little boy toy?” he pressed, laughing.

God. I hated him.

“Arthur is a friend,” I snapped.

“So he is poor, how did security even let him near you? Well, I should get some kind of award or something, I’m feeding the poor tonight.”

I knew this evening would end badly, I just hoped it didn’t end as badly as I felt it would.

When we arrived, I excused myself to the bathroom to avoid waiting alone with Rich. After a few minutes in there, I heard voices and knew that someone else had arrived. Afraid it was Arthur, I hurried out and was met with Bruce and a French model named Iza. Gorgeous woman, for sure. Bruce only had the most beautiful women.

Bruce pulled me into a tight hug, allowed me just enough time to introduce myself to Iza, then pulled me aside as Rich and Iza talked next to the massive wall length window that overlooked Gotham.

“Where have you been these past few weeks? Have you been avoiding me? What’s with this scandal in the papers? Who is this Arthur Fleck?!” he snapped.

I closed my eyes and placed a hand over my forehead, “B, I haven’t been avoiding you, I’ve just… I’ve been busy and—”

“Busy?! You have never been too busy for me! Don’t give me that bullshit. You completely forgot about our dinner and movie plans and since then, you haven’t even reached out to say hello. What is going on?”

“B…” I sighed, but right as I was going to speak again, the doorbell rang.

I ran to open it, but Bruce caught my arm and stopped me, “I want some answers, Alex,” he persisted.

“Yes, we’ll talk, but right now isn’t the time, B, I promise we will talk,” I pulled my arm from his grasp and ran for the door, but Rich had beat me there and so I stood beside him as he opened it.

There he was, Arthur. Sweet, gentle, kind Arthur. My angel Arthur. I just wanted to throw myself into his arms and stay there forever.

Oh and Sophie was with him. Who by the way, looked like she belonged next to the French model. She was stunning in an all black dress.

“Heyyyy,” Rich’s evil grin instantly emerged when he saw Arthur.

I wished I could protect him from this mess.

“H-Hi, thank you for the invite, we’ve brought some w-wine...” he offered the bottle to Rich, nervously pushing his curls away from his face. How precious was he? I hated that my mind could only think about that in that moment.

Rich frowned and looked down at as if he was being handed a dead rat, he didn’t move to take it so I did, “Thank you, both of you, that’s sweet of you,” I smiled, “thanks for coming, come on in. Sophie, good to see you again, you look beautiful,” I motioned for them to come in.

She thanked us and walked in confidently, I would too if I looked like her. 

Arthur… Arthur was much more uneasy. He followed her in and Rich closed the door, a little too loudly, threateningly. Arthur looked over at me and I wasn’t sure if he was kind of expecting the same greeting I always gave him, the hug and kiss…

“So you’re the one having an affair with my fiancé?” Rich asked.

My heart instantly began to race.

Arthur began to laugh nervously, and I realized it was the beginning of the laugh he couldn’t control.

“That’s right,” I began to laugh with him, “Aren’t we just out there having a big affair, Arthur?” when he looked over at me, I tried to give him the most comforting look I could, then quickly changed the subject. “Sophie, Arthur, you all have GOT to see this view!” I took both of their hands and pulled them over to the large window. There, they met Iza and Bruce, who had both been watching us at the door.

“Hello, nice to meet you,” Iza spoke in her gorgeous French accent, shaking hands with both Arthur and Sophie.

Bruce gave Arthur a nod, “Bruce, nice to meet you,” his look was stern and cold, his introduction short and distant. I could see the disappointment in Arthur’s eyes and it completely broke my heart. Bruce gave Sophie a warm smile, took her hand, and placed a kiss on the back of it, “Pleasure to meet you, Bruce Wayne,” he said to her.

She smiled shyly, “Nice to meet you, Bruce.” Bruce had a way of making girls melt, Sophie was no different, but when he released her hand, she went right back to Arthur and laced her arm around his.

To say that seeing them like that was hard is an understatement. Seeing her on his arm made the pit of my stomach ache to the point I felt sick. Did that mean things were moving along between them?

I should be happy for him, right?...

“You can see the Gotham Theater and Opera House from here,” Arthur pointed out. The city lights reflected on his beautiful green eyes, and seeing places he recognized and loved brightened his handsome face for a moment.

“It’s kind of pricey for you, isn’t it?” Rich asked.

I couldn’t stop myself from speaking, protecting Arthur was instinct, “It’s definitely overpriced. But not everyone is privileged enough to get tickets just because their father and the owner are childhood friends, Rich.” I replied, “but Arthur is a performer, I bet he will be performing there one day.”

Even Arthur was shocked at my comment.

Rich and Bruce both laughed, “You have to be one of the best then, because only the best perform there,” Rich’s comments were getting more and more insulting by the minute.

“What kind of performer are you? “Bruce asked.

“R-right now I work as a p-party clown but--”

“A party clown?” Bruce frowned, then he and Rich laughed again.

“Okay, enough,” I snapped, “Arthur has had to work every single day of his life, he didn’t get things handed to him by mommy and daddy,” I snapped at them. This made both Sophie and Iza giggle, “You two don’t know what it’s like to have to put aside a hobby to support yourself and your family.”

The offended, angry look both Rich and Bruce got was enough to make me smile proudly.

“Geez, it’s a joke,” Bruce rolled his eyes and took a drink of his wine.

I could see how nervous Arthur was, so I kept talking, “He’s aaaamazing, by the way, I’ve seen him dance,” I added.

“You seem to know a lot about art suddenly, for a business major,” Rich narrowed his eyes, “I didn’t know you were into that.” He came over and put an arm around my waist, his hand lower than I would have liked. He leaned down to kiss me but I turned away and he kissed my cheek instead, “I should take you out to the theater more often.”

“Well, because I’m a business major I have to know about area and region marketing. A big part of business is scouting out projects or potential areas of business that will be profitable and successful, deciding if there’s a good market for it, and also finding the best way to build a successful business around it.”

“You think there’s a market for what I do?” Arthur asked, genuinely surprised and curious.

“No doubt about it,” I assured him, “Honestly, I have a school project coming up and had been thinking about making it entertainment related.” I hadn’t realized I had been thinking or even planning to make my project essentially about Arthur. 

Suddenly, business modeling didn’t seem so boring anymore. “I can show you the progress and finished project, I haven’t started it yet, but I will soon,” I offered.

“No one cares about that,” Rich laughed, “Everyone cares about money, and in Gotham, the money’s in politics and anything related to it.”

“People care about entertainment, don’t say that, you are mistaken,” Iza frowned. As a model, she knew the entertainment business and I was thankful for her being here tonight.

“Exactly,” I smiled, crossing my arms.

Arthur’s eyes were twinkling, and he had a soft smile on his face.

“I have you watch you perform now,” Sophie smiled at Arthur. My smile fell instantly.

“Shall we begin dinner?” Bruce asked, not liking how the conversation had been about Arthur up until now. I didn’t understand what he had against Arthur. He had no reason to be this way towards him. I hated that he couldn’t behave and be kind and welcoming. If only he knew the truth about Arthur…

The table was set out on the balcony, the sight was truly beautiful as the sun was almost gone, the air was cool, and the city lights illuminated the table.

I watched Arthur as he awkwardly took a seat, Sophie sitting next to him, then as he looked around nervously, his big, wondering, and curious eyes finally landing on Bruce. He watched Bruce with wonder, I observed as he corrected his posture to try and match Bruce’s. I wished I could hug him and tell him how special and amazing he was without having to be anything but himself. How beautiful he was just as Arthur Fleck.

The conversation picked up and thankfully it was a safe topic, Iza’s upcoming modeling gigs. Sophie was curious about how she had gotten in the business as Gigi had voiced interest in modeling. I decided that staying quiet was my best bet, and so I served my plate quietly and ate in silence. 

I also did my best to avoid seeing Sophie’s affections towards Arthur. There was no doubt as of today that she liked him. I couldn’t bring myself to watch that happen before my eyes.

“Maybe get some advice from Alex, she’s the new expert,” Bruce suddenly said.

They all looked over at me, “Um, on what? I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening,” I replied.

“On this whole entertainment stuff,” he teased, but I knew he was rounding back to that conversation and I loathed him for it in that moment. “Or Arthur, our great artist,” he and Rich both laughed.

“Oh come on, what is with you? Leave the guy alone,” Iza shoved Bruce playfully. She didn’t quite realize that the situation was slowly, but surely, escalating.

“The clown that’s going to make it to Gotham Theater,” Rich laughed.

Sophie looked between them, her eyes narrow. She realized they were making fun of Arthur. 

“Okay… please, let’s just have a nice, pleasant dinner, Arthur is a guest in this home, I think you both should be more courteous and welcoming. Stop being this way,” I snapped at both Rich and Bruce. “Arthur, I’m so sorry, these two are being jerks but they literally don’t know how else to be,” I apologized.

“How else to be? Wouldn’t you be a jerk to the piece of shit that’s messing with your girl?” Rich snapped.

That’s when Arthur’s laugh began. I could see the panic in his eyes as he covered his mouth to try and stop the laughter.

“He’s laughing,” Rich snapped in angry amusement, it was obvious that he was getting pissed, “What’s so fucking funny, huh, clown?!” He smacked the plate and wine glass that was in front of Arthur off the table and they flew across the balcony, shattering as they crashed onto the floor.

“Yeah, I think we would all like to know what the fuck you’re laughing at?” Bruce snapped.

“Okay, stop it!” I snapped, jumping from my chair and running over to Arthur, “Here, come with me,” I gently took his hands.

Iza and Sophie were watching everything unfold in understandable confusion.

“NO, NO! YOU AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE!” Rich jumped up suddenly, his chair and plates falling to the floor and shattering as he ran over and pushed me aside. 

I fell on my ass, screaming for Rich to calm down as he grabbed Arthur by the collar and pulled him out of the chair. “WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING LAUGHING AT?! AT THE FACT THAT YOU FUCKED MY FIANCE?! YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO GET AWAY WITH IT?!” he yelled in Arthur’s face.

“No!—No!—I’m—No!--” Arthur replied in between fits of laughter.

Bruce jumped up and ran over to pick me up from the floor, I yelled at him to leave me alone, trying to shove him off. I didn’t want him to even look at me in that moment. Iza and Sophie jumped up from the table, screaming as they ran inside and away from all the chaos.

Arthur couldn’t control his laughter, and that only angered Rich even more, I screamed as he began punching Arthur, yelling all kinds of insults and accusations about me and him at the top of his lungs. Arthur was laughing so hard that he wasn't able to defend himself, which Rich took full advantage of.

“STOP IT! RICH STOP!” I yelled, fighting Bruce. I turned to him then, “STOP HIM! PLEASE STOP HIM!” I begged for his help, screaming and struggling against him.

Bruce pulled me into his arms, “It’s okay, I got you,” he whispered, “I got you—”

I fought and fought against Bruce when I realized he wasn’t going to lift a finger to help Arthur. I kicked and elbowed until I managed to slap him in the face. He stumbled back and I broke free, taking the moment to charge towards Rich, shoving him forward. He fell, taking Arthur and I down with him. As soon as we hit the floor, I crawled over to Arthur, using my body to protect him.

“Don’t you DARE touch him again! Don’t you DARE!” I yelled at Rich.

Rich stood, reached down, grabbed my arm, and yanked me away from Arthur.

This set Bruce off. Making this mess an even BIGGER mess.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Bruce ran over, shoving Rich backwards. I took the opportunity and ran back over to Arthur. He was laughing uncontrollably, tears coating his long lashes, his face red from straining and laughing so hard. He gasped for air in between the fits of laughter. His nose was pouring blood and one of his eyes was already swollen shut.

“Arthur, let’s go, come on,” I tried to pull him inside and he fought me, watching Bruce and Rich fight, almost like he wanted to stop them. “ARTHUR LETS GO!” I snapped, when he didn’t let me take him inside, I did the only thing I could do.

“HELP! HELP!” I yelled to Iza and Sophie, “CALL THE POLICE!”

Iza ran to find a phone, Sophie met me half way and helped me pull Arthur inside and away from the fight. If they caught sight of him, I knew they would BOTH turn on him and I don’t know what I would do then.

I heard a frantic Iza on the phone somewhere, Sophie stood back as I continued to pull Arthur away from the fight, out of the living room, down the corridor, and into the bathroom. I locked it behind us. It was strange how quiet it was in the bathroom, except for Arthur’s laughter. I was shaking all over, visibly shaking. I ran my cold, clammy, trembling hands through my hair then looked up at Arthur who was still trying to control his laughter. 

Blood ran from his nose and mouth, down his chin and throat.

"He-- hurt--hurt you-- he hurt--" he gasped in between laughter.

"No, i'm okay, i'm not hurt," I promised him.

"He hurt-- he--" the visible pain he was in as he tried to talk broke my heart. And it broke even more knowing that he was worried about me, in all of this mess, he was worried about ME.

I didn't deserve Arthur Fleck.

I threw my arms around his shoulders and hugged him as tightly as I could. His body heaved from laughter in my arms and I cupped his head in my hand, smoothing the soft brown curls comfortingly. He buried his tear stained, bloody face against my neck and muffled his laughter against my skin. I closed my eyes and squeezed him even tighter against me.

What a mess this dinner was…


	13. The Real Trouble Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex finally realizes it's too late when it's already too late.

After a few minutes, when his laughing subsided, he pulled back, wiping the running blood from his nose, “I have to talk to him,” he headed for the door.

“Wait what?” I asked in panic, grabbing onto his hands tightly, trying to hold him back.

“I have to talk to him,” he repeated, gently prying my hands from their death grip on him.

“Talk to who? What are you talking about Arthur? Please don’t! Just stay here! Please, the police are coming, just stay here please!” I begged, hugging him tightly, begging as I looked up at him. Real, sickening fear began to set in all over again.

I heard screaming outside and suddenly there was banging on the bathroom door. For a split second I hoped it was the police.

It wasn’t.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” Rich yelled, “OPEN IT!” the entire door rattled with his fists and kicks.

“GET AWAY FROM HER!” Bruce’s voice came from the other side of the door. There was wrestling against the door then, more yelling, screaming from both Sophie and Iza, and punches. My heart stopped in fright, and I begged Arthur in whispers to please just stay put.

“I can’t. I can’t. I have to talk to him.” He pulled away from me.

“No! NO! ARTHUR DON’T!” I begged clinging onto him as he opened the door. Rich and Bruce stopped fighting, looking over at us. Both were bloody and disheveled on the floor, their clothes torn, their faces smeared in blood. Sophie and Iza watched from the end of the corridor, both as frightened as me.

Everything was completely silent for a moment.

“If you ever touch her like that again, I’ll kill you,” Arthur said, looking right at Richard.

Rich stood, he mirrored an animal about to attack, “What did you say?!” he snapped.

“Touch Alex like that again and I’ll kill you,” Arthur repeated, blinking rapidly and not moving a muscle as Rich stared him down.

“STOP! Please just STOP!” I begged both of them.

“Who the FUCK do you think you are? Who the FUCK do you think you’re talking to?!” Rich snapped.

“NO!” I screamed as he charged at Arthur, this time Arthur was prepared, and they broke into a fight. I tried to stop it, knowing it would end badly. As I pushed Rich and screamed and begged them to stop, arms went around my waist and Bruce lifted me off my feet and pulled me away from the fight.

Finally, somewhere in a distant place, I heard loud banging and shorty after it, several police officers ran towards Rich and Arthur, pulling them apart.

The rest was a blurry, chaotic mess. They pulled them apart, handcuffed Arthur, and only Arthur, and sat all three of them outside on the balcony for questioning.

I was prepared to defend Arthur at all costs, because honestly, I knew he was the only one that could get into serious trouble. 

Rich blamed everything on Arthur, and the police wanted to believe him, however, they also questioned Iza, Sophie, and me and so they knew the real story.

“That was frightening,” Iza shook her head, still holding her hand to her chest.

I sighed, “I’m so sorry, to both of you…” I replied, “Sophie, Iza, truly, I’m so sorry for tonight… this is my fault…”

Sophie looked over at me, “You have a big problem on your hands,” she warned.

I frowned, not sure what of the many she was referring to. I’m glad that you realize that all of this was because of you” she replied, “I’m not saying you intentionally caused it, and I’m not blaming you but this---” she nodded towards the three men on the balcony who were speaking to the police, “This is because they care about you way too much.”

I watched them, then looked back at her, still not understanding what she meant. I was about to ask when the officers moved to release one of them.

First, they released Bruce. He came in as they continued questioning Arthur and Rich. He came over to me, his head low, and began to apologize. I couldn’t even look at him, much less talk to him.

“Bruce, just go,” I whispered.

“Let’s go, I’ll take you home,” He replied.

“No, just go, take Iza home, she’s the one you need to apologize to. You should be ashamed of what you put her through” I snapped, wiping my tears with the back of my hand.

“I don’t want you to stay with Richard. Let’s go, come on, I’ll take you home and you don’t even have to talk to me,” he insisted.

“I said no Bruce,” I snapped right back, then walked past him to wait by the glass door that opened up to the balcony.

He waited a while, and when he realized I wasn’t going anywhere with him, he and Iza left quietly. Before leaving, she came over and gave me a hug. “Sophie is right you know, about what she said. Be careful,” she advised.

Second, they released Richard and he came inside. He went over to me and put his arm around my shoulders. A while later, after even more questioning, they finally released Arthur. The police stayed until he and Sophie left. She thanked me for the invite and reminded me that I shouldn’t feel bad about what happened, but that I should be careful.

I left shortly after they did, after yet another fight with Rich. He had wanted me to stay and tend to him because “that’s what I’m supposed to do for him.” Thank the gods that he was too tired and beat to shit to actually make me stay, so I called the medics for him and took my chance and ran for it.

I ran right into Arthur as I stepped off the elevator.

“Arthur?!” I asked, confused as to why he was still there.

He pushed his brown curls back nervously, like he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing.

“Where’s Sophie?” I looked around, “Why are you still here? The police ordered you to leave!”

“I know… I know but you were still here and I was worried… and… I was… I was just going to make sure that you were okay…”

“What about Sophie?” I asked again.

“I asked her to take the uber back by herself… she understood why I was worried…” he avoided my eyes.

Oh sweet, kind Arthur. My angel Arthur. I went up and hugged him tightly, then looked up at him.

“Dear god. What is Penny going to say when she sees you like this? She’s never going to let me take you out again,” I sighed, seeing how bruised and bloody his face was.

“She’s seen worse,” he replied, teasingly.

I laughed, then realized he wasn’t joking, “Wait… really?”

He shrugged, then nodded and my heart broke.

“Well fights are completely and ENTIRELY off limits for you from this moment forward, understood? Let’s get you cleaned up before you go back home,” I replied.

I took him home that night. We rode the subway as close as we could to my neighborhood, and I snuck him into my house.

My mother and father weren’t home, of course, they had some kind of business meeting or something. They were hardly home anyways. And thankfully I was able to get him all the way up to my room without any of the housekeepers or security seeing him.

I threw my coat and purse into the sofa in front of my bed and looked back at Arthur as I began to remove my jewelry once we were safely in my bedroom. He looked around in wonder, his hands stiff at his sides, his entire stance timid and curious.

“Arthur, I am truly so sorry for how awful today was,” I cut into the silence. He looked back at me, “That was such an awful way to meet Bruce…”

“It’s not your fault Alex,” he replied.

“It is… I should have been more careful… I know how Rich is and… I’m sorry, I’m just so sorry, I feel awful,” I sat down and removed the one shoe I wore.

“Really, it’s not your fault. Even with all that happened, I’m glad to have gotten to meet him in person…” he smiled, “Maybe one day we can just… talk...” he shrugged preciously. 

I smiled, “I promise to try and make this better, in a few days when this blows over, maybe we can try again. I’ll talk to him about you and about how much you mean to me, and he will understand,” I replied.

He watched as I walked over and disappeared into the closet, then reappeared and disappeared again into the bathroom. I dug through the cabinets for my first aid kit, then came out, grabbed some drinks from the mini fridge, then took Arthur’s hand and pulled him over to the sofa. I pulled him down to sit and got comfortable. I used the iPad to turn the TV on, hoping to make him more comfortable. The channel was on some action movie and the background noise was really all I wanted. 

His beautiful, ever curious green eyes watched as I dug through the kit and found what I needed first, sterile water, gauze, and antibacterial soap.

“Relax, why are you so tense?” I asked him, “I am never this tense in your home. In fact, that’s where I feel most at ease.” 

“Really?!” he asked, then laughed shyly, “I don’t know,” he replied, “You’re bedroom is big...”

“Big and empty… well, usually, but you’re here right now, so it's not empty” I smiled at him. He smiled back.

I cleaned his wounds softly, as tenderly as I could. My phone rang in my purse and I paused to see who it was. “Bruce,” I informed Arthur.

“He cares a lot about you,” he replied quietly.

I put my phone on silent and tossed it aside, “He acted like a complete fool today, I am just so disappointed,” I sighed. I opened one of the drinks, a green tea, and handed it to Arthur, then prepared antibacterial ointment to follow up after cleaning the dried blood from his wounds. He took the bottle, thanked me, and took a small sip nervously. 

Why was he so timid?! So vulnerable and precious.

“That’s what people do when they care about someone...” he replied, “act like a fool...”

I placed the band-aid on the side of his forehead and looked into his eyes. I saw my chance and took it, “Is that why you also acted like a complete fool? Because you care about Bruce? Or about me?”

He just stared back, his green eyes looking between mine, our faces close. “I-I care about both of you,” he finally replied.

“You threatened Richard…” I reminded him, “for me…”

“I did,” He acknowledged.

We just looked between each other’s eyes for a few moments.

“You also kissed me back the other night… when I was in the bathtub…” 

He swallowed thickly, dropping his gaze, “I’m sorry—I-I shouldn’t have done that—you had been drinking a-and—”

I sighed and cut him off, “Arthur, I had been dying for you to kiss me…” 

He looked back at me, then my eyes dropped to his lips and almost in sync, he leaned forward and I closed my eyes. His lips found mine and we kissed softly, uneasily at first, then deeper. My arms went around his neck and I pulled myself closer to him, the first aid kit falling from my lap and to the floor. His strong arms wrapped around my waist, the strength in them as he pulled me towards him made my breath hitch against his lips.

That’s when I knew that I was really in trouble and there was no going back.


	14. In Love with Arthur Fleck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Arthur experience something they never have before.
> 
> *This chapter is rated M for mature*

I eased myself onto his lap, quickly shifting so I was straddling him. Our lips broke apart for a moment and I looked deeply into his beautiful eyes, “Alex… are you sure you want—”

“Yes Arthur, I’m sure I want to,” I replied. 

We were both panting, our breaths shaky, a little fear in both of us. I brushed his soft, chocolate brown curls back from his face gently, being careful where his eye was turning black but thankfully the swelling was going down. Then, our lips found one another again and this time, the kiss was deeper, more urgent. 

His cold hands rested on my lower back as my fingers tangled in his curls. My breath caught in my throat when his began to slide slowly down my back to rest atop my ass.

My hands balled into fists, pulling gently on his curls as my body pressed closer to his, wanting to feel him closer, nearer. Suddenly I stood, crawling off of his lap. He looked adorable sitting there, confused as to why I pulled back so suddenly, breathless, his curls in a mess, clearly ‘excited’ by the bulge in his trousers. 

I quickly took both of his hands and pulled him up, putting his arms around my waist, then pulling him down for another one of those amazing kisses.

We stumbled as he walked me backwards, stumbling a little over the things that had fallen to the floor. We paid no mind to them, and when my walk was weird and off step because of my cast, he lifted me up into his arms and I quickly wrapped my legs around his slim waist.

My hands began pulling at his clothing, pulling the navy blue sweater up, which was torn and stained with blood from the fight earlier, over his head and off his body. I wanted to touch his skin, run my hands all over his body, feel the softness of his skin, the definition of his muscles, the beauty of every part of him.

I really have no idea where this feeling of urgency came from, but it was like we couldn’t get naked fast enough. I finished with his sweater, then quickly followed with his white, patterned button up shirt.

I felt his hands find my zipper, then the cool air against my back as he unzipped it all the way down. I hopped off of him and let the dress fall between us, and by that time, I had managed to get the final button undone. I bit my lip as I slowly pulled the shirt down his shoulders. I noticed the slight difference between his left and right shoulder and gently caressed the bones softly with my fingertips, my hands trembling. I stood on my tip toe and began kissing it, my hands running over the soft skin of his back, feeling the muscles and bones underneath. I was careful as they glided over his spine, feeling the thinness of his body.

God. Arthur was so beautiful. He was just so beautiful.

As I kissed his left shoulder, I felt him unclasp my strapless bra, then we let it fall too, adding to the collection of clothes we had already gotten rid of.

He pulled back and looked down at me, my face burning bright red as his eyes admired my breasts. This was easier when I was drunk, I thought. I looked away shyly, I couldn’t help but feel slight fear that I might not be what he had expected, or wanted. He leaned forward and began kissing my left breast, his hands on the small of my back.

I bit my lip and moaned, letting my head fall back as he kissed up my neck and then back down to my other breast. I could feel the wetness in between my legs begin to pool, soaking my panties and run down my legs, making my thighs quiver from excitement as he continued to give my breasts all of his love and affection.

Just his kisses on my skin sent me to heaven. I couldn’t imagine what the rest would feel like.

When my knees began to wobble from his kisses, I pulled back and quickly began unfastening his belt and trousers, clumsily getting them undone and pulling them down. He kissed my face as I did that, making me pant even harder. I jumped a little and bit my lip to hide my excitement when I pulled his underwear down and his hard, engorged length sprung out. I looked up at him, into his eyes, my favorite eyes, as I took him into my hand.

I had never felt something like that before, I had never felt anything like this before. His beautiful eyes, framed by those long, thick lashes fluttered closed as I stroked him. His breath hitched and again I lifted onto my tip toe to spread loving kisses all over his face. He let me feel and pleasure him for a few seconds before it must have been too much for him. When I felt him eagerly pulling my panties down, I stopped and tried to step out of them but almost fell. Arthur caught me, but I couldn’t stop myself and started laughing. Both of us where laughing.

I buried my face against his chest and felt his hands slowly slide up my back, then I looked up at him again as our laughter stopped and he kissed me. This kiss was hot and desperate, and suddenly he picked me up and tossed me onto my bed. I looked up at him as he pulled my panties off, then stepped out of his pants. Arthur was thin, but his manhood was large and thick, and it bobbed up and down as he removed the last of his clothing. I felt nervousness again, fear but not fear of him, more so fear of him seeing me like this. I exhaled deeply, the slowly spread my legs for him, revealing the slick, wet mess in between them. He looked down and I felt my heart race. 

His length twitched, then he quickly crawled on top of me.

Arthur had no reservations with me and I was happy for that, because that meant he felt as comfortable with me as I did with him. The sickening feeling of fear I always felt when Rich talked about sex wasn’t there. I didn’t feel like crying. I didn’t feel like hiding. I didn’t feel like I was voiceless. I felt alive. I felt excitement. I felt love and comfort. 

We kissed again as I felt him palm me, his fingers exploring me gently, fearfully, like he was afraid he would hurt me. Unbeknownst to him, it was awfully teasing, it made my legs weak, it made me want MORE.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and hoped he knew what that meant.

He did, I felt him lift his hips up a little, then the blunt, thick head of his cock press against my wetness, searching for the entrance. 

He missed, missed again, missed AGAIN, and that’s when I decided to help him. I kissed him as I reached down, placed my hand over his, then guided him into me.

I gasped loudly as he pushed in, both of our hands releasing his length as it disappeared into me.

It stretched me completely, painfully, and beautifully. The feeling was something I could never explain or put into words. I hugged him tightly against me, panting heavily from pain, but also from the raw, sick desire I had to be absolutely destroyed by this beautiful man.

Clearly, he had needed a moment too, and he was completely still for a while, his muscles tight as I caressed his back with trembling hands. I buried my face against his neck, placing soft kisses there as he took the moment to collect himself.

Then, he pulled back and pressed himself harder against me. I knew from that moment that we were both on a mission.

He withdrew, then pushed back in and it stung, but after he did that a few more times, I began to ache with desire for more. After giving me a few deep thrusts, he began to speed up until he reached a pace that made me feel like I was flying.

In that moment, as he kissed me, caressed me, and made love to me, it felt like I was finally living. My life was finally as perfect and beautiful as everyone thought it was. 

Nothing could have prepared me for how it would feel to be his. To feel his soft touch, his rough thrusts, hear his pants and moans, his quiet cursing from pleasure.

He was just so damn BEAUTIFUL.

I tried to watch him in between the blinding pleasure he was giving me. How his lips were parted, how his curls fell to his face, making me again need to brush them back gently, tenderly as little gasps and moans escaped my lips. I loved how dark his eyes looked, the usual twinkle in them momentarily gone as he made love to me.

I kissed down his shoulder, panting against his skin. He shifted above me, then continued thrusting and something about that slightly new position sent electricity through my entire body.

“Oh my god,” I gasped/breathed/panted, “ohmygodohmygodohmygod!” I bit my lip.

He stopped and I could have died in that moment, before he could even speak, I quickly begged him to keep going, so he quickly did as his princess requested.

I pulled my legs back, bringing my bent knees back and closer to my body, my mouth agape as I gasped with the warm, honey-like feeling that was beginning low in my belly. He continued until my back arched sharply, my breath hitched and stopped, my hands clawed at his biceps, and my entire body went rigid beneath him. His thrusts were powerful as he continued, watching me, admiring my climax, his fingers running through my hair softly, caressing me, soothing me. Suddenly, my hands began pushing at his hips and he stopped as my body relaxed, convulsing a little. The pleasure was too much and I couldn’t take all of it in that moment.

“Fuckkkkk!” I gasped, running a hand through my hair and gasping for air, my legs still spread wide and quivering around his hips. “Fuck me,” I suddenly breathed against his lips, “Fuck me Arthur, please fuck me,” I begged.

Again, he obliged and began fucking me hard into the mattress, making me cum one more time before he finally thrusted once, twice, then let out the most beautiful throaty moan as his warmth spread deep inside me. I kissed his face as he came.

His hands grasped fistfuls of the comforter at both sides of my head, trembling from the shear strength of his climax. Every muscle in his body was tense. After he finished, he gave me two more powerful thrusts that made the air rush from my lungs and another wave of warmth spread inside me. Then, he finally collapsed on top of me, completely spent.

I welcomed him into my arms lovingly as I felt him bury his face against my neck. His heavy pants sending his hot breath across my neck. I panted along with him, my eyes closed and a big smile on my face. My hands glided up and down his back for a little while, soothing him lovingly. I could feel his chest and abdomen expand and retract against me as he fought to catch his breath, his body weak on top of mine. 

I loved him. I realized then that I loved him. I was in love with Arthur Fleck.


	15. Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets a taste of the life she has always dreamed of having.

After a while he rolled off of me, my body bouncing on the bed gently from his movement, then we laid side by side in silence, only the quiet hum of the voices on the TV filled the room along with our quieting pants. Slowly our breaths became even, our bodies relaxed completely, and we both enjoyed our first ever after sex feeling of bliss. I snuggled up against him without speaking, closing my eyes and resting my cheek against his shoulder, almost dozing off from exhaustion.

“I’ve never done that before…” he whispered.

I knew that, even without him telling me. “Me either,” I replied, my eyes still closed.

“Are you okay?”

I sat up and looked down at him, “more than okay,” I leaned down and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“What for?” I asked gently, cupping his face with my hand, “for making me feel alive for the first time in my life?”

He looked between my eyes, blinking his big pretty green ones and slowly a shy smile spread across his face. God he was so handsome.

“I didn’t know I could make you feel that way…” he replied shyly.

“You have from the moment I met you,” I smiled, slithering my arms around his neck and moving closer until our noses were touching, “there’s just something about you, I can’t stay away,” I lifted my eyes and watched as my fingers played with his perfect brunette curls.

“I never imagined you would even care about someone like me…”

I lowered my eyes back to his, “Because you thought of me as the kind of person that doesn’t care about anyone?”

“Yes, but also because… well...”

“Well?” I pressed.

He laughed nervously under my gaze, “No one has ever cared about me before… except for mother.”

My heart broke.

“Arthur…” I whispered softly, “I know your life has been difficult and I can’t even understand how the world could be so awful to such a beautiful person…” I cupped his face again, “But know that my life is better because you are in it, my world would be…” I tried to think of a word that would describe how mundane, routine, lifeless... “Lifeless. My world would be lifeless and empty without you in it.”

He smiled softly. I smiled back and made him chuckle as I placed a billion kisses all over his face.

After that, we rested a little while in silence. Of course I snuggled as close as I could against him, resting my cheek against his chest. I listened to his steady heartbeat, beating strongly and calmly against my ear and just as I was dozing off to the rhythmic pace of it, he spoke quietly.

“I should go.”

I pouted, sticking my bottom lip out as I sat up sleepily, “Nooooo, please don’t!” I whined.

He chuckled, “I need to check on mother.”

I sighed, nodding in understanding, “Just a little while more? Let’s take a warm shower, then I’ll drive you home,” I leaned forward and nuzzled my nose against his.

He chuckled again and nodded, “thank you for offering to take me, but I would rather you stay and sleep, I can make it back just fine.” He replied.

“I don’t want you going alone,” I mumbled, kissing him softly on the lips. I just wanted to spend more time with him, honestly. I knew he would never let me drive him back.

“Alex, I’ll be alright,” he smiled.

I insisted and he refused, so I gave up and pulled him to the shower, both of us crawling out of bed still completely naked. I washed him gently, being extra careful around the bruises, scraps, and cuts, showing him as much love as I could with my hands and tenderness. We ended up having sex again in the shower. When his cock was hard again, I bit my lip and slowly turned my back to him, placing my hands on the wall and bending over. He stepped closer and I felt him struggle to find my entrance, his wet cock poking against my slick slit. I let him try for a few short seconds and then helped guide him inside me.

He would need practice with that, and I was more than willing to help him master it.

Our moans and pants echoed against the walls as he pounded me from behind doggy style. My hands were against the wall, bracing myself for dear life as he held onto my hips and pulled me back and forward with his thrusts, the sound of our skin slapping against each other’s muffling our moans. When we both came, our bodies quivering in pleasure, my knees nearly gave out and had he not been holding me, I would have surly collapsed. He leaned forward, resting his body against my spine as he panted raggedly against my ear, his cock twitching inside me, spreading warmth hotter than the water running over us deep inside me.

He washed me as we kissed under the water, his hand gentle as he washed his cum off from in between my legs.

We were fresh and clean when we finally stepped out. I giggled as I dried his fluffy curls with a towel, unable to resist lifting onto my tip toes to kiss him again, his hair a complete tousled but beautiful mess.

I found some of Bruce’s clothes for him, which surprisingly fit quite well, and against my will, snuck him back out of the house.

I was exhausted when I finally made it back to my room but I couldn’t sleep thinking about that night, remembering his touch on my body, in the most intimate places, his kisses and the sound of his raspy breathes against my ear, how the tiny birth scar he had over his upper lip felt against my tongue…

I answered his ‘I made it home’ call about 40 minutes later and wished him a good rest of the night. Or morning.

Even then, I sat in my bed long after we had ended the call, terribly alone.

How awfully empty a room could feel without him.

***

The next morning, I turned on my TV to see all about the altercation that had occurred at Rich’s house. The details weren’t clear so they obviously didn’t know exactly what happened, but there were pictures of Bruce, Rich, and Arthur in handcuffs, pictures of all of them arriving, and pictures of Arthur and I outside of Rich’s home as the sun was setting.

Fuck.

I ignored all the calls that began to come through but quickly picked up after getting a text from Ashley about the results. As soon as the stylists finished my make up and wardrobe, I hurried out after the results.

As I drove I called Arthur, hoping he was still home.

He wasn’t, but Penny answered. Thankfully, she hadn’t seen the news yet.

“Alex!” she exclaimed happily.

“Mrs. Penny, how are you this morning?” I asked, parking my car and hurrying into the hospital and into the elevator.

“I’m great! I prepared one of those omelets like you showed me, I also made one for Arthur before he left,” she replied proudly.

“That’s great! How was he this morning?” I asked. I was going to have to get him a cellphone. I hated not being able to reach him.

“He was fine,” she sounded a little confused about my question.

“Oh, it’s just he was up kind of late with me—us, that’s all, nothing to worry about” I cleared my throat as I assured her.

“Oh, okay,” she replied, quickly forgetting her worry, “Will you be coming by today?” she asked.

“Of course! I’ll try to be there in time for all of us to watch the Murray show,” I replied, quietly thanking the receptionist that let me into the back. I heard whispers from the patients waiting in the lobby, but I ignored them.

Ashley tried to talk to me as she handed me the envelops, I apologized showing her I was on the phone.

“Alex, this is becoming a huge mess! You have got to put an end to it!” she snapped, “There are pictures with you and Arthur after that fight! All of Gotham is talking about it!” she insisted.

“I know! I know!” Ash, I’ll try and call you later,” I whispered, hugging her and dashing out of her office with the three envelops in my hand.

I hated doing this to her, but I could not wait to open them. However, I couldn’t do it alone. I needed my Arthur.

I talked with Penny a little while longer and ended the call right as I parked outside of Ha Ha’s. Gods, I hoped Arthur was still there. I paid the meter and hurried inside and up the stairs following the handwritten signs. I walked down a long hallway and finally into a room full of mirrors and lights, and lockers, and colored clothing hanging all around. There were various act props scattered across the room, several unicycles, a drum set on the far left corner…

When they noticed me, all of the men turned to look back at me, most all in half-finished clown make up.

Then there, in the middle against the farthest wall in front of a brightly lit vanity placed in between two large windows that overlooked Gotham city, was my Arthur. An old speaker sitting on the vanity was playing classical music to him as he paid no attention to what was going on around him, painting his face peacefully. I hurried towards him, and he turned when he saw me in the mirror. I didn’t resist the urge to hug him tightly and place a soft kiss on his white, grease painted cheek.

“I’ve got the results,” I informed him.

All around us, shocked, wide-eyed, and confused half-clowns sat/stood frozen in disbelief as they watched us.


	16. And the Results Are...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Arthur finally get their answers.

I paused a little, kind of expecting Arthur to say something and when he didn’t, I turned and headed to the door. He followed me out but before we reached the door, this tall, built man with a partially drawn beard, honestly looking kind of scary for a party clown, called out to Arthur, “Hey Artie, you aren’t going to introduce your friends to this lovely young lady?” he asked.

I had wondered that too, honestly.

Arthur never talked much about work. Arthur didn’t talk much period but hardly ever about work. I had honestly completely forgot about the fact that he worked with other people, other party clowns. I looked over at him and he just glared at the tall, bulky clown. I instantly realized the relationship here wasn’t great. Arthur spoke before I could.

“Everyone, this is Alex,” his voice was timid, quiet, and slightly uneasy. It was like he was talking to a group of people he hardly knew.

I turned to them, “Nice to meet you all,” I bowed my head politely.

“Alexandria Wayne,” The tall man said, his eyes dark and just… something about him made me uncomfortable… “We already know who you are,” he continued, reaching for my hand. He took it, placing a kiss on the back of it, “You are even more lovely and stunning in person. The Wayne Princess herself, we are so lucky to have you here. I’m Randall, pleasure to meet you sweetheart.” I forced a smile and was glad when Arthur came to stand closer to me. “Artie, I really thought those papers were printing crazy stories, but look, here she is, in the flesh. I didn’t know you ran in that circle,” Randall turned his attention to Arthur, “Are you keeping secrets from your friends?”

Arthur just stared back.

“Hey Artie, does she know about the laughing?” Another asked from across the room. They all burst into laughter. Arthur just looked between all of them, his jaw clenched but he didn’t speak up to defend himself. I had a feeling this happened often and that they all enjoyed making him the butt of the jokes.

I understood the relationship between them now and why Arthur probably didn’t talk about them. And why he didn’t want to even introduce me to them.

I literally said fuck everything in my head right in that moment and laced my arm with Arthur’s. They stopped laughing, even Arthur didn’t know what I was doing. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down for the sluttiest, most sensual kiss I could muster. Some of them even stood from their chairs in shock. I heard a mug break somewhere in the room. Even the record Arthur had been playing stopped.

“I do, to answer your question,” I said, looking over at the dark-skinned man that had joked about Arthur’s condition, then I made sure to look everyone in the eyes before looking back at the man that mentioned the laugh and I gave him a smile before placing another quick kiss on Arthur’s lips, “does it look like it bothers me?” I asked, “Because it doesn’t,” I shrugged, looking back at a very shocked Arthur, “I don’t want to take too much of your time babe, I know you’ve got places to be,” I turned back to them, “One again, pleasure to meet you all.” I said and pulled him out the door.

He was in complete shock as I pulled him down the stairs, “Alex—” he said once we reached the bottom.

“We’ll talk about that later okay? I wanted you to be with me when I opened the envelops.”

“But what if this gets back to—to your family? Or Rich?!” he asked, running after me as I headed back to my car.

“I don’t care, to be honest. It’s all over the news already. Also, please don't mention that poor excuse of a man.”

“Wait… what?” he asked.

I opened the door and jumped in, Arthur hurried around and got into the passenger’s side.

“I just couldn’t do it by myself,” I breathed, feeling sick to my stomach.

He nodded in understanding and his green eyes dropped to the envelopes I picked up.

I took a deep breath, then handed them to him, “I can’t open them, you do it, please?” I begged.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Please babe?” I begged.

His eyes widened a little, I wasn’t sure at what, maybe because I called him babe again and this time not for show?

He took them, and because they weren’t labeled, he opened the first one.

“Please open them all and tell me the results between you and me first,” I asked.

I felt sick to my stomach. I was shaking, my hands cold and clammy on my lap. I could hear the blood rushing through my ears from fear and anticipation. I had already given everything to this man, there was no going back. 

What we did, there was no going back from that.

I watched as he opened all three, and he was careful not to read them before it was time. This man was perfect in every way.

He looked at the names at the top, organized the papers, then looked up at me, “Are you ready?”

I exhaled deeply, closing my eyes and nodding.

“The first one says 0% between Arthur Fleck and Alexandria Wayne,” he read.

I nodded in relief. So Arthur and I were free to love each other, no genetic or blood link between us. Arthur and I were not related, not in the slightest. I knew what that meant, and so I reached for his cold hand with both of mine and held it tightly.

“Please read the results between my father and I,” I whispered.

He put the top paper aside, “Zachary Wayne and Alexandria Wayne, 0%,” He read.

I felt my breath catch in my throat, my chest heaving but because I was still slightly in shock, I wasn’t aware tears were spilling from my eyes. “Next,” I simply said.

“Alex?”

“Please just read it Arthur,” I begged. It was like half of me was waiting in anticipation and the other half was processing and reacting to the previous results.

“Anna Louise Wayne and Alexandria Wayne, 0%.”

Arthur and I were not related. Arthur and I were not related and neither were me and the man and woman I thought to be my parents.

I wasn’t related to any of the Waynes.

I wasn’t Alexandria Wayne.

I had no idea who I even was.

It was a strange moment. Deep down, I was relieved. I was free to love Arthur as much as I already did and even more.

But, my entire world as I knew it changed forever from that moment on. Thomas Wayne was right, I had no right to decide anything when it came to the Wayne family. I wasn’t one of them. I had no place at Wayne Enterprises, I had no right at the Wayne table, no right to the Wayne fortune, or the fame that came with it.

In FACT, the man sitting beside me in that car, he did! It was like he and I had traded lives. I had lived with the luxuries HE deserved. How could he not hate me from this moment on? Why me and not him? He who was actually a Wayne by blood. Why was I adopted into this family and he, a legitimate son of Thomas Wayne, was thrown out and abandoned?!?!!?!

I began to sob and he sat quietly beside me, not sure what to do. I covered my mouth in shame, embarrassed at my ugly sobs, hating that I was making him uncomfortable. But instead and to my surprise, he took my hand and pulled on it. I knew what he meant and so I crawled over and onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and held me as I cried the loss of my life as I knew it.

“Why me? Why not you?” I sobbed.

“That doesn’t matter,” He replied.

“Yes i-it does Arthur, yes it d-does,” I hiccuped through sobs, “I-I’m not even related to them by blood but they abandoned you?!” I looked up at him, “I’ve been living your life,” my chin quivered.

He looked into my eyes and placed his finger under my chin gently, “None of that matters to me anymore Alex, Thomas Wayne or his lies… you matter to me...”

Those were some of the most sincere and emotion displaying words Arthur had spoken to this date. I began to sob even harder and he hugged me tightly again.

He was right. Did that really matter anymore? Did any of that really matter?! He had put it behind him and so would I. It would be hard to move past this, to accept that my entire life was a lie and that they had gone as far as pretending my mother was pregnant to cover the lie. Had they not felt guilt at throwing out a mother and her child to fend for themselves in a world that had no mercy on them? Did Thomas Wayne know how much Arthur and Penny struggled just to get by? Did he care?! Did they even care?! 

Who cared about Thomas Wayne or any of his family. Who cared about that lying man? A man who could abandon his very own son and not give two shits about the struggling life he led? Whether he slept at night, had a warm bed, food on his table… who cared about someone as heartless and loveless as Thomas Wayne?!

Who cared about the Waynes and all of their riches, their fame, their prestigious name?!

They could keep them, I would keep something priceless, something that not even all of the Wayne fortune could ever compare to.

I would keep my Arthur, and he was all I would ever need.


	17. Do You Love Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets real with Arthur.

After a long while I sat up, dried my tears and put on a face calm enough to assure Arthur that I was okay. I told him that I just wanted to go back to his apartment and be with Penny and wait for him to come home. I knew he had to work and I didn’t want to take any more of his time. He very, very reluctantly let me go.

I had been at his apartment about 5 minutes when he called to make sure I was there and that I was okay.

In fact, he called all day to check up on me. I took a nap at one point while Penny and I watched a game show and I heard the phone ring while I slept. Penny had quietly talked to him and told him I had been resting and that everything was okay. 

I had turned my phone off long ago and had focused on just clearing my mind and not thinking about what was to come and how it was going to change my life. I didn’t want to think about what I was going to do or worry about the uncertainty the future held.

I had changed into something comfortable, some of Arthur’s pajamas, and had helped Penny with lunch and the dishes. There was a pile of clothing that Arthur had taken to the laundry and hadn’t had time to put away, and so I did that while I played one of Arthur’s old Frank Sinatra records.

Penny asked about college and that reminded me of the project I had coming up, so as she knitted and told me childhood stories about Arthur, which I absolutely enjoyed hearing, I began to map out a business plan for an entertainment company.

I worked on that most of the afternoon and ignored the rest of my life while I waited for Arthur to come home. When I heard the keys outside the door, I jumped up and ran right into his arms as he opened the door, not even giving him time to step inside. I squeezed him tightly, burying my face against his neck as he lifted me up with one arm, stepped inside, and closed the door behind us. I pulled back and looked up at him, giving him a quick kiss on the lips before Penny could see.

“How are you?” He asked, his voice soft and kind. He placed a kiss on my forehead that made by heart nearly explode with warmth. 

“I’m okay,” I replied, reluctantly letting him go when I saw Penny come over.

“Happy, you’re home late,” she replied.

“Yeah ma, the subway was late ,” he hugged her too. He sounded so tired. 

“Go wash up, I’ll make something for dinner,” I replied, our eyes met and I gave him a little nod to let him know I was really okay. 

I assured Penny I didn’t need help and time passed quickly while I stir fried some chicken and vegetables. 

Arthur was out of the shower before I was finished and he came over to help set the table. 

Penny did most of the talking during dinner, and even though it was mostly about Thomas Wayne, I didn’t mind at all that she filled the silence. Arthur tried getting her to change the subject several times with little success.   
After dinner, we all sat down to watch the Murray show, our new nightly routine. I curled up against Arthur and we held hands under the covers. 

Arthur and I exchanged looks when we saw that Murray had the Victoria’s Secret models on tonight and Iza was one of them. I snorted when they brought up Bruce and the sightings of them together. 

“She’s a nice girl, hopefully it works out with B,” I commented. 

“Bruce seems like a nice young man. So well educated and mannered,” Penny replied, “So much like his father. He’s very handsome too.”

“His sons are handsome, that’s very true,” I commented. Arthur looked over at me, “I’m more fond of the older one, he’s drop dead gorgeous, in my opinion…” 

“What?” Penny asked, confused.

“I agree, that’s all mama P,” I replied. 

When the Murray show was over, Arthur helped Penny to bed and I bid her good night and waved as they disappeared into the bedroom. I stretched myself out, groaning as I uncurled myself from our cozy nest in the sofa.  
Finally, I lazily went over to clean off the table and wash the dishes for the night. 

“I’m sorry about that,” Arthur replied when he returned. 

“For what?” I asked quietly, nudging his tummy with my elbow.

“I tried to get her to stop talking about Thomas Wayne…”

I shrugged, “It makes her happy, and I’m honestly not going to let him ruin my life,” I replied, “After all, I have to be thankful that he gave me you,” I looked over at him. 

He smiled softly and I dried my hands and made grabby hands at him. He came over and I wrapped my arms around him. I inhaled the scent of his clean hair and skin, his pure scent that I loved so much. He was warm and cuddly, but as always his hands were cold as they rested against my upper back. 

“I don’t know if I like your curls more or your hair back like that,” I whispered into his ear. He pulled back to look down at me, his nose almost touching mine, “This is a look,” I reached up and gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. 

“You mean it when you say I’m handsome?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes playfully, “Well duh, Artie,” I smiled, “Look at that face,” I bit my lip and gently traced my index finger down his jaw, “Look at those eyes… its unfair that you have such pretty eyelashes… and those CURLS.   
Literally, curls for daaaaaaays. So yes, you are very, very handsome, Mr. Fleck,” I grinned.

We kissed then, pulling closer to each other. He pressed hard against me, pressing me against the counter and taking my breath away in an instant. I pushed him back and he pulled away from me. I quickly searched his pockets, panting heavily already as my hands searched feverishly, knowing that he carried that box of cigarettes even in his pajama pockets. He let me search, and when I didn’t find it I looked up at him.

“I stopped.” He replied simply.

“You stopped smoking?” I asked, completely surprised.

He nodded.

“For me?!?!” I asked.

He nodded again.

“I have a question then,” I panted, I would ask it nonetheless.

“What is it?” he replied.

“Do you still like Sophie?”

“No.”

“When did that change?”

“When I met you.”

“You didn’t tell me that…” I frowned.

“I was afraid you would realize I liked you…”

“Why Arthur?” I asked in confusion. 

He shrugged shyly, lowering his gaze, “because you look like a princess and I… just like this…” he mumbled.

“Arthur…” I sighed, “you beautiful thing, I love you,” I whispered. 

He looked back up into my eyes. 

“Do you love me?” I asked. 

He nodded.

I smiled big and he kissed me again, taking my breath away completely.

Despite the fact that my entire past was a lie, that my life had fallen apart just hours ago when I found out that my family had lied to me my entire life, knowing that Arthur loved me was all I needed to be happy.


	18. ER Trip #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Arthur find themselves back in the ER.

He broke our wet, sloppy kiss, panting over my face as his hands caressed my skin, his cold fingertips gliding carefully over the hollow of my cheeks. I looked between his eye as his followed his fingers, carefully tracing down my neck and sending chills and goosebumps down my spine. My breath caught in my throat as he cupped my breasts over his t-shirt that I wore and he kneaded them carefully at first, then with more roughness. I could feel my nipples harden with desire from his touch.

We kissed again, our tongues fighting for dominance, our lips parted and our breaths hot and heavy. His hands slid down my body and one found its way into the pajama pants I wore, which were also Arthur’s. His fingers were icy as he slid them in between my hot folds and began massaging. He pulled the pajama pants, and my panties, down my legs with the other hand, leaving me naked from the waist down. I squeaked loudly when his icy fingers pushed into me, biting my lip as I grabbed fistfuls of his shirt.

I knew that was loud, but that didn’t stop him.

“Arthur? Alex?” I heard Penny call out from her room.

He didn’t stop, and so I did everything I could to collect myself quickly to form a semi-normal response, “We’re okay!” I called out.

We should stop, I thought for that brief moment, we should stop right here, right now. But that was easier said than done.

All I could do was look into his piercing eyes as his fingers pumped in and out of me for a few short seconds before he withdrew them. I spun around, pulling the shirt up to my waist and then placing my elbows on the counter, spreading my legs for him. My heart was racing in anticipation, my body quivering with excitement.

He pulled his pajama pants down behind me and I heard him stroke himself quickly a few times, coating his cock with my own arousal from his fingers and his own, which was seeping from his red, engorged head.

I covered my mouth with my hand as he searched for my entrance, the feeling so dirty and sexy at the same time. I was so wet for him that his head slid around easily, assaulting my lips so beautifully. I leaned down further when he struggled a little, arching my spine, and then he found what he was searching for. I shuttered as he pushed into me, muffling the gasp as best as I could into my palm as his length stretched me completely and entirely. He didn’t waste time, he began to pound himself into me right away. Tears of pleasure collected in my vision and when he noticed them, he stopped.

“Keep going!” I begged, “Keep going baby, please…” I pleaded, looking back and up at him. I grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him towards me as I pushed my hips back against him eagerly. 

God. What a feeling. It was pure and utter heaven. It was the best feeling in the entire world. “Please don’t stop Arthur,” I whispered.

“Am I hurting you?” he asked with that soft, angelic, raspy voice.

How could he sound so pure and yet be right in the middle of completely destroying me at the same time?!

“No love, not at all, please don’t stop!” I begged, “make me yours baby,” I breathed.

And he did, thank the heavens he did. I knocked over a loaf of bread, a few cans of food, and a glass as I searched for something to hold on to as he pounded me. He paused for a moment, widening his stance, then continued with more power to his thrust.

I bit my lip hard, the only sound we made were very quiet moans, pants, and the repeated slap of his hips against my ass. He fucked me like he was afraid it was the last time. It was intense, rough, unrelenting. It was in moments like this when I felt how love and touch-starved we both were.

I came hard, knocking over a few more things as my hands searched for something to brace myself against.

Staying quiet was so, so hard, almost as hard as Arthur was as he plowed into me.

Sadly, we didn’t do a good job of staying quiet. Knocking over half of the things on the counter didn’t help either.

I caught a glimpse of Penny’s wide eyes and shocked expression from the other side of the window-like opening that that opened up to the living room as she came over.

Arthur had a strong hold on my hips, eagerly pounding away at me. He clearly had not seen her yet. I pushed at him quickly, feeling sick to my stomach as Penny came around the corner. He finally saw her, then quickly withdrew from me, and pulled his pajama pants up just as she stopped in front of us. I felt my face go white, quickly pulling the shirt down my legs as much as I could to cover myself. 

“What are you all doing?!” She gasped, “ALEX?! ARTHUR?! YOU CAN’T BE DOING THIS!” she gasped, lifting a trembling hand to her lips.

“Ma—” Arthur hid himself behind me and I didn’t move, knowing that he was hard as stone and that those pajama pants he wore were not going to cover a single thing.

“DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!” She yelled, “YOU CAN’T BE DOING THIS!!! ARTHUR!! ALEX!! YOU—”

“Mrs. Penny, please just listen—” I cut in, then screamed as her eyes rolled back. Arthur and I both ran forward, catching her right before she hit the floor.

***

The ER room was quiet as both Arthur and I waited for the doctors to come in with the results of all the scans and tests they had run on Penny.

The aftermath of the syncopal episode was a nightmare. While I was on the phone with 911, Arthur carried her to the sofa and ensured that she was breathing. He and I were both in a panic, ordering each other to take her pulse, to tell them to hurry, to elevate her legs… When the ambulance finally arrived, maybe 10 minutes later (it felt like an eternity) he left with her and I followed them in my car.

I parked the car illegally somewhere, and ran out as the ambulance pulled up to the ER. Arthur and I quickly followed her as they rolled her in. By then, her face was covered with an oxygen mask, leads were placed on her chest to monitor her heart, and they had vitals, which was a relief as that meant her heart was beating and she was breathing.

We both looked up as the doctor came in. I quickly took Arthur’s hand for support. Around us, nurses and other staff rushed around hooking up the machines to monitor her vitals. They called out numbers to the doctor who then took out his stethoscope and listened for himself. We told him what happened, well... not exactly, but told him that something had really frightened her to the point that she lost consciousness. 

“Something really shocked her indeed, but everything looks good. We gave her a low dose sedative to help calm her,” the doctor informed us, “so she will probably sleep well for a few hours. But all tests came back normal, her potassium is a little low but other than that she’s fine. No signs of heart or brain damage.”

I signed in relief, squeezing Arthur’s hand gently and smiling up at him.

“Alexandria Wayne, I haven’t seen you in a while, my wife and I are still waiting on the wedding invitation,” he replied.

I didn’t know this doctor personally but did recall seeing him at Rich's parent's house a number of times. I had thought he looked familiar but hadn't cared to really think about where I had seen him.

I forced a smile, noticing how his eyes dropped to mine and Arthur’s joined hands. 

“Soon, I promise,” I replied.

Just not the groom you are imagining, I thought.

“We are looking forward to it. The Stevens are great people, you have chosen well,” he replied, “I’ll be back to check on her in the morning, any concerns you have just let me know, I’ve decided to keep her overnight just to monitor her for a while but she will be ready to go home tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” we both replied.

When we were alone once again, Arthur sat back in defeat. I went over and sat down on the side of the bed carefully and made sure she was tucked in, “She’s alright, that’s what’s important. We’ll talk to her when she wakes up and explain everything. It’ll be alright,” I promised him.

He nodded.

“Now come here, get some rest, I’ll watch her,” I assured him, motioning for him to come and rest his head on my lap.

“I should watch her…” he replied.

“Arthur, you worked all day, please get some rest, I promise I’ll make sure she’s okay and if she wakes up before you do, I’ll make sure to wake you. Also, remember that the doctor said she was fine, please, you need to get some rest.”

He gave in and moved closer, placing his head on my lap and facing his mom. He reached over and gently placed his hand over hers.

It was quiet for a long while after that, but I knew that he wasn’t asleep. I caressed his chocolate brown curls gently, looking down at him and admiring his beauty. He had the longest eyelashes, the most gorgeous arch to his brow and his profile was so absolutely beautiful...

His curls were literally perfect in every way.

My precious Arthur.

I felt so bad. Honestly, I felt like all of this was my fault. I had already arranged to take care of all expenses, so at least they wouldn’t have the financial burden.

“Arthur… I’m sorry…” I whispered.

His eyes opened and he sat up a little, looking up at me, “For what?”

I looked over at Penny.

“It’s not your fault Alex… don’t feel bad,” he replied.

“I should have told her… I had all day to tell her and I just couldn’t bring myself to talk about it… I’m so sorry for everything,” I sighed, my lip quivering.

He lifted up from my lap completely, “Alex, it’s okay,” he smiled sweetly. I bit my lip and his face became blurry with my tears. “Don’t blame yourself. I know that that is a hard thing to talk about. Don’t feel bad, okay?”

I nodded and began to sob. He stood and hugged me tightly. I buried my face into his shoulder and cried silently. I had been so scared that something would happen to Penny and his kindness just made me break down.

I didn’t deserve Arthur Fleck.

After a while when my sobs started to die down, he pulled back and cupped my face gently, “I love you Alex,” he whispered. 

“I love you too, Arthur Fleck,” I sniffled and forced a teary eye'd smile just as Penny began to stir.


	19. The Laugh's Origin Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex learns a little more about her handsome, sweet Arthur.
> 
> *mentions of domestic violence and abuse*

We had agreed that we would talk to her together and explain everything calmly, but honestly, I was afraid of how she would take it, or if she would accept it at all. Arthur and I basically exchanged spots as I jumped off the bed and he quickly sat down and took her hand when her eyes opened.

“Mom? Mom? How do you feel?” Arthur asked her gently as her eyes fixated on him.

“Happy?”

“Yes, I’m here,” he replied, “and so is Alex,” he added.

“Alex?” she whispered.

I looked up at Arthur then back at her with unease, did she remember what happened?! “Momma P, I’m so glad to see you awaken, I’m just… I’m so relieved that you are alright,” I replied, moving closer and into her line of sight so she could see me.

She closed her eyes again for a moment and Arthur and I exchanged nervous looks. “Oh dear…” she whispered, “Oh dear…” the machine began to beep and I saw that her pulse and blood pressure were increasing, “Oh dear... how could this have happened?”

“Momma P, please allow me to explain—” I began.

“Mom, please relax, it's okay” Arthur tried to calm her.

“Um--- Arthur and I--- um---” I had no idea how to phrase sentences all of a sudden. I looked over at Arthur for help.

“Alex and I are not related, there’s nothing to worry about,” he assured her as he held her hand.

I was glad that he could say it better and more calmly than I ever could.

“But you are! Happy you are T--!”

He cut her off, “Mom, mom, it’s okay,” he tried to calm her while I found the courage to speak.

“Yes, he is Thomas Wayne's son, but I’m not Zachary Wayne’s daughter,” I finally said, the reality hitting me all over again.

I cleared my throat as I stood beside the bed awkwardly, a shiver running down my spine. How strange it was to say that out loud. It was real. I don’t think it had truly hit me yet.

It was real.

Arthur offered me his other hand and I took it and moved closer to him. He pulled me against him, gently putting an arm around me for comfort. Penny looked up at me in confusion. “I’m not Anna Wayne or Zachary Wayne’s daughter so… so Arthur and I are not related in any way… we had tests done and it’s confirmed…” finished, letting out a shaky breath.

She stared blankly, blinking her eyes for a few moments in silence as she processed what I had said, “But I followed Anna Wayne’s pregnancy… I remember when you were born, the hospital photos…”

I nodded, understanding her confusion, “I suppose they never wanted anyone to know… I only just got the results back and haven’t even… I don’t know what to do with the information… I haven’t spoken to them… I don’t know what to say… or do…” I sighed deeply, fidgeting anxiously with the zipper of Arthur’s jacket.

“Mom… when I told her about Thomas Wayne, she helped me get tests done to confirm it so that I could confront him with proof. She believed me from the moment I told her, she never doubted it even though I did. I… I haven’t told you but I had confronted Thomas Wayne already, one of those times you had asked me to take him a letter because you were sure they were being lost at the post office. He denied everything. He told me about Arkham... and you... I believed him and that morning at Wayne Enterprises I wasn’t taking him one of your letters… I was taking him one written by me as an apology…” a tear spilled from her eye as she listened. “He didn’t even want that from me, he had the receptionist throw me out…” he shrugged, “I decided to move on, then Alex came to find me the next day.

I was shocked that he said Thomas Wayne had ordered the receptionist to throw him out… he had known that Arthur had come to Wayne Enterprises that morning with a letter and he had asked them to throw him out, and he had probably told that receptionist to never speak of it again… how cruel was that man?!

“I confronted Thomas Wayne too, but this time with the proof of paternity in my hands and he became so hateful, so upset… he retorted by speaking in a way that made me question my place in the Wayne family. He tried to take it back but I confirmed it with DNA tests too… so… so I promise that my love for Arthur isn’t wrong. And I do love him Momma P, I love him and adore him with all my heart.”

She took a while to process what we said, realizing what she had put Arthur through by asking him to deliver her letters to Thomas Wayne. She broke down in tears and apologized to him over and over again, apologizing for all she had hurt him. She even apologized to me. We both reassured her that it didn’t matter anymore, that that was in the past. I told her that I was thankful for it because it had brought Arthur and I together and that he and her were one of the best things that had ever happened to me.

It took a while to calm her, and I think what probably ultimately helped was her seeing how much I loved Arthur.

It was a few hours later and she had fallen back asleep. Arthur and I sat in the only chair, me cuddled against him as I sat in between his legs. The Murray show was on quietly.

“I’m glad she was finally able to sleep,” I whispered.

I felt him nod above my head. I closed my eyes and sighed. I felt so warm and safe in his arms. I walked my fingertips up his left forearm gently, all the way up to his elbow then back down. I loved how his cool breath washed over me when he exhaled, the cigarette scent almost entirely gone. I had been so busy that I hadn't realized how he smelled less like that and more like Arthur.

“I’m hungry, after all of this anxiety and fear... I wish I had a tub of those cheese balls, you know? The ones that come in that big plastic tub. Don’t you?”

He literally gagged a little and made a face, “No! No no no!” 

I sat up and looked back at him, “Seriously?”

He shook his head, “I can’t hardly look at them, I have never liked them.”

“Why? Omg you are such a Wayne!” I gasped, then realized what I had said, “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean it like that… it’s just that Bruce literally has the same reaction. I have to pour them into something else and sit far enough that he can’t smell them when we watch movies. It’s just weird because… you reminded me so much of him right then…” 

He chuckled, “it’s okay… I guess that shouldn’t surprise me…” he replied.

I kissed his cheek then snuggled back against him and under the rough hospital blanket as we continued to watch the Murray show.

“Alex, I haven’t had to chance to tell you about… about my condition…” he said after a few moments of silence.

“I’m here to listen when you are ready, and if you ever want to talk about it Artie,” I lifted up to kiss his cheek again.

“Mom had a boyfriend when I was younger… she really liked him. He was nice sometimes, but awful most of the time. I was scared of him.” He began.

I listened, my heart racing. Oh no. Just when I imagined he couldn’t have been through worse.

“He hit us a lot, then would bring her flowers and gifts to apologize. He always said he would never do it again but he always did. He hated me, always threatened me behind her back, told me he was going to kill me, rip my throat out and cut my fingers off… but he made all kinds of promises to mom… always told her he would leave her if she didn’t do what he told her to or if she didn't let him do what he wanted to. He got really angry one night and I can’t remember much about what happened. I just remember waking up alone in a hospital. I didn’t see mom for a long time… I had thought she died. When he was put in jail, mom turned back to Thomas Wayne… then she was put in Arkham. I’ve had this laugh since that night. They say it’s because of a traumatic brain injury. 

“Arthur, I’m so sorry,” I felt tears spill from my eyes as I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. I had the urge and desire to protect him even more, to never let anyone or anything hurt him ever again. Arthur’s life had been full of hardship and tragedy. How could someone that had been hurt so much still be so pure, so kind, so beautiful? I vowed to never let anyone harm him ever again.

“Don’t cry Alex,” he whispered sweetly, “It’s in the past.”

I realized I was sobbing and pulled back, “You didn’t deserve any of that Arthur, I hate that you have been through so many awful, terrible, and frightening situations,” I whispered, “I hate that you have been so mistreated by this life,” I whispered.

“But now I have you,” he replied, as if that was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“And I you, you precious, sweet man,” I whispered back. 

He laughed, “Don’t cry,” he said again, “I have a scar here, want to feel it?” he took my hand and placed it towards the back, right side of his head. I felt the long, roundish scar underneath my fingertips. I was still sniffling as I took his head in both of my hands and placed kisses all over the curls that hid the scar. My heart ached with sadness, how I wished I could have protected him.

He chuckled as I bathed him in kisses. I couldn’t protect him then, but I would protect him now and forever. 

“No more suffering for you Arthur Fleck,” I whispered, taking his face in my hands and looking up into his beautiful emerald eyes, “No more.”

He smiled brightly, the light of his smile illuminating his pretty eyes.

Then, his smile faded and he picked nervously at the top button of his sweater I was wearing. “I also haven’t told you about Mrs. Kane…”


	20. Carnival's Talents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Alex become closer than ever before, and Alex gets to see a new side of Carnival the Clown.

The next day we headed back to Anderson Ave once Penny was discharged. We put her in bed, made her some chicken noodle soup, and she went right to sleep after eating.

Arthur and I washed the dishes together, or mainly he washed them while I hugged him and kissed his face.

Afterwards, we separated the laundry and went down to the first floor to wash everything. As we waited in between loads of laundry, we bought some drinks and some snacks from a street vendor and sat outside to enjoy the warm, afternoon sunlight.

“Alex… I’m sure your family is looking for you,” he said quietly.

“I think they know exactly who I’m with,” I mumbled back and sipped on my strawberry lemonade. He looked over at me, “Babe, please,” I gave him a look, “Instead of that… can we talk about your journal?” I asked.

He thought about it for a moment, then jumped off the ledge we were sitting on and pulled something out of his back pocket. He climbed back up and I quickly held onto his arm to make sure he didn’t fall off until he was back sitting next to me. Our knees were touching and just that little contact with him made my heart race like a teenage girl.

He handed the journal to me. I paused, looking between it and him, then took the folded, well-used notebook, “Are you sure?” I asked and he nodded, “Are you sure sure?” I asked again.

“Yes Alex,” he assured me with a chuckle.

I caressed the cover with my hands softly, appreciating that I had a little bit of my Arthur’s thoughts in my hands. This was amazing to me, mainly because Arthur wasn’t one to speak his mind often but also because sharing something like this must be a big thing for anyone, especially my Arthur. I bit my lip and gently unfolded it, on the front his name and Dr. Kane’s name were written. 

Dr. Kane was the social worker he had to visit 2 times a week. 

To say that I was surprised when Arthur told me that he HIMSELF had also been in Arkham State for a several months is an understatement. He had gotten that painful laugh while he was trying to come clean about it, and I had assured him that he didn’t have to tell me, but he had wanted to. And so he fought that awfully painful laugh and I held his hand until he told me of the incident on the subway. 

I tried to be strong and not cry when he told me that he had pulled out a gun, which he had never intended to use on anyone but himself, and had opened fire to scare some guys that were attacking him. Thankfully, no one was harmed, but he had gotten into serious trouble, had been deemed mentally unstable, and had been sent to Arkham. 

When he was released, he was ordered to see the social worker for close monitoring. She had him keep a journal that he was to show her every week. 

He assured me that currently, he was more than happy, and that I had nothing to worry about. 

But that was easier said than done. 

I paused and looked over at him. He was watching the cars go by, but he was visibly tense, I knew this was a big step for him.

I opened the first page and began to read through some of the entries. A few were of how awful some people had been to Arthur at the grocery store, at work, on the street, on the subway... I realized just how awful people could be. My sheltered life hadn’t allowed me to see the world like this. Again, my urge to protect him became stronger. 

My poor Arthur.

My eyes widened in surprise when I found some newspaper clippings of me, mostly from volunteering events and some of the organizations I had helped out with across our community. Volunteering and helping out was one of the few things I had enjoyed doing because it had allowed me to meet all kinds of people from all walks of life. I also enjoyed being around people who were humble and caring. 

I also found a few clippings from gala events where I was dressed in expensive designer gowns, my hair made up, those events that took an entire day to get ready for. It made me smile that he had ripped Richard out of the black and white picture.

I smiled to myself, had these always been in here? Had Arthur liked me even before he met me?

There were also some very interesting drawings that were part cutouts and part drawings by Arthur scattered throughout the journal. I looked over at him and he lowered his gaze when I came to those.

Art. That’s all I saw, really and truly. How many paintings of naked woman and men had I seen all over the world? This was a form of modern art, in my opinion. And probably a way to express himself sexually since he had never been able to before. I continued to flip and read, enjoying the glimpse I was getting into his mind, thoughts, even his dreams.

I saw the ones about Sophie, which, not going to lie, kind of made me feel jealous.

I finally got to the entry about meeting me, and pictures of me from that day at the blood drive.

I looked over at him, “You have pictures of me?” I asked, trying to hide my smile by biting my lip.

“After all you saw, that’s what you ask about?” He laughed.

I made a face, “Did you like me before? I thought you said I looked like a typical rich girl that didn’t care about anyone but herself,” I side eyed him.

He sighed, “that was just my impression before knowing you….”

“But I’m still a little surprised that you have clippings of me here,” I continued. I bit my lip, grinning as I shimmied over and began playfully tickling his side, “Did my little Carnival have a thing for me before? Did he?!!!?” I teased.

He chuckled and tried to pull away from my tickling.

“Oh come on, did you? Hmm?! HMMMM?!” I reached around to tickle him so he would have to come towards me.

“Obviously!” he laughed, “Obviously I did. Alex, you’re beautiful, snobby rich girl or not,” he said once I stopped tickling him.

“I knew it,” I replied with a smug, pleased grin.

“Then why were you so surprised?” he teased back.

OHHHHHH THIS SNARKY ARTHUR I HAD NOT YET SEEN!

I gasped at his reply and burst into laughter, almost falling off the ledge but he caught me.

I loved him so fucking much.

If I could get that confidence out of him, he would be a great comedian. His jokes were funny, dark, and original. But he was so timid. I hoped that with all the love I was going to give him, he would come out of that shell and show the world the amazing person hidden within.

Once we settled down and stopped laughing and teasing each other, I flipped back through the journal just to pass the time. I felt his eyes on me and looked over at him.

“You haven’t said much about the other things…” he commented.

“Like… the thoughts? The dark humor? The porn?” I asked and he nodded. “Arthur, we’re all a little different, there’s nothing wrong with your way of thinking or your feelings, it’s your art and expression. If that’s what you’re asking. You have so much talent and art just radiating from you..." I combed his curls away from his forehead with my hand as I looked into his eyes.

He seemed confused, “You aren’t… disgusted?”

“Naw,” I shrugged one shoulder and made a face he often made when he said the exact same thing.

He smiled brightly, “really?”

“Yes babe,” I insisted, “I mean sure there’s very interesting things and thoughts in there, but… but I mean we are all different you know? Most people hide that, they try to bury it and conform to the crowd. There’s no uniqueness, no identity… I think you also try to be what the world expects you to be, we all try to fit in and be like everyone else. I know and I see it because so do I but you know…” I took a deep breath and sighed, “I’m done with it, you know? Fuck it. I’m me, I don’t care for those parties were everyone shows up like it’s the Oscars and gasses each other up, wearing a dress so expensive that it could feed a family for a year. I don’t care for security over unhappiness, I can’t stand Richard and I’m done putting up with his abuse, I’m done with all the lies I was raised with, I don’t care what others think of me or of me being with you… I love you… I want to be with you,” I leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“I love you too,” he replied. I scrunched my nose at him, smiling big before placing another kiss on his lips. I rested my head on his shoulder as I continued to flip through his journal once again, taking the time to really admire the drawings this time.

“Mrs. Kane always seem so… bothered by it, like it’s so bad…” he mumbled, deep in thought.

“She expects you to conform, to fit into the ‘healthy’ descriptions from her textbooks,” I shrugged and lifted my head from his shoulder, looking up at him, “but she doesn’t realize that when you have been though what you have, you aren’t going to fit into a textbook description. Arthur, you are thriving and living, and that is what’s important. I’ll personally send her tickets to Gotham Theater and the Opera House when you perform there,” I smiled.

“Do you really think I will be there one day?” He asked.

“I am sure of it,” I smiled, “And I’ll do everything I can to help you, if that’s your dream,” I leaned over and placed a string of soft kisses on his cheek, “I love you Arthur Fleck,” I smiled softly, “No one can hurt you anymore, my precious angel,” I whispered softly against his skin.

***  
It was late afternoon when we finished the laundry and put it away. Penny came out to find me discussing the business plan I had for the entertainment company with Arthur. We were sitting on the sofa facing each other, my feet buried under his shirt, being warmed by the soft skin of his tummy. The thing I liked most was the feeling of his hands absentmindedly running up and down my shins.

Together, the three of us made and had dinner, then finally made it back to the couch for the Murray show. Our usual family nighttime routine.

As always, I was curled up against Arthur, my arms hugging one of his to me underneath the covers.

When Penny went back to sleep, he and I found ourselves playing around with his clown make up. He told me that he had an idea for a show, and it surprised me a little that he had been thinking about it.

“A dance, but with clowns,” he explained, I now faced Carnival, not Arthur.

“Okay… like comedy?” I asked, knowing he had a thing for jokes.

“No, more… more like a musical. It’s hard to explain…” he sighed.

“Show me!” I replied excitedly. He instantly became self-conscious and uneasy. “Babe, come on!” I begged excitedly, then felt bad for being pushy, “It’s okay though, don’t feel pressured, when you want to and are ready, or if you don’t that’s also okay,” I assured him.

I had to say that I LOVED how he looked with his Carnival make up and no wig, just his glossy, untamed, brown curls. He looked beautiful. There was just something so hauntingly beautiful about the look and it took my breath away.

He thought for a moment and then I watched as he jumped up, put on a button up shirt and pants, picked up an old radio he had stored under the TV stand, then came over and took my hand. I frowned as I stood up, “Are we going somewhere?” I asked and he nodded.

Thankfully, I thought to pick up my phone on the way out. We didn’t really go far from the apartment, but as we kind of ran, me trying to listen and keep up with him and his excitement, he explained that he had been thinking about the lighting, the background, how it would add to the emotion, the colors… my excitement grew and I was honestly a little taken aback when he led me into a dirty, poorly lit, trashy, and smelly bathroom.

I paused, looking around at the dirty, graffiti covered walls.

“I like the colors here,” he said as he sat the radio down on the counter and just switched it to a station that was playing classical instrument music.

Then, he took my breath away completely for the millionth time but in a very, very different way.

I watched in awe as he stopped, listened to the music for a bit with his eyes closed, really taking the feeling of it in, and then he began to dance. His body was graceful, the way he moved so elegant and gentle. I could only stare in awe. He was right, everything was perfect, save for the smell. But the colors were beautiful, in addition to the tragically beautiful tune, his delicate movements, the haunting (usually happy) face of Carnival now… now so heartbreakingly sad, even with the smile he had painted on… it was so, so beautiful. Everything about it!

Thankfully, I had enough sense to pull my phone out. I turn it on DND, lower myself to the dirty floor, and recorded him.

He turned to me after a while, “I’ve also thought about a roof top, like a very colorful background, the smoke and fog from the city… you know… very Gotham…” he shrugged, pushing his curls back nervously, “I don’t know… I… we can just do whatever you think will work…” He noticed I was recording and bowed.

“Arthur!” I jumped up, completely forgetting to stop the video. I ran over to him, shoving my phone in my pocket and taking his hands, “That was literally, LITERALLY so, SO BEAUTIFUL! I HAVE NO WORDS!” I gasped, “THAT WAS AMAZING!” I gasped, throwing my arm around his shoulders and hugging him tightly.

“R-really?” He asked.

“YES REALLY!” I replied, “100% really! SHOW ME MORE!!!!” I begged.

We collected our things and quickly headed to another location that he liked. It was a bridge/overpass that had a beautiful background of grungy, foggy Gotham. It was noisy because of traffic, but all the lights around us reflected on the wet pavement and it was almost like a mirror reflecting the city, and him, from above. He played his music and showed me his dance, which had a different feel than the one before. A few people stopped to watch and I recorded him on my phone again. Some people even asked if he was a professional dancer, which I would be sure to show him.

When he was done, I turned the phone to the small crowd he had, “Thank you all for stopping! This is Arthur and he’s going to be famous.” I looked over at him and smiled as the small crowd gave him a round of applause and even some cash.

I’ll never forget the bright twinkle in his eye, his shy smile as he looked away timidly while standing on the ledge of the bridge, and the moment I knew his future would be so much brighter than his horrific, tragic past.


	21. What Goes up Must Come Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Arthur come to a rude awakening in the middle of their fairytale.
> 
> *There is verbal abuse and violence in this chapter.*

We held hands as we walked back to Anderson Ave in the middle of the night. Gotham city was magical at midnight, as always, but experiencing it with Arthur was a whole new kind of beautiful.

Occasionally, our eyes met and we would smile at each other, the colorful city lights reflected in his and made my heart feel like it was exploding with love inside my chest.

I was so in love with him. I could no longer live without him. I couldn’t remember what life was like before him. I didn’t want to. Now that he was here I felt complete and whole, I felt joy and excitement each morning. I longed to see him and learn something new about him. I desired to help him grow and heal, to support him through the challenges of life and grow old together. I wanted to see him succeed and happy. I wanted all the best for this beautiful person. And I didn’t want to miss any second of his life. I didn’t want to go without seeing his face, feeling his touch, admiring his smile and his soft voice.

He was my everything. 

As we got to the large staircase near his apartment, he stopped then bowed to me, making me giggle in confusion. “Dance with me?” He asked, adjusting the radio he carried before taking my other hand and pulling me close. I watched him in curious amazement as his hand came to rest on my lower back and we began to move gently.

I smiled big as we danced softly under the pale streetlights and up the stairs. I looked between his beautiful eyes, so immensely in love with him that my entire soul soared with excitement. The moment was magical and beautiful and for a moment it was just the two of us.

He spun me, then pulled me back into his arms once we made it to the top of the stairs, then he kissed me deeply.

There was no doubt in my mind that he was my soulmate, that we were meant to be together in this life.

Everything suddenly felt right.

There was a hop to our step as we headed back to his apartment, one of his arms around my shoulders and one of mine around his waist, our hearts soaring, our smiles bright. Mine so big it hurt my cheeks.

He saw it first and I frowned when his smile fell. I was about to ask what was wrong when I too saw it. There were rows of police cars and other expensive vehicles I kind of recognized outside of the apartment building.

My heart sank instantly, then froze in fear when someone we both recognized very well broke through the crowd and stormed over to us.

Rich’s angry eyes were right on Arthur as he shoved whoever was in his path, making his way over to us.

“Rich! RICH STOP!” I yelled, moving in front of Arthur, “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM!”

“HAPPY?! HAPPY!” I suddenly heard Penny scream from somewhere in the crowd. I gasped, no way! NO WAY! They couldn’t have pulled her into this! Please no, not after what she went through already!

“Mom?!” Arthur called back just as Rich grabbed him by the collar.

“You sick fucking CLOWN!” Rich yelled in his face, “You sick fucking bastard! Who the fuck do you think you are? ALEX IS MINE, YOU FILTH! TRASH! THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE, TRASH!” he yelled.

“STOP!” I yelled, pushing and pulling at Rich, slapping his face in an effort to get him to leave Arthur alone. Arthur pushed me aside gently, keeping his arm in front of me to keep me away from Rich’s anger.

“ALEX!” I heard Bruce running over, followed by some police officers.

“FUCKING BASTARD!” Rich continued his insults towards Arthur, “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

“STOP IT!” Bruce growled as he pushed Rich away from us.

Arthur was glaring at Rich, his hands balling into fists, “Alex does not belong to you” He replied, his teeth clenched.

“Arthur, babe, it doesn’t matter,” I whispered, my hands shaking as I tried to calm him, pulling his face down to look at me.

“You are nothing but a disgusting, bastard clown!” Rich snapped, his eyes dark and angry as he stared Arthur down, challenging him to try something. He knew that if Arthur did anything to defend himself or me, he would be taken to prison. 

“Stop it!” Bruce snapped.

“Gotham Police Department! I order everyone to calm down immediately and step away from each other. We need to question Miss Alexandria Wayne and Arthur Fleck,” the officer spoke up.

I caught sight of my parents and swallowed a thick lump in my throat as I quickly hugged one of Arthur’s arms to me and moved close to him. Fear that made me sick to my stomach set in.

“Come here,” Bruce grabbed my arm and pulled me away from Arthur.

“NO!” I snapped, “Bruce I said NO! I SAID NO!! LET ME GO!!” I yelled/cried, struggling against his grasp. He didn’t listen, so I dropped myself to the ground, grabbing onto Arthur’s pant leg.

“Alex, it’s okay, go with him,” Arthur replied calmly, “It’s okay,” he kneeled down to place a soft kiss on my forehead. 

“No! Arthur please no!” I begged, looking up into his eyes and pleading for him to fight with me. Then suddenly Bruce grabbed me around the waist, picked me up, and threw me over his shoulder. I began to yell for Arthur, kicking and punching at Bruce to let me go. I watched as police officers stopped Arthur from coming after me.

Bruce held my arms to my side and placed me into one of my parent’s vehicles. I turned, quickly trying the handle but it was locked. I yelled Arthur’s name, quickly wiping the foggy window with my hands as I sobbed in fear, my vision cloudy with tears as I watched Penny run into Arthur’s arms and she held him as the police handcuffed him and escorted him away.

“NO! NO!! HE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG!” I began to fight again but Bruce pinned my arms to my side.

“Alex, have you lost your mind? What are you doing?” He snapped.

“LET ME GO!” I screamed, “LET ME GO!”

Suddenly the door behind Bruce opened, I turned quickly to look and my anger erupted when I saw him. 

Thomas Wayne. 

I could hardly hold back the anger, the insults, the want to put my hands around his neck and kill him.

“I advise you to calm down Alex, unless you want him to know everything… imagine how much that would hurt him?” He asked. He looked me dead in the eyes and I knew. I knew he wasn’t talking about Arthur, but about Bruce.

“What doesn’t he know?” Bruce asked in confusion, "What are you keeping from him, Alex?" he asked me.

I couldn’t speak. I could hardly breathe. I turned quickly to where I had last seen Arthur and he was no longer there. All I saw was a crowd of police cars keeping everyone out and away from us. Probably making sure no pictures were taken. I screamed, screamed and screamed for Arthur at the top of my lungs as Bruce held me and my parents and their security got into the vehicle with us.

“Calm her down, please, she’s hysterical,” my mom whispered to a woman that had also gotten in but I didn’t recognize. She took out a little bottle and a syringe and I began to kick and scream, begging Bruce for help.

The last thing I felt was a sharp stab on my thigh, and then nothing but nightmares. 

No sign of my sweet Arthur.


	22. *Bruce Wayne Enters the Chat*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce surprises Alex with an alliance.

All I remember was this awful pain as I began to come to. As things began to clear around me, I realized the pain was coming from my head, splitting, throbbing, sickening….

I sat up quickly, instantly feeling dizzy and lightheaded. I jumped and almost screamed when I realized someone was beside me in bed. 

I relaxed when I realized it was Bruce. 

He was sleeping, his arms crossed across his chest, his head falling to the side as he sat on the bed beside me. I took a moment to orient myself, to remember what had happened…

Arthur! 

I slowly moved the covers off me, taking a quick glance over at Bruce before moving to the edge as carefully as I could to not wake him. Just as I stood, he grabbed my arm, making me scream in fright.

“Where are you going?” he asked, his eyes still dull from sleep, his voice groggy.

“Let me go,” I replied.

“I can’t and won’t do that. I don’t know if you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into but it’s enough Alex, but it’s enough,” he warned.

“What I’ve gotten myself into? Really Bruce?! I fall in love and it’s a crime all of a sudden?! I snapped.

“You don’t love him Alex! How could you love someone like him?! You don’t love him, you don’t know what you’re thinking but—”

“I know every well what I feel for Arthur! You have no RIGHT to tell me what I feel!” I yelled at him.

He jumped out of the bed, his grip on my arm tightened, “Stop it Alex!” he warned, “You know what real love is! Don’t let him confuse you! Don’t let this sympathy and pity you have for him do this to you!”

I jerked my arm from his grasp and when he didn’t let go, I began to fight against him, “I DON’T PITY HIM! I LOVE HIM! I KNOW WHAT I FEEL AND I KNOW THAT I LOVE HIM!” I yelled.

“THAT ISN’T LOVE ALEX! WHAT I, WE, YOUR FAMILY FEELS FOR YOU IS!”

I instantly stopped fighting him, his words making me realize that I was hurting him.

“WE love you…” he repeated, “I love you.”

I stood there frozen to the ground, torn between them and Arthur. Between Bruce, who was like my brother, and the beautiful man that I loved more than life.

“So I can’t love Arthur and my family?” I asked.

“No—no Alex… that’s not what I meant. I meant to say… he’s… he’s using you, he’s taking advantage of you—”

“Don’t say that. Don’t Bruce. You have no idea how wrong you are,” I shook my head.

We stared at each other in silence.

“If you love me, if you all really love me, you will allow me to be with the man I love,” I whispered, “if you care about me Bruce, my B… then you won’t let them take him away from me…” I begged, pleading with my eyes.

“Alex… I would do anything, ANYTHING for you but not that,” he shook his head, “I can’t stand around and watch someone take advantage of you.”

“B… haven’t you seen how awful Richard is to me? He is the one that is taking advantage of me! He knows that he has the power to treat me as awful as he wants and that my family is actually going to be on his side! You prefer that I be with him then with someone who adores me and is nothing but warm and gentle and loving towards me?” I asked, my eyes searching his.

He hesitated, “Alex…” he shook his head.

We were interrupted right then by a knock on the door and then my parents came in.

My parents. I felt like I didn’t know these people anymore. 

It was like a business meeting with all of them discussing my personal life. I half listened to them but tried to desperately plead my case, insisting that I loved Arthur and that this wasn’t an act of rebellion, or a form of punishment towards them, or me letting someone take advantage of me. Nothing I said mattered, and so I realized there was no point in continuing to argue.

I knew this wasn’t the end of it, and because we didn’t reach an agreement, they placed me under 24 hour supervision, blocked Arthur’s number from all phones I had access to and tried to erase him from my life.

Thomas Wayne visited me later that same night.

He walked around my room as I sat on the edge of the bed. 

While I was out, they had removed my cast, which Arthur had used one night to sketch some jokes and even drawings on. Now they were gone too...

It was like they had tried to remove everything that could remind me that he existed.

“I’m just going to get right to the point,” he stopped in front of me, “A lot of work and money has been put into keeping that mistake a secret, don’t make me go the extra mile.”

I was afraid of him in that moment.

“Just be a good girl, let’s leave all of this behind us,” he continued, “Rich is a good man, he’ll take good care of you. Even after the mess you got into with that bastard. You should be thankful.”

“What do you mean ‘extra mile’?... Would you hurt him? Would you really do something like that?” I was terrified. What if he had already hurt Arthur?! “Bastard? He’s your son… your flesh and blood…” I could feel tears of fear, anger, and sadness collecting in my eyes and blurring my vision.

He just smiled.

“I won’t let you do that! You won’t hurt him!” I warned.

“And what will you do to stop me? Go to the police, who I sponsor and financially support?” he laughed like that would be the funniest thing to see, “He’s a nobody Alex, no one will care if he turns up dead under a bridge somewhere. And what would that do to Bruce? Don’t you care about him? Why don’t you just stay in your lane and nothing has to happen to either of them,” he shrugged. 

When I didn’t say anything he smiled, wished me a good night, and left.

Even with this new fear, I knew I would find a way back to my precious Arthur and that I would find a way to protect both him and Bruce.

But in that moment, I was terrified.

A few days later, I became desperate. Days of going to university, to Wayne Enterprises, several awful dinners with Rich and his family who did nothing but question me about my “clown” friend in the most mocking, condescending way imaginable, I knew I couldn’t go another day without seeing him.

I knew I was risking a lot, but that night I shamelessly begged Bruce to help me.

He had come over for a movie that night and so my “security” wasn’t on alert.

We were sitting alone in front of the TV and I had been thinking all day of how I would even ask him something like this knowing how he felt about Arthur and the whole situation.

“B…” I began, quietly looking over at him.

“Hmm?” he asked, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth, his eyes glued to the screen.

“B… you are the only person that can help me and...”

He looked over at me, narrowing his eyes.

“And I cannot go another day without seeing him… please—”

“Stop,” he shook his head, “just… don’t Alex,” he warned.

“Bruce, please… please…” I begged, sliding off the couch and onto my knees.

“Alex get up,” he shook his head, looking away from me. He couldn’t even stand to look at me like that, begging, on my knees…

“Bruce please! I have to see him! Please help me!” I felt tears spilling from my eyes but tried to be strong, “I haven’t heard from him or seen him since that day and I’m scared, I feel like I’m dying inside and I have to see him!”

“I haven’t heard anything from him either, maybe he’s realized he won’t get what he wants from you,” he snapped.

“Bruce… please…” I took one of his hands in mine.

He tossed the bowel of popcorn aside and sighed angrily. Finally, without a word, he stood, angrily mumbling and huffing as he went to the door, “We’re going out for ice cream, no need to come with us,” He told the security men guarding outside.

“Sir—”

“If you have a problem we can call my uncle,” he offered.

I waited excitedly, and when he motioned me over, I jumped up and ran over.

It was almost a surreal experience going down the stairs, outside, walking through the garage without security following me. Even more so knowing that I was going to be able to hold Arthur once again.

“Do not make me regret doing this,” Bruce said as he started his car.

“I will never be able to repay you!” I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly, “Thank you so much B!”

To my shock, only about a quarter of a mile down the driveway after we left the gates, we came up to a figure walking down the road. As the headlights got closer, Bruce slowed the car and the man stopped and turned. 

I gasped, it was Arthur!

Bruce hadn’t fully stopped the car yet when I unlocked the door and jumped out. He called after me but my eyes were only on one person.

“Arthur!” I screamed. His eyes widened and brightened when he saw me. He froze and I almost knocked him over as I crashed into him, throwing my arms around his neck and squeezing him into the tightest hug I could muster. It took a while for me to feel his arms slowly embrace me.

I pulled back and took his face into my hands. Oh god. He looked exhausted. And thinner, if that was even possible for Arthur. “Babe,” I whispered sadly, inspecting him. He had bruises on his face, a fresh cut above his brow so his right eye was slightly swollen, and his clothes were dirty, like he had been rolling around on the ground. I noticed he had white grease paint under his chin, typical, but why were his clothes dirty?! I began to pat him with my hands, checking for anything abnormal. He jerked way when I patted his side and I looked up at him, “What happened? Arthur, babe, what happened?” I asked.

“Nothing Alex,” he whispered softly, taking my face into his hands, “Nothing…” he replied. The way he looked at me made me feel that he didn’t quite believe it was me.

I turned to Bruce for answers as he came up to us.

“Alex…” Arthur whispered in disbelief.

“He’s been out here messing with the security…” Bruce explained, avoiding my eyes.

“Messing with them?” I snapped, “TRYING TO SEE ME?” I yelled, "I thought you said you hadn't heard from him!"

“It’s not his fault… I just... I had to try to see you...” Arthur tried to defend Bruce.

I turned back to him, “Did they hurt you? Did they hurt you Arthur?!” I tried to pull his shirt up to see but he twisted way from my ever-insistent hands.

“No, no, I’m okay,” he promised, “Alex, I’m fine,” he insisted.

“Let me see!” I snapped at him. He looked between me and Bruce shyly, and I had a feeling he was slightly embarrassed in front of who he knew to be his younger brother.

He looked away, trying to stop his laughter, keeping his eyes on the ground as I lifted his shirt and inspected him in front of Bruce. I felt bad that it was bringing out his pathological laughter but I had to make sure he was okay. He twisted way and flinched when I touched the large red (clearly outlining a footprint) tender spot that was forming a few inches down from his armpit. “What the hell?!” I snapped. It was hard to see just how bad it was with just the light from the headlights but I did see he had other nasty, purple bruises and cuts, a particularly bad one following his entire right hip bone.

“Can we get out of the road before someone sees us?” Bruce snapped.

“What the hell is all of this?!” I snapped, “Who did this to you?” I demanded from Arthur, who was trying not to laugh. Bruce stormed over and began to shove both Arthur and I towards the car.

“Umm—It’s—um—” Arthur was trying to understand what was happening, avoid my question, hold back his laughter, and not stumble at the same time while Bruce shoved him into the back of the car and slammed the door behind him. Bruce and I argued outside for a few short seconds before he let me get into the back with Arthur.

“Arthur, sweetheart, what happened?” I asked as soon as I was in the back with him with the door closed behind me. I took his face into my hands, placing a soft kiss on his lips and tenderly caressing his face with my hands, “Hey, it's okay, it's okay,” I spoke gently. My heart broke. He held his lips tightly shut, his teary eyes held fear as he glanced over at Bruce who was now driving, then back at me as he held back laughter. “Baby, it's okay, I’m here,” I whispered, trying to calm him.

“What’s so funny?! Huh?” Bruce snapped, looking at us through the rearview mirror, “You think all of this is funny? I was willing to risk everything for Alex, I am risking everything because she begged me to help her see you and you laugh like it’s funny?!” He snapped.

“Bruce stop!” I warned, “Please… just stop,” I whispered, turning back to Arthur, “He can’t help it. He isn’t laughing, he doesn’t find any of this funny… so please just stop.” I begged.

“What do you mean he isn’t laughing?” Bruce snapped, “Look at him!”

“Bruce please!” I begged.

I pulled Arthur into my arms, hugging his dusty brown curls to my chest as he muffled his laughter against me. “I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry… I was scared, I was so scared,” I whispered to him. I felt awful, I overreacted and everything he was going through was my fault.

Bruce shook his head and drove into the city in silence. In fact, there was nothing but silence after Arthur’s laughter stopped. It was late but as always, the city was busy. Bruce pulled into an empty high-rise parking lot and turned the car off. All kinds of colors from the city reflected through the tinted windows, yet somehow it was still fairly dark around us.

We were all silent for a long while. By then, Arthur was no longer in my arms but I in his and they held me tightly. I kept my eyes closed, hoping to the Gods that I wasn’t dreaming that he was really here with me.

I heard Bruce shuffling in the front seat and opened my eyes to see him staring back at us, particularly at Arthur.

“Listen up, Arthur Fleck, clown, or whatever you are--” he snapped.

“Bruce,” I warned him, sitting up.

But he continued, “Alex IS my sister, I will protect her with my life, I will kill anyone that tries to hurt her, I will turn you inside out if you dare so much as make her shed a single tear… You better, I swear you BETTER not be playing with her if you know what’s good for you, do you hear me? Do you understand what I’m saying?!” he warned, his brown eyes dark with menace and threat.

“Bruce!” I snapped again.

To my surprise, Arthur nodded, “I understand…” he replied, looking down as he fidgeted with a tear on the knee of his trousers, “I love her and I would do anything for her… anything to make her happy… Alex is my whole world and I give you my word, even if that doesn't mean anything to you... I love her and I am not playing with her.” He looked up at Bruce as he finished the last few words.

He had never said that to me, he never spoke like that and it made my vision cloud with tears. I tried to be brave and blink them back, but they spilled as Bruce stared back at Arthur, then offered him a hand.

Arthur quickly (and nervously) rubbed his hand clean on his trousers, then took Bruce’s hand and the brothers shook hands. I began to sob, not just because of the exchange, but because of what this probably meant for Arthur.

“Alex, why are you crying?” Bruce exasperatedly shook his head, “I just said I’d have to beat his ass if he made you cry!"

I couldn’t help but laugh as I choked on my tears and Arthur took me into his arms once again, "You BOTH are a bunch of clowns," I mumbled. 

Arthur genuinely laughed and Bruce rolled his eyes, but this time with a smile on his face.


	23. The Little Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I sat in the back cuddling against Arthur as we drove through the city. For a long while, it was silent and I watched Arthur, smiling as he kissed my hands softly.

My whole heart. He was my whole, entire heart.

I glanced at Bruce who was switching the radio stations and driving, paying no mind to us at the moment. I glanced at Bruce quickly again before leaning up to kiss Arthur softly.

“Hey,” Bruce snapped, “none of that,” he warned.

I rolled my eyes, feeling like a child being chaperoned. 

“Watch your eyes,” Bruce snapped.

I shook my head and focused back on Arthur, “Babe, what happened?” I asked him again, “The guards did this to you?”

“He’s been at the gate every morning and every night, he was told to go and never come back, and because they knew they could, they had fun with it.” Bruce explained.

I looked back at Arthur quietly, studying the brothers silently. Would anything change if Bruce found out that Arthur was his brother?! Would it hurt him like Thomas Wayne said it would? He would be shocked, no doubt… but he trusted Arthur enough to allow me to be with him… that had to change things, right?

“How could they be so awful,” I sighed, “I don’t want you at the gates anymore, okay? You go home, and to work, and we will see each other some other way, okay? I promise, even if Bruce doesn’t help me, I’ll find a way,” I kissed his cheek again.

“Stop being dramatic,” Bruce snapped, “I’d rather help you then let you do something stupid.”

I looked at Arthur and rolled my eyes with a smirk. A smile slowly spread across his face.

“You better watch those eyes!” Bruce warned me again, making Arthur chuckle next to me.

I felt like I was leaving a part of my soul when we drove Arthur back to Anderson Ave. I watched as he stayed behind, standing there alone in the street as Bruce drove away. I couldn’t wait for the day that I could be with him forever, never having to say “see you soon” but “goodnight” instead.

I worked on editing the videos I had taken of Arthur the rest of the night, preparing them for a promotional add. Bruce was intrigued with the footage and the concept. We ended up discussing the business, how to promote, and how to make it successful. We were business majors after all, Bruce an established business man already for such a short career.

“Just the Wayne name will be enough for promotion,” he commended.

“It won’t have the Wayne name in any form or fashion,” I replied, “I’ve already registered and patented the name, and I’ve registered it under Arthur, it will be called Happy Entertainment.”

“Wait,” Bruce laughed, reaching over and rotating my chair towards him, making me face him, “Alex, you are giving him all of your work! This is all your work! Your name has got to be in there somewhere, please tell me you are being smart about this!” He snapped.

“B, it’s an entertainment company based on HIS talent, this has nothing to do with me!” I replied, “Do you see this?” I asked, motioning to the computer screen, “This is his, this isn’t mine,” I took a moment to admire the aesthetic that Arthur had created. In the frozen frame, his arms were above his head, delicately flowing to the music that we had played but momentarily paused now on my monitor. His beautiful eyes, ever expressive and dazzling, matching the background and lighting so perfectly as they gazed at the ceiling above. His painted face haunting but so stunning and beautiful…

I looked back at Bruce, “This is Arthur’s talent... I’m just the one that’s going to help him show it to everyone. I don’t care about the money or any of that, I only care about helping Arthur.”

He sighed, shaking his head at me and my decisions but to my surprise, he didn’t argue further. He even continued to offer suggestions. I ended up falling asleep on my table and dreaming of my beautiful, dancing clown.

The next day, I posted the video on all my social media platforms.

***

“Take it down,” My mother ordered me.

I was sitting in front of a mirror, my entire styling team hurrying around me, getting me ready for a stupid dinner party that I was being forced to attend with Rich and his family.

“Everyone has already seen the video, what’s the point?” I asked her.

“I’ll have to ask them to remove all access to your social media accounts Alex, you leave me no choice!” She warned, “I will contact Elena.”

Elena was a friend of hers that had strong influences on Instagram and the like. I suspected she would ask them to delete the post.

“So you are really trying to take everything away until this is basically prison, right? Isn’t it bad enough that you are forcing me to go to this awful dinner party with a man that I can’t stand?”

“He is your fiancé!” She insisted.

“I am not going to marry Richard Stevens,” I replied simply.

“You will, you will and you will love him Alex. He’s the right man for you.” She replied, “You just don’t see it yet. In the future, you will thank me for looking out for you and helping you down the right path.”

At the dinner party, which was to celebrate some award Rich’s father had been honored with, all questions from the media that came to me were about the video, Arthur, and the show that I had scheduled in one of the small, downtown auditoriums. I talked and discussed the concept and idea, the talent, and Arthur, who everyone was now curious to know more about. I was so excited that it was hard to hide. I ignored questions about how I knew Arthur and what exactly he was to me.

As the night rolled on and every single question was about the video, Rich grew more and more angry. Finally, he snapped at a reporter.

“Why don’t you ask about what’s important? Like the fact that we’re getting married sooner than originally planned?” He asked.

The reporter was flabbergasted, almost as much as I was.

I didn’t know what to say or do as every reporter rushed over for the story. He grabbed my face at one point as he talked about plans that I knew nothing about, locking me against him with his other arm, and kissed me in the most disgusting way.

He did nothing but laugh and mock me as I silently cried the entire drive back from the party. At one point, he tried touching me and we fought in the car. He pinned my hands down but I managed to free my leg, lift it up, and kick him square in the jaw.

He was so angry the rest of the way, his lip busted and bleeding, that he didn’t try anything again that night.

Only the security men and housekeepers were home when we arrived as my parents were still at the dinner party. I ignored them as I rushed up and into my room and slammed the door closed behind me. A few moments later, Bruce rushed in after me, still in his Armani tux, fresh out from the same awful party I had just gotten back from.

I threw myself onto the bed and buried my face into the pillows, screaming and yelling into them in anger and frustration. Bruce came and sat next to me, placing a hand on my upper back, trying to comfort me.

He sighed as he watched the mess I was. 

“Change. I’m going to talk to the security men,” he ordered suddenly. 

He stepped out and I stopped crying for a moment, sitting up and listening to him talk to the guards outside my door. When he came back, he snapped at me for not being ready, “Do you want to get ice cream or not?” He snapped his fingers.

I changed into the first thing I could find and off we went. He took a different route in case they followed us and parked away from Arthur’s apartment. He had to run after me as I hurried down the street to Arthur’s.

Arthur was waiting outside, which I hadn’t expected, did he know we were coming? He was sitting on the edge of the sidewalk and jumped up as soon as he heard me call his name. I broke into a full sprint, sobs beginning to escape from my lips.

“Arthur!” I yelled for him, crashing into his arms and making him take a few steps back to keep from falling. Bruce caught up to us a few seconds later, panting. I collapsed, my knees giving out, my cries ripping through my chest as I felt his arms around me. He supported my weight, letting me bury my face against the crook of his neck. I let out all of my anger, fear, desperation, and frustration in the safety of his embrace. I allowed the wall of bravery I always tried to keep strong crumble now that I was safely in his arms.

I felt his hand caress the back of my head softy, the soft weight of his head as he rested it against the side of my head, his other arm held me up securely against him. I had handfuls of his tan jacket in my fists, afraid he would be taken away from me. I hated that my face was a complete mess. My make up running everywhere, snot dripping from my nose, tears and sweat covering my face… I was a complete mess.

“Rich told everyone that they are moving the wedding to an earlier date,” Bruce explained.

I felt Arthur nod against my head, quietly processing the information.

“She’s upset, clearly,” Bruce replied with a sigh. I felt Arthur nod again as he continued to soothe me. “I really wish my uncle and aunt would just drop it. I really don’t know why they are so insistent on Richard,” Bruce continued, “Honestly… I don’t know if that’s even true or if he just decided that today. I haven’t been told if it is. But now that he’s said it…”

“They are just trying to look out for her future,” Arthur replied. My sweet Arthur, always giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.

“What kind of future is this?” Bruce asked, and I knew his eyes were on me, “She hates him...”

I pulled back then, looking up at Arthur desperately, “I don’t want to marry him! Arthur, I don’t want to marry him! I don’t want to! I want to be with you! I just want to be with you!” I cried desperately, pleadingly.

He nodded, his sad green eyes looking between mine. I knew there was nothing he could do about that, absolutely nothing. And yet, I just needed him to tell me that everything would be okay. I just needed him to say those words to me.

He did one better.

He hesitated, looking over at Bruce as he swallowed a thick lump in his throat. He pulled away from me, struggling a little because I didn’t want to let go of him. Bruce watched in confusion, taking a step towards us, not knowing what to prepare for. 

“Arthur?” I asked, my voice a cracked, terrified whisper. I felt so cold without his thin, strong arms around me. I was trembling, my hands reaching for him as he stepped back and away from me and then… got down on one knee.

“Wait a minute!” Bruce snapped, quickly closing the distance between us, “What the hell are you doing?!” he barked at Arthur.

I gasped, covering my mouth with my hands. I was in utter shock, everything stopped in that moment under the streetlight lit sidewalk, on that dirty, gritty Gotham City street. My eyes widened as Arthur reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a little black box.

“ARTHUR!” I gasped, my eyes once again filling with tears but for a whole new reason.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Bruce snapped at Arthur, shoving him angrily, “Are you insane?! Are you FUCKING INSANE?!?!” he yelled, face red.

We both ignored him completely, as if he wasn’t desperately yelling for us to reason. I really didn’t know if in that moment he was right or wrong or if Arthur and I were both really insane.

“Alex, I know that I have nothing to give you and that I don’t deserve you but… I love you and… a-and w-will you marry me?…” Arthur whispered in that soft, sweet, tender voice that I adored with all my heart.

“YES! YES!!!!! I’LL MARRY YOU ARTHUR FLECK! YESYESYESYESYES A MILLION TIMES YES!!!!” I screamed, throwing myself into his arms once more.


	24. Too Far Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is beyond the point of no return, but Arthur begins to realize that things are not as simple as Alex makes them seem.
> 
> Warnings for sexual situations and mature language.

I couldn’t stop admiring the shiny ring on my finger as I laced my fingers with Arthur’s long, thin ones. It looked vintage, probably handed down to him from Penny, I imagined. It was small and delicate, I already loved it so much more than anything I had ever owned.

“You are insane Alex, I don’t know what has come over you!” Bruce snapped. He looked like he was about to explode with anger. I should be worried, but at that moment I was too happy to care.

We were sitting in Arthur and Penny’s living room. Penny and gone to bed, thankfully, so she wasn’t awake to see the argument.

“And what are YOU thinking?” He snapped at Arthur, “Are you even thinking?!”

“SHHHHH!” I shushed him, looking up from my ring, “Penny is sleeping!”

“Who is Penny?!” Bruce asked, looking around the apartment.

“Arthur’s mom, and she’s sleeping, so keep your voice down!” I replied in a hushed whisper.

Bruce shook his head, placing his hands on his hips and pacing for a few minutes, trying to calm down. 

When Bruce finally spoke again, his voice was calmer, “I just don’t think this is a good idea,” he said, sitting down in the recliner that Penny usually sat in.

“I love him B. What else matters?” I asked.

“You parents will never accept it…” he replied.

“They don’t have to, they don’t even have to know… right now, I mean…” I reminded him.

“What do you think of this?” He asked Arthur.

“I love Alex…” he replied quietly.

“But you have to think about everything else too,” Bruce reminded him.

“I don’t want her to argue with her family—”

I cut him off, turning his face to mine, panicking that this might make him change his mind, “Babe, don’t worry about that, they should accept my love for you and if they don’t, then that’s not our problem. I want to be with you, you and no one else,” I whispered, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“Do you even understand what that means? Alex, they would disown you, they would make you sign over your rights to Wayne Enterprises, they would probably stop talking to you all together… they would be furious.” I knew Bruce was right but that honestly didn’t matter to me. I had gone into this knowing that already.

“I don’t want that for you,” Arthur replied, his eyes sad as he looked between mine.

“Babe!” I placed another soft kiss on his lips, “I don’t care about any of that, I’ve already told you that sweetheart,” I whispered, “we can get through anything together, I don’t need any of that to be happy, I just need you!” I insisted, “Just my Arthur,” I caressed his cheeks with my thumbs as I held his face in my hands.

“You need more than love to survive, Alex. You will realize that when you don’t have a penny to your name,” Bruce replied, “You are accustomed to a completely different lifestyle.”

I looked over at him, “I can’t wait to prove to you how wrong you are Bruce, the fact that you think that way completely throws me for a loop because I thought you knew me better.”

“Alright, whatever. Let’s just go,” he sighed, “I’m tired and I frankly don’t have any more energy to argue with you.” He snapped his fingers.

I clung onto Arthur, not wanting to leave, “we just got here and have literally been arguing the entire time! Please?! I hardly get to see him!” I begged.

He gave in and took a seat once again, not exactly happy with having to do so. I turned the old TV on and found some typical action movie and we watched it quietly.

“Babe, don’t worry about any of that, okay?” I whispered to him, noticing that he was more distant. I was so mad at Bruce in that moment for filling his head up with all those ideas, “Okay?” I placed my finger on his chin and turned his face to mine. He looked into my eyes and nodded.

I rested my head against his shoulder, absentmindedly running my hand up and down his thigh. My eyes flickered over to Bruce, who was fighting heavy eyelids and I waited, observing him until they finally closed.

“Let’s go for a walk,” I whispered, standing quietly and pulling him up with me. I left my phone on the table so Bruce knew I planned to return, but very carefully took the keys out of his pocket. 

We headed out into the chilly night, walking the silent streets hand in hand. 

“Arthur, please don’t worry about what Bruce said. You know that none of that matters to me,” I said, hugging his arm against me.

“It’s your family Alex…” he replied quietly. 

“They will be mad, but they can’t be mad forever, if they really love me,” I replied, “As far as everything else, you know that it doesn’t matter to me,” I whispered. I closed my eyes, feeling his warmth against me but squeezing his icy fingers in my hand gently, “you’ve been here for me more than they have in my 20 years,” I replied, “I guess they think that all they have to do with an adopted daughter is give her unlimited money and she will be happy…”

He was silent again for a while, deep in thought. I stopped walking, making him also stop. He turned to me.

“Stop thinking so much. I mean it, come here,” I tugged on his hand and he came over to me. I slithered my arms under his jacket and around his waist, pulling him against me. I closed my eyes and lifted up onto my tip toes, placing kisses on his lips softly, “I’ve missed you,” I whispered.

“I have too, Alex…” he swallowed thickly under my lips as I trialed kisses down his jaw and neck, his pulse quickening as I showered his skin with soft kisses.

“I love you so much, Arthur Fleck…” I breathed, “I can’t wait to be your wife… and take care of you… and kiss you any time I want…”

“Alex…” he whispered again, making my heart race in excitement. His lips parted, eyes closed, and I could feel him get hard against my abdomen. I loved how his beautiful eyes fluttered every time my lips pressed against his skin, and how he shivered when I traced my tongue up the pulsating veins underneath the smooth skin of his neck. 

I stopped, looking up at him and taking his hands, “I’ve got the car keys,” I whispered, pulling him back towards his apartment where the car was parked.

“Keys?” He asked, confused. I gave him a look, then pulled him to me for another kiss on the lips. He caught on.

Without saying anything, we hurried back down the street and crossed it when we got to the car. I unlocked it just as we came to it and he opened the back door for me. I pushed him to get in and climbed into his lap when he did. As soon as he closed the door, I wrapped my arms around his neck and began to kiss him harder, pushing his head back against the head rest. 

I felt desperation like never before. Burning me, making me feel hot, like I was going to burst into flames. I felt so hot in that moment that I had to get naked, despite the fact that it was below freezing outside. I shed the sweater that he had let me borrow, the hoodie I was wearing, then lifted off his lap, kicking my shoes off so that he could remove my leggings and underwear. 

I bit my lip as his cold hands pulled my clothing off and I shuffle on top of him until he got them all the way off. Amazing how I was already out of breath and panting. I quickly began to unfasten his pants and he let me do that while his cold hands caressed my naked thighs softly, making goosebumps spread across my skin. 

I took his erect manhood into my hand and stroked it, kissing him hard as he moaned deeply into my lips. 

I had him melting. 

Suddenly, I wanted it in my mouth. I quickly moved off his lap and onto my knees in between his legs. He about to ask what was happening when I took him into my mouth before he could protest, because I know he would protest. 

“Al-lex!” he gasped, his voice cracking when the head of his cock hit the back of my throat and I gaged on it. 

The sounds that left his lips while I pleasured him with my mouth were so, absolutely beautiful. 

Our eyes held each other as I sucked him off and I could tell he was trying hard not to cum. I took all of him into my mouth several times, coughing and choking as I sucked and pleasured him. Beads of sweat began to appear on his handsome face and he quickly removed is jacket, never breaking eye contact with me.

Suddenly he took my hand and pulled me up. I quickly crawled on top again, straddling him. It took a little moving forward, then back, then forward again to find the position that would let me sink down completely onto him. I sat down on it slowly, both of us moaning in relief, then I began riding him hard, impaling myself on him as hard and fast as I could. 

He wrapped his arms around my waist, looking up at me with dark, hooded eyes, practically melting into the back seat as I fucked him with urgency. 

I squeaked/moaned, biting my lip as I arched my back, leaning back and placing my hands his knees, spreading my knees apart and bouncing quickly, desperately, until I came hard. My body tensed, I went flying, and my legs quivered against his hips. The feeling of pure bliss consuming me entirely. 

His arms tightened around my waist suddenly, pulling me down onto him. He grunted, lifting his hips up into me as he pressed me down simultaneously.

I grinned, biting my lip as I watched him basically melt underneath me and into me. I felt his seed spread inside me. Hot, thick, and delicious. 

“I’m sorry—” he grunted before he even finished.

“Shhh,” I put my hand over his mouth, “Cum. Give it all to me.” I breathed, “Give it all to me Arthur,” I rolled my hips and he lost it, melting even more into the car seat. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck, continuing to grind my hips into him until he grabbed them and held them still with shaking hands. That only turned me on even more, because I knew I had taken him to the point that he couldn’t take it anymore.

Suddenly, he picked me up and threw me onto my back, giving it to me hard. I gasped/moaned, holding onto the car door as he destroyed me. His manly roughness unleashed and untamable. 

And there I was, on my back, legs wide open, getting my guts rearranged when suddenly a knock on the window made me scream, both Arthur and I jumped up, I grabbed the first thing I could (his jacket) and covered my naked body from the waist down with it. 

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” Bruce yelled.


	25. The Clown Downtown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three amigos pull a heist. Not really but kind of.

“Bruce?!” I gasped, feeling sick to my stomach. I scrambled to find my clothes, Arthur only had his pants down, so he was decent in seconds.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR ALEX!” he yelled as he tried the door and it didn’t open. 

The windows were fogged over so I couldn’t even see him, but maybe that was a good thing, because he couldn’t see us either. I only had my panties on when Bruce yelled again, so I opened the fucking door, still covering myself with Arthur’s tan jacket. 

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” Bruce yelled, “YOU! GET OUT!” He yelled at Arthur. 

“BRUCE!” I yelled, rushing to finish putting my leggings back on. I could feel the semen ooze out of me as I hurriedly tried to finish dressing. 

Arthur did as Bruce ordered, quickly getting out of the car without argument and before I could stop him. 

“DO YOU REALLY THINK ITS OKAY TO BRING HER OUT HERE FOR THIS?! Bruce yelled at him.

“Stop yelling!” I snapped, finally getting my leggings on and quickly hurrying out, no shoes and all, “everyone is going to hear you!” 

“Do you?!” he lowered his voice but didn’t look away from Arthur for a second. He shoved him back, making his back hit against the car.

“I—” Arthur began but I cut him off. I didn’t want him to apologize for something that wasn’t his fault.

“Bruce!” I sighed, shoving him away from Arthur, “he didn’t bring me out for this, just… just calm down, okay?” I asked, too tired to argue with Bruce again, “We came out to talk, we were walking and…” I shrugged, trying to think of what to say, “And it’s not his fault okay? Stop blaming him.” I looked up at Bruce, feeling a little embarrassed at the fact that he knew what I was doing in the backseat with Arthur… but what could I do now? 

“Get in the car, we’re leaving,” Bruce ordered me.

“Bruce—”

“Get in the car Alex,” he snapped.

At that moment, I knew it was better not to argue. 

I grabbed Arthur’s jacket from the back seat, wrapped it around him, making sure he had the hood on, then hugged him tightly. I took his face into my hands, “Hey, it’s alright,” I whispered to him, “we’ll talk tomorrow, go up and get some rest, my love. Don’t worry about a single thing. I love you,” I whispered, giving him a soft kiss on the lips before running around the car and getting into the passenger’s seat. 

Bruce gave him a stare down before he got into the driver’s side without another word. I turned back, once again my heart breaking as we drove off and I had to leave him behind.

“You really like him, don’t you?” Bruce asked after a long while. By now we were back on the interstate. 

I shook my head, “I love him,” I replied.

“And you know what bothers me the most?” Bruce asked as he drove.

I frowned, turning to look at him.

“I like him too,” he replied, shaking his head.

I bit my lip as I smiled big, my heart racing with happiness and excitement. If only Arthur could hear him say that…

“I would give you a hug and a kiss but… I don’t think you would like that right now,” I teased.

He gave me a look of disgust and I giggled at him.

***

Bruce and I had had to prepare everything over the phone over the next few weeks leading up to Arthur’s first show. Somehow, Bruce had gotten involved and without me even having to ask him, he had stepped in to take care of the things that I hadn’t been able to in person. 

Arthur, as always, worked late and had time only to make it to practice. Sending him to a room full of people he hardly knew and asking him to dance in front of them was scary, but having Bruce there had helped him a lot. I had only been able to make it to one of his practices and saw how beautiful the show was going to be and I was so excited for him that I couldn’t wait to see the show with the audience.

That afternoon, I again sat in front of a mirror with a team of stylists turning me into a doll, rushing all around me to prepare my look for the night.

Today, coincidently on the same night of Arthur’s show, Wayne Enterprises was holding another dinner party, this time to announce the opening of another branch of Wayne Enterprises in California.

Of course, Rich and his family would also be there, but I had begged to ride with Bruce and even promised to behave if they let me. 

But, Bruce and I had other plans.

As Bruce drove us through the city, the setting sun reflecting against the massive, concrete jungle that surrounded us, I began to feel anxious and nervous, “B… I really can’t thank you enough for helping…”

“Stop it,” He replied, casually switching lanes.

“This means so much to us… really, thank you.”

“Yes, okay, you’re welcome,” he rolled his eyes, glancing over at me. He gave me a smiled and a winked.

We stopped to pick Penny up before heading downtown. When we arrived, Bruce dropped Penny and I off at the entrance and went to park the car. We made our way to the back and found a very nervous, very anxious Arthur. Despite the nervousness I too was feeling, I calmed myself down when I realized he was fighting that painful laughter.

He saw us in the mirror and jumped up just in time for me to run into his arms, “Baby,” I cooed, “It’s okay, everything will be okay,” I promised, “I know you’re nervous now, but as soon as the music plays and you start dancing, it will be okay,” I assured him.

“You—made it,” he hiccuped through a fit of laughter.

“I told you I would sweetheart, I’m here!” I smiled, kissing his sweaty, grease painted face. I stepped out of the way as Penny hugged him too and commented on how sweaty he was.

“We have a surprise!” I smiled.

“A s-surprise?” he asked through another hick up. As if perfectly timed, there was a knock and Bruce opened the door.

With Bruce being around now, we had had to talk to Penny about the fact that Bruce still didn’t know that Arthur and him were bothers and that for the time being, we were going to keep it that way. We also asked her to not mention that she had worked for the Wayne family many years ago. 

I bit my lip at the excitement in Arthur’s eyes when he saw Bruce. He hadn’t expected Bruce to be there, especially because of the famous dinner party the Wayne’s were hosting that same night.

“Ready for the show Fleck?” Bruce asked.

Arthur nodded, still in shock that his brother was also there to see his first show.

I smiled, taking a cloth and carefully beginning to dab the sweat off of his forehead. I blew at his face, gently removing some of the sweat-matted curls that were sticking to his skin.

“Sold out show,” Bruce reminded us.

“He’s got this,” I said proudly, finishing up prepping Arthur, “Sweetheart, everything will be okay, trust me, we’ll be here, just to the right of the stage behind the curtain, Bruce, Penny, and me,” I promised.

He nodded and another knock startled us, “We need you at your place,” one of the stage coordinators peaked in and informed him.

We followed him out, his hand was cold, clammy, and sweaty in mine but he was no longer laughing. I gave him a big kiss before sending him away to take his place on the stage.

The set colors reflected those from the bathroom that night. Around him, many mirrors reflected his graceful, elegant movements as he danced. This show was smaller and more personal. The room was full of people and the music was beautiful, only elevating and making Arthur’s artistic expression even more breathtaking. When a song ended, the room filled with a round of applause, then became quiet again as the music and a new dance began.  
He devoted himself completely to the music and the show, I watched him in awe as I always did, smiling though tears spilled from my eyes as I watched a star in the making. I looked up at Bruce and smiled big when he looked down at me then back up to watch Arthur’s performance. I looked over at Penny and we both squealed excitedly and hugged each other as we admired Arthur’s graceful expression.

When he finished, the crowd stood, giving him a standing ovation and a strong round of applause. I fell even more in love with him as I watched his dazzling green eyes gaze across the sea of people, a smile on his handsome, painted face. He looked over at me, unsure of what to do and I demonstrated a bow and he caught on. He bowed several times and waved shyly at the small sea of people, thanking the crowd before him for coming to his show. He looked over at me again and I mouthed the words “I love you” to him, my heart so full just from seeing the bright smile on his face.

“Not bad Fleck,” Bruce commented as he joined in the applause.

Later that night after we had helped with the cleanup, coordinated the proper return of set pieces, ensured the auditorium was in order, and cut the appropriate checks, we were finally all back in Bruce’s car, this time Arthur was with us. But, we were all much too excited after the success of the night to head home. Except for Penny, who was much too tired for dinner. I didn’t blame her, it was pretty late and it had been a long afternoon.

“Where should we go to celebrate!” I asked excitedly after we had taken Penny back to Anderson Ave to rest, “Dancing?”

“More dancing?” Bruce laughed as he drove.

I couldn’t stop talking about how amazing the entire show was, how proud I was of Arthur, how thankful I was that Bruce stepped in to help because I had no idea how we would have done with without him.

“Arthur, it was so beautiful! The mirrors just… it was amazing! Wow to all of it!” I was so excited as I hugged his arm against me. He laughed shyly at my excitement.

“And it was sold out,” Bruce reminded us. 

“I just know that one day, we’ll be attending a sold out show at Gotham Theater!”

“I believe it,” Bruce agreed.

We picked one of the more low key, but still high end clubs in the upper east side.

Arthur was uneasy, but only initially. I had a feeling this was a completely new experience for him and I did my best to make sure he relaxed and enjoyed himself. As soon as we got a table Bruce ordered some shots.

“You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to,” I yelled into Arthur’s ear. The music was so loud it was hard to hear.

“Are you going to?” He asked me back.

“Yeah, but you don’t have to, really, Bruce will understand,” I promised.

“I’ll try it,” he replied.

“Are you sure?” I asked, wiping a bit of the leftover grease paint from the side of his sharp jaw with my finger.

He nodded, and his eyes followed the platter as they brought them over. Bruce took his and Arthur followed, watching Bruce closely and mirroring his movements.

“To the beginning of Fleck’s career,” Bruce lifted his shot glass.

“To Arthur’s and Happy Entertainment’s success!” I added.

“To having people like you and Bruce in my life,” Arthur added.

My heart squeezed with love for him and I kissed his cheek a million times before we all took our shots. Surprisingly, Arthur took his pretty well, but did cough and grimaced after it went down. Bruce ordered more drinks as I pulled both of them to the dance floor. Our dance was more silly than anything, and it got even more silly and crazy as they continued to bring more and more shots.

I only recall bits and pieces from that night thereafter. I recall a lot of drunk dancing, a lot of laughing and silliness, I hated that I was so drunk that I could only remember Arthur’s jokes for a few minutes after he told them to us. Bruce fell over when he told one about rich people, laughing so hard that Arthur and I struggled to pull him to his feet, all three of us red in the face from so much laughter. 

I remember a lot of shots, at one point I got an Uber and remember the three of us laughing uncontrollably at the many texts and phone calls that came in as soon as I turned my phone on. I remember Arthur and I having to carry Bruce to the Uber as he was passed out from drinking. Arthur and I took advantage of the fact that Bruce was out like a light in the front seat and made out hard in the backseat of the Uber. I don’t remember who told the Uber where to leave us, but we were in Bruce’s penthouses downtown before I knew it.

At one point I woke up and realized I had been sleeping face down in front of the large fireplace. Bruce was sleeping face down on the sofa, his face turned to the side and one of his arms hanging off with his hand resting on the floor.

Arthur was also asleep. He was laying on his side in the lounge chair with a pillow hugged against his chest.

How cute! I couldn’t help but think.

I stood and wobbled over, crawling up to him from the foot of the chair. I drunkenly looked into his face as he slept, then gently brushed a curl from his face before placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“Artie,” I whispered, grinning.

“Hmm…” He replied, eyes still closed.

I placed another soft kiss on his lips, “Won’t you play with me?”

His sleepy eyes opened and his eyebrows raised with my words. It looked like he was trying to figure out if he had heard correctly.

I grinned as I stood back up slowly and he followed, sitting on the edge of the lounge chair, curls messy and heavy drunken/sleepy eyelids as he looked up at me. I took a few steps back, glancing over to make sure that Bruce was still asleep before I slowly moved closer to him, standing in between his legs as I slithered my arms around his neck. I brushed his curls back with my fingers, then leaned down to whisper into his ear, “Last one up the stairs is a loser,” I whispered, then darted to the stairs. 

I heard him running after me and I screamed/squealed, then remembered that we needed to keep Bruce asleep.

I made it about half way up before he caught me around the waist and pulled me to the floor. We fell down laughing then shushed each other.

I grinned, biting my lip as I watched him unzip his pants and pull them down to his mid thigh. I brought my thumb to my lips, smirking and biting my nail as I watched him spread my legs and then pull my hips towards him, “Oooo, that’s a big prop Carnival sir, what does it do?” I teased breathlessly. 

“I would be honored to show you, Miss. Wayne,” he replied, making my heart race with excitement. 

From where we were, I could only see Bruce’s feet. I gasped, pretending that I had seen something down stairs. Arthur tensed, pulling his pants up and looking down, trying to see if Bruce had awaken.

I laughed as I jumped up and ran up the stairs. Arthur grabbed for me and missed, then jumped up, holding his pants up as he chased after me.

I loved this game and couldn’t hold my laughter as I ran from him, teasing him. He caught me again just at the top of the stairs, I didn’t get far at all. He grabbed me around the waist, pulled me to the floor, grabbed my legs and pulled me towards him. I screamed/giggled as he pinned me down with one arm, grabbing both of my wrists into his one hand. Quickly, he pulled his pants down with the other and looked into my eyes as he pulled my panties to the side and thrusted himself deep into me.

I moaned/gasped at the stretch and fullness. He leaned down and kissed me hotly as he started pounding away. It felt amazing, my entire body tingled with delight and pleasure. I closed my eyes and panted as he kissed down my neck while his other hand joined the other above my head and our fingers laced together.

We fucked for a while at the top of the stairs, then he picked me up and stood. I wrapped my arms around his neck and directed him to the guest room as I nibbled his ear. We closed the door behind us and there, we got naked and continued our celebration.

Little did we know Arthur and I would be in for a big surprise soon.


	26. The Beginning of the End?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's fairytale begins to collapse.

We slept in late the following day. Arthur woke up just to call in sick, then, all was silent again until probably 2 in the afternoon. We got sick a few times, each time the other would follow into the bathroom and try to help in some way but eventually the awful sickness passed.

It was probably around 4 when we finally got into the shower together and just stood under the hot water for a long while. I rested my head against his chest and he held me in his arms.

We finally walked out together as the sun was beginning to disappear over the Gotham city skyline.

We found Bruce in the kitchen taking things out to start dinner. As soon as he saw us he dried his hands and grabbed his iPad, “Look at this,” he said, pulling it up on the screen.

He showed us a clip from a local news station in which they talked about Arthur’s show. Then another, and another, and another.

Every review was positive. They had loved it!

“Oh my god!” I screamed.

“They liked it?” Arthur asked in confusion.

“They more than liked it Fleck, you’re all over the news, Instagram, twitter, and pretty much trending on every social media platform,” Bruce replied.

Arthur blinked his big, pretty green eyes as he tried to understand what that meant.

“Babe, you’re famous,” I smiled, “That’s what that means, you’re famous!”

He still looked between the screen, Bruce, and myself, not understanding the level of success he had already achieved.

We celebrated with a nice, fancy dinner. Bruce fired up the outdoor grill while Arthur and I prepped the meat and veggies. Bruce and I blabbered about the next steps we needed to take, more shows, bigger auditoriums, more production, and of course, more promotion, possible TV interviews, and televised shows. Arthur just listened, sometimes asking if people would really want to see it and again we had to remind him how big the response already was.

He was nervous when Bruce took out a bottle of wine and we both assured him that he would only feel as bad as he did all day if he drank too much, but that a little wouldn’t hurt.

I sat with my leg touching his as we ate the dinner the three of us had prepared out on the large balcony that overlooked Gotham City. The night was chilly but perfect as I snuggled against Arthur and sipped my wine. The skyline was beautiful, but even more so reflected in my favorite green eyes.

I would have been happy if we could have stayed there forever. But, after we finished dinner and enjoyed the last few moments together, we got into Bruce’s car (which Alfred had brought back at some point during the day) and took Arthur back to Anderson Ave. I kissed him a million times, wiped some tears that had spilled from my face, and told him how much I loved him and how proud I was of him. Then, we reluctantly headed back home.

We were in serious trouble, Bruce and I.

Both his parents and mine chewed us out for a good few hours about 1. Not being at the Wayne Enterprises dinner party, and 2. For being at Arthur’s show instead.

None of that mattered to me anymore, because Arthur’s big night had been a success and that’s all that mattered.

Or so I thought.

***

I woke up a few nights later to Bruce shaking me awake.

“B?! What are you doing here?” I asked, sitting up and rubbing my sleepy eyes.

“Bug, I just got a call from Penny—”

“Penny?!” I was instantly wake, “Why did she call you?!?!”

“She said Fleck didn’t come back from work last night—”

I jumped out of bed and quickly grabbed a hoodie from the sofa, listening as he talked. I felt a big hole open up in the pit of my stomach. I felt sick. I felt fear and the nausea that came with it.

I’m sure everything was okay. I’m sure there was an explanation for this. I’m sure he was okay...

“How long ago?! When did you talk to her?! Has he called?! When was the last time she heard from him?!” I swarmed Bruce with questions.

“I don’t know, that’s all she told me, she’s called the police and they said that because it hasn’t been 48 or so hours that they won’t do anything. Is it normal for him to do that?!?!” he asked me.

“No! Arthur always comes home! ”I replied, feeling hot tears spill from my eyes, “Lets go! Please, we have to find him and make sure he’s okay!” I began to sob.

“Calm down, I’m sure everything’s fine, we’ll find him, okay?” Bruce assured me.

We argued with the security men outside about how this was an emergency. They called my parents down and we argued and screamed at each other until Bruce and I finally just left, even though all of them were screaming and warning us to do as they say.

I cried the entire drive to Anderson Ave but dried my tears as we knocked on the door and Penny let us inside. I hugged her right away, “Momma P, everything will be okay, I promise,” I said as I hugged her.

She told us that he went to work early that morning as usual and that that was the last time she had seen or heard of him.

She came with us, sitting in the car with Bruce as we retraced Arthur’s route to Ha Ha’s in what felt like the middle of the night even though it was near morning.

We found nothing.

I waited with Penny in the car while Bruce checked the subway stations Arthur usually took in the mornings and evenings to and from work and even stopped and asked the police officers who patrolled the stations at night if they had seen him.

I even called and spoke to Hoyt, who told me that Arthur had had several gigs at the hospital and a private party that day, which he couldn’t tell us much about, just that they had requested Arthur specifically.

It was then that I knew.

While Bruce began calling the local hospitals to see if anyone by Arthur’s name or description had been taken there, I called Thomas Wayne.

“I was waiting for your call,” was the first thing he said when he answered the phone.

“What have you done to him?” I sobbed, feeling my entire body shake in sickening fear.

“Alex, I thought we had talked about this. I thought we had understood each other.”

“Thomas Wayne… please, I beg you—”

"Thomas Wayne? Am I not uncle Tom? What has changed Alex?"

"Please... I beg you!" I whispered, hugging my arm against my stomach. A deep, painful ache began in the pit of my stomach. It made my breath catch and my legs go numb.

“Beg me? You have even gotten my son involved with this bastard, you did the exact opposite of what we had discussed! Now you’re begging me? I told you that that was a problem that took a lot of time, money, and effort to cover up, and instead of doing what we agreed, you involved MY son in this!”

“Arthur is your son too…” I whispered, fresh tears spilling from my eyes.

How could he be this way to his own son?! Arthur was his flesh and blood! How could he love and protect one while harming the other?!

I was truly and completely terrified of him.

Had he hurt Arthur?! Was my precious little clown hurt somewhere?! Was he… alive?! I felt faint in that moment just at the thought that I might never see my favorite sea green eyes and shy smile ever again.

“Please tell me where he is and I’ll make things right, I swear but please don’t hurt him! Please, I beg you, please! I’ll fix this, I swear on his life, please just tell me where he is!” I begged, watching as Bruce hung up and dialed yet another number. Penny held her hands under her chin, praying for her son’s safety as she listened to Bruce talk on the phone.

Dear god. This was my fault. All of this was my fault.

Bruce already cared about Arthur. He was here too, worried about Arthur’s wellbeing without even knowing that Arthur was his brother. Bruce was as involved as I was. How was I going to destroy this bond?! How was I going to save and hurt Arthur at the same time…

“You will fix this mess,” Thomas snapped.

“Yes, I will, I swear,” I replied.

“Good. Isn’t it easy to just do as I say? Do your part and I’ll do mine.”

Eventually we returned to Anderson Ave and waited in silence while Bruce talked on the phone, ending one call just to start another, contacting all of his connections to assist with finding Arthur. I stared blankly at the floor, tears spilling from my eyes as I felt my entire world crashing around me.

I knew it was only a matter of time before he was found.

Bruce finally answered a call and rushed over to us, “They found him, he’s at Gotham Medical Center!” he informed, rushing us out the door.

The entire time at the hospital was a huge, blurry mess. I remember Bruce talking to the doctors, they said things like TBI... Possible brain damage… likely an assault… very beaten… fractures... medical sedation…. Found unconscious... collapsed lung... intensive care…

I don’t know where I found the strength to be there for Penny, who lost it when they allowed us to see Arthur from the other side of the glass doors at the ICU. He was currently medically sedated and on a breathing machine… His body badly battered, colored with bruises and decorated with stitches. One of his arms fixed into a cast that reached his shoulder...

His own father had done this to him.

His own father.

And me… me and my selfishness… me and my inability to stay away from him…

I had done this to Arthur…


	27. Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How long can Alex keep her promise?

It had been a very bad night for Arthur, they said. 

They suspected he had been mugged on his way back from work that night. I was silent as I listened to the police and the doctors argue. The doctors felt it was inconsistent with a mugging, but the police reported having witnesses who had seen what happened.

And that was that.

Thomas Wayne didn’t cut corners.

Arthur was in the ICU another 3 days. He had suffered a brain injury that they were afraid would get worse due to his history of past brain injury. I sat alone with him one night while Bruce took Penny back to Anderson Ave for a shower, food, and some much needed rest. I held the hand that wasn’t casted and allowed myself to cry as hard as I needed to now that I was alone and Arthur was sleeping soundly thanks to the medications they had given him. 

I begged him to forgive me for every misfortune I had brought into his life. I told him over and over how sorry I was, how I was so scared, and that I truly wished our lives were different. I told him that I loved him with all my heart despite the fact that I was going to leave him. I told him that he was my entire world and that nothing in the universe would change how much I loved him and would always love him.

Bruce and Penny found me in the same place they had left me, sitting beside him, resting my head on the bed and holding his cold hand against my cheek.

On the 3rd day the brain swelling had gone down enough that they were able to start weening him off sedation. Nurses, doctors, case managers, and therapists frequented his room all day over the next few days. He began to be more alert, more awake. Thankfully, he didn’t suffer any additional brain damage though he was very weak and required a lot of rest.

When they moved him out of ICU, I knew he was past the rough part of his recovery.

I was quiet. The guilt consumed me and the fact that I knew the end was near haunted me.

Arthur had no recollection of that night. Or the past few days for that matter. So at least he didn’t know his own father had tried to kill him.

One night, he and I sat alone in his room. Bruce had taken Penny out to get food and they would be gone for a little while. By now, Arthur was much better and very aware of how distant I was.

I stood, looking out of the large hospital window, hugging myself and overlooking Gotham City.

“Alex?” He called to me. From the corner of my eye I could see him reach his hand out to me but I didn’t turn to him or take it.

“Alex… what is it?” he asked softly.

I took a deep, shaky breath and wiped the tears that spilled from my eyes, “Arthur, I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few days…”

I heard him move to sit on the edge of the bed, “Oh yeah? About what?” He asked, a little tease to his voice.

I suddenly covered my face and sobbed into my hands. I had no idea how I was going to do this. How I was going to find the strength to leave him.

“Alex?” he called out, reaching for me again, “Alex?! Come here princess, what is it?” he cooed.

“Arthur I can’t do this anymore,” I cried into my hands, “I can’t do this anymore, I just can’t. I have to do what’s best for me and I have been trying to wait for the right time and it’s never going to be the right time but I just can’t anymore… I just can’t,” I cried. My face was numb. My hands were numb. My entire body was numb.

Strange how I couldn’t feel the pain in that moment.

There was a long pause, then he spoke, “Wait…” he laughed, “What do you mean?” he asked in that soft, angelic voice of his, “Alex… please look at me,” he motioned to me with his hand again.

I couldn’t, I just couldn’t face him.

“Arthur… I’m going to leave tonight and I’m not coming back… please don’t look for me, please don’t contact me, please just… leave me alone… me and my family… I can’t be at peace if I know that you still talk to Bruce so I’m going to ask that you just… don’t contact me or him ever again,” I finally turned to him, “Please just leave me be…” I asked.

The look on his face completely broke my heart and shattered my world into a million pieces. His beautiful eyes were big with shock, his mouth open as if he was trying to say something but didn’t understand what I was saying, what this change meant, why I was saying those awful things to him... His one free hand was still extended towards me, empty and fragile, reaching for the comfort I always gave it but would give it no more.

Then he started laughing.

I froze, watching his eyes grow bigger. He grabbed at his throat and tried to control it, trying to talk to me through it.

Before I could give in, I grabbed my purse and hurried out the door.

He jumped out of the bed and went after me, calling to me through his painful laughter. The bed alarms started going off and soon nurses rushed in, telling him that he couldn’t be out of bed alone, forcing him back but he fought them and I ran, leaving him behind.

As I turned the corner, I made the mistake of glancing over and caught a glimpse of what I had left behind. He was pinned down to the floor by several male nurses, laughing painfully as another nurse prepared a syringe.

The fear and painful filled way in which he yelled for me will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I ran all the way down the stairs from the 12th floor then sat in my car and cried the entire night, listening to my phone ring over and over again.

A knock sometime near morning startled me and I looked up to see Bruce through the window.

He opened the door and pulled me into his arms and I buried my face into his shoulder, still crying, still numb, still trembling.

“Alex, what happened?” He asked, “the nurses told us that you ran out? I have been looking for you all night! They had to give Fleck some kind of sedative but he’s alright. What happened?!”

“I don’t want to see Arthur anymore B and I don’t want you to see him either okay? Please promise me?! Please just promise me you won’t see him anymore?!”

“Did he do something to you?!”

“No! No!” I shook my head, “No, he would never… but I have made up my mind and I… I just want to leave this behind me…”

“What did he do?! What did he do to you Alex?!” 

“Bruce, please don’t… please just leave it be, promise me?!” I begged.

“But Alex!—”

“Please Bruce, B… please!” I begged, putting my hands together and putting them under my chin.

He looked between my eyes, I could see that he had so many questions but he finally nodded.

“You’re a mess… let’s get you home,” he replied quietly.

I cried the entire drive back home but Bruce didn’t ask any more questions.

***

The next few day were nothing but darkness.

The worst thing was that I didn’t know anything about Arthur. Was he okay? Was he home now? Was he moving on? Was he safe?...

I couldn’t get myself to leave my bed, much less my room.

It was like I had no strength to do so, no desire or motivation.

Arthur was all I could think about.

That glimpse of him on the floor woke me up in the middle of the night and I would wake up screaming his name. The awful ache I felt at not being able to run to him, hold him, and make him feel loved… nothing could feel worse. Nothing. 

Bruce came to see me every morning and every night before and after his work obligations. He tried to cheer me up, he tried to talk about what happened, he tried not talking about what happened, he tried just distracting me… he tried it all.

The one thing he was able to do to bring me some peace was keeping Rich away for a while.

But only for a while.

Rich came one morning and told me that a friend of his was having a party and that I would be going with him, whether I liked it or not. I tried to tell him many times that I didn’t feel well but he refused to listen. He didn’t care how I felt. He never had.

I felt sick the moment I was forced out of bed. Nauseous, lightheaded, tired…

It had been nearly a week and a half since I had gotten out of bed. Bruce was also attending, and I was thankful that I would have him there to get me through this.

I sat quietly while Rich drove and talked about the party and the people who would be there. I didn’t even argue with him, I didn’t have the energy to.

I sipped on water quietly while standing next to Rich, allowing him to do all the talking. I was miserable and frankly, felt worse and worse as the night rolled on. I realized it was an 18th birthday party for a young girl who was excited and very much in celebration mode. I guess Rich had told me that at some point but I felt bad that I didn’t even think to bring a present.

Bruce was there when we arrived and he came to stand next to me as soon as he saw us.

We hadn’t even been there thirty minutes when I started begging Rich to let me go home.

He refused.

I had my head rested against Bruce’s shoulder when I heard the birthday girl begin to speak.

“I’m so excited because I get to share my favorite birthday present with everyone!” she began.

Favorite? I thought, more so than the Lamborghini?! I wondered what it was.

“Follow me outside!” she exclaimed excitedly.

We followed, Bruce encouraging me to have a little fun, if only to help my crummy mood. I gave him a look and he sighed.

As soon as we were outside, I looked across the large estate. There was a stage set up near the pool, not surprising at all, it was typical of them to have famous artists perform.

“A few weeks ago Arthur went viral!” she began and my stomach dropped, “He began with a small show in downtown Gotham that I got to see and I have been so in love with him since then! I begged mom and dad to have him to perform for my birthday and they made it happen! Please welcome Carnival!” she called out.

As soon as I saw him take the stage I gasped. I grabbed onto Bruce’s arm tightly, feeling my head spin.

I could see Arthur scan the crowd as the girl continued to talk about how much she loved his show and him.

“Fuck..." Bruce whispered, "Bug?! Are you okay?!” Bruce asked and all I could do was shake my head, “Let’s go sit down," he replied.

“Alex?!” Arthur called out, still looking through the crowd desperately, “Alex?! Are you here?! A-Alex?! Please talk to me, please Alex… please?!”

Everyone was silent and in complete confusion. Was this part of the act? Was it real?! They looked around, trying to figure it out. 

“Hurry, let’s leave,” Rich whispered, quickly pushing us towards the house again.

As soon as Arthur’s eyes found me in the crowd and locked with mine as Rich pushed me away, everything went black.


	28. The Cheeseballs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex experiences what it's like to go in a full circle.

I heard the voices around me before anything else. Someone was holding my hand and I was laying on something soft. 

Bruce. I recognized his voice after a few seconds. His hand was familiar, cold like someone else's I knew very well. 

“It’s your fault for making her come!” Bruce snapped at someone. 

“How the fuck was I supposed to know that bastard was going to be here?!” Rich snapped at him, “She gets this way over that loser?! What a fucking joke!” I heard Rich's anger in his voice. I could also hear his angry footsteps as he paced around the bed. 

“Alex?” Bruce asked softly when he felt me stir, “Bug?!”

I heard a door open, “Excuse me, but they are asking about Miss Alex,” Another voice I didn’t recognize spoke.

“Tell him it’s not his fucking business and to leave!” Rich snapped, “Or I’ll fucking kill him!”

“I apologize sir, Miss Jessica refuses to make him leave, I was just sent to deliver—”

“GET OUT!” He yelled at her. I heard the door close, “Pick her up, we’re leaving,” Rich snapped at Bruce.

“Who do you think you are to give me orders?” Bruce snapped right back.

“B, let’s just go, please,” I mumbled, still with my eyes closed.

“Bug, he’s outside,” Bruce explained, “there isn’t another way out, you will see him outside the door if we leave right now.” 

I opened my eyes and slowly sat up, instantly feeling sick to my stomach. I listened and I could hear voices outside the door, specifically Arthur’s as he pleaded to whoever was outside the door with him. I could hear him beg them to let him in. 

My stomach squeezed painfully when the door opened again and this time a male butler came in to once again try and reason with Rich.

“I SAID NO! SHE DOES NOT WANT TO SEE HIM!” He yelled at the poor butler who was being very calm and professional.

“Please! I just want to see her! Please?!” the way Arthur pleaded/begged outside the door brought tears to my eyes and I began to sob. 

“FUCKING BASTARD! PATHETIC CLOWN!” Rich yelled at him over his pleas. 

I covered my face when I saw Rich grab for him and as a fight almost broke out, thankfully the house staff stopped it. I saw enough to know that Arthur did nothing to defend himself and instead continued to beg Rich to let him in to see me. 

“Let’s go!” Rich called out to me as he adjusted his clothes. 

“Let’s go B, let’s just go,” I whispered to Bruce again. 

I tried to prepare for it but nothing could have. Nothing in the world could have. 

Bruce lifted me into his arms and it was like time slowed down as we headed to the door. They opened it all the way and I could see that there was many, many people outside the door. Probably all of the house staff, the owners of the home and the hosts of the party, the birthday girl, security officers... 

And Carnival the Clown. 

“ALEX! ALEX!!” Arthur yelled as soon as he saw me, “ALEX! PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN WHATEVER I DID! PLEASE! ALEX I’M SORRY!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR EVERYTHING! I CAN’T LIVE WITOUT YOU! ALEX PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!!” 

Security tried to hold him back, house staff tried to keep Rich from jumping him again, and Bruce just tried to get me out as fast as possible. 

I covered my mouth as my sobs got louder and I closed my eyes, like the coward that I was, so I couldn’t see him as we left him behind.

I heard his screams even as we went down the stairs and to the first floor. They echoed in my head, against the walls, everywhere as Bruce placed me into the car and got in with me even though he had arrived by himself. 

I cried the entire drive back, the entire night, and the entire next few days. 

Bruce didn’t know what to do. 

***

“You have got to get out of bed,” Bruce said one night. 

I shook my head no. 

“So you’re just going to let yourself die here?” He asked. 

I nodded yes. 

He sighed, “I won’t let that happen Bug,” he replied as he combed my hair back and away from my face. He was sitting on the bed as I laid there wishing someone would end my misery. “I got you some of those nasty cheeseballs. I gagged the entire time I had to bring them up, so you’re going to eat a few, at least do that for me? You know how much I hate those things!” 

As soon as he said cheeseballs, I gagged in disgust. 

He frowned, watching me, “What? The cheeseballs gross you out now?” 

I gagged again, shaking my head, begging him not to even mention them again, but then I saw them in the shopping bag and that was enough to make me jump up and dash to the toilet to vomit. 

He followed, standing by the door watching me get sick and empty my already empty stomach into the toilet. He crossed his arms, patiently waiting for me to finish. 

I closed the lid and flushed it, panting and sweating as I sat back and tried to catch my breath. 

“Didn’t you say Fleck hated those too?” he asked. 

“Please don’t talk about him,” I whispered/pleaded, like I always did when he brought him up. 

I could feel his eyes on me and I looked over, “What?” I asked, hugging my arms to my chest as I shivered. I felt so weak, so ill, so... dead. 

“You had a lot of fun in that back seat, didn’t you? So much that you forgot to use protection?” he asked. 

My stomach sank as I continued to look between his brown eyes. I knew what he was insinuating but it still didn’t quite register. 

“I think we’re making a trip to the pharmacy,” he continued, “get up, come on.” 

“I don’t know what you are trying to say, but—”

“Shut up,” he snapped, “get up, we are going to get a pregnancy test,” he snapped, “I said get up!” he snapped his fingers at me. 

I shivered as I tried to make some lame excuses, explaining that I was on birth control, that I just hadn’t been eating, the stress of everything…

Bruce didn’t say anything as he grabbed a hoodie and a pair of sneakers for me. 

I was no longer under heavy security, so no one really cared that we left sometime around 10 pm. I sat in silence in the passenger’s seat. Bruce drove out of the city where it would be less likely that anyone would see and recognize us because we never came to those parts of the city. He parked the car and grabbed a pair of sunglasses for me and himself, replaced his Armani blazer top with a hoodie, then covered his head. Our usual disguise. 

We went into one of the rundown Helm’s Pharmacies and to the section were there were several pregnancy tests to choose from. Seeing them made me sick, that’s all I remember. My brain hadn’t really processed what we were doing and that this could somehow be a possibility. 

Was it possible?!

Was it really possible?!

Bruce scanned the shelfs and I didn’t speak, I didn't even look back at the shelf, I couldn't bring myself to do it, I just watched as he read the instructions and eventually picked out 4 different ones. I stood back as he paid for them with cash. 

“Do you want to go back and do them at home?” he asked. 

I shook my head, trembling. I felt so vulnerable. There was only one person who could make me feel safe, but I didn’t want to think about them and cry the rest of the night. 

“We do it here?” he asked. I looked over at him, not knowing what to say. He took a bottle of water he had in the center console, opened the window, poured out what water was left inside, took a knife out of his pocket and cut the top off, then handed it to me, “There’s no one around, you’re going to have to pee in that,” he nodded towards it. 

I just did as he said, I opened the car door and stepped out. It was very weird pulling my pants down and squatting in a dark, empty parking lot. I remembered the time I had done it with Arthur, but for a much different reason. 

Arthur...

Arthur... I tried to not even say his name in my mind but it was impossible. 

I also could never bring myself to take off the ring he had given me. It gave off this bright, glimmering light in that dark parking lot even with just the little bit of light that came from the Helm's Pharmacy logo. I stared at the glistening stone as I peed into the bottle. 

I came back with the cut pee bottle half way full. 

Bruce took it and placed it in the cup holder. I watched as he took the tests out one by one and placed them in the cup. “Now we wait,” he said. 

Those were the longest 3-5 min of my life.


	29. Carnival's Nightcall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur finds that things happen for a reason and that the universe puts you at the right place at the right time. Or maybe someone else is moving the chess pieces.

Like every night, he stood at the massive gates that secured Zachary Wayne’s large estate from the threats of the world outside. 

The castle that imprisoned his heart.

The security men stood on the other side of the gates, paying him no mind as they chatted about the women they had met at the bar the night prior with who they had cheated on their wives with. They seemed very proud of themselves as the discussed the details of their affairs. 

At this point, they had gotten tired of beating him near death every night and now, they mostly ignored him, occasionally throwing some insults or a piece of their dinner at him. 

But don’t think for a moment that the abuse stopped completely, when they felt like it, they used him as a piñata. As entertainment for those long boring nights when they didn’t have anything better to do and use him as a punching bag. 

His face was pressed in between two cold, metal rods, his eyes closed, both of his hands holding the bars on each side. 

It felt like a prison even though he was on the outside. 

His life consisted of taking care of his mother, going to work, and spending all night at the gates in hopes that he would see her again and be able to make things right. 

Maybe he was crazy. 

Maybe he should be in Arkham State for the rest of his life. 

What had he done? What had he done to lose her?! How could he have been such a fool to lose her?! How had he been so stupid to lose the love of his life?...

Maybe it wasn’t real?! 

Maybe he was delusional? 

Clearly speaking, anyone would laugh if he told them that she loved him. That Alexandria Wayne loved him.

Or had loved him...

He sighed, “Please let me see her…” he asked, but they ignored him like they had done all night.

“Please... I just need to talk to her…” he was physically and mentally so exhausted. He almost didn't feel like a person anymore. 

“Shut the fuck up. She’s probably on Richard Steven’s dick right about now, pal. You don’t stand a chance against that guy and all of his money.”

“Don’t say those things about her,” he replied, knowing this would earn him a beating, but he didn't care. He really did not care. 

One opened his bottle of water and splashed it in his face, “Does it bother you? Hmm? You’re pathetic,” he spit at him. 

He didn’t reply. They were right, after all. 

He was pathetic. 

“Cat got your tongue again?” another asked.

Arthur closed his eyes and sighed deeply as they came over and 2 stepped out of the gates. He already knew where this was going.

***

His body felt like it had the weight of the world on top of it as he headed home from work the following evening. He didn’t even remember the last time he had slept or ate. 

A fresh beating the night prior didn’t help his cause either. He was almost sure his ribs were broken as every breath felt like a knife being stabbed into his side. 

But why did sleep even matter? 

He would give his life in that moment just to get a chance to say that he was sorry for everything. 

It felt like his shoes were made of cement. That’s how heavy his whole body felt as he walked back to his apartment still dressed as Carnival, not even having the energy to change his clothes. 

The defeat on his shoulders weighed on him. Making him feel both heavy and empty enough to be carried off by the wind. 

As soon as he walked into his apartment, his mother called out to ask if he had seen her, to which he replied as always, “No ma… not today... maybe tonight...”

He put his things down and was removing his coat when the phone rang.

He almost fell trying to get to it as fast as he could, banging his elbow on the wall and his knee on the counter, “Hello?!!!?” he asked, his heart seemingly stopping in his chest. 

“Hello?! Arthur?” it was Hoyt. 

The disappointment made him collapse against the counter. It crushed him from the inside out. 

“Arthur?!” Hoyt snapped again.

“Yes Hoyt, it’s me,” he sighed. 

“I got a call for you to do a private show at the hospital,” he paused, probably to take a drag of his cigarette, “some rich girl, she’s depressed or some shit like that.”

He nodded, “Okay, what time tomorrow?”

“No they want you tonight, asap, 10th floor room 521.”

Arthur looked at the time, 9:31 pm. It was already late. What if he missed Alex coming home? What if tonight was his one chance to finally talk to her?

“Tonight?” he asked again to clarify, “I…” he paused to think for a moment. He needed the money for his mother’s medications this month… he would just make her dinner and put her to bed then go to the Wayne gates after completing the show at the hospital. “Okay, I’ll be there,” he finally replied. 

Not like he slept anyways. It just hurt to think that he could lose his chance to see her… or talk to her…

He made his mother something quick for dinner and then made sure she was in bed and comfortable, fixed his Carnival make up, grabbed his bag, then headed to Gotham Medical Center. 

He went by subway and remembered the times he and Alex had rode together, how excited she had been over something as common as the subway. Those memories made him smile, if only for a few seconds. 

Once at the hospital, he got into the elevator and went straight up to the 10th floor, knowing it was late already and that the customers were waiting on him. 

As he walked by one of the rooms which had the door ajar, he caught a glimpse of a very pregnant woman in tears. He stopped outside her door for a moment to listen, unable to stop himself from eavesdropping. 

“Honey, I told you it will be okay,” a man who he assumed was the husband/father said, “We will figure it out.”

“I’m still in school! How are we going to get through this? I will have to drop out to take care of him,” she cried. 

He signed in relief then, glad that the woman and the baby were okay. He was sure that things would work out for them. After all, all things happen for a reason. 

Finally, he found the room he was heading to and stopped outside the door, taking a deep breath and trying to find the cheer and joy inside of him that he did not have. But this woman deserved to smile and forget about whatever medical thing was going on and so he put on a happy face for her. 

He cleared his throat and smiled big, though his heart was breaking. 

He knocked and opened the door. 

He stopped dead on his tracks, for the person laying in the hospital bed was the one for which his heart continued to beat. 

“Alex?!” he asked in shock.


	30. Alex's Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It becomes harder for Alex to keep secrets from both Arthur and Bruce as they both begin to realize that she's not being completely honest with either of them.

I had expected anyone to come through that door. 

A nurse.

A doctor. 

Frank Sinatra. 

Anyone. 

Anyone but him. 

I shot up, staring that Carnival/Arthur in shock. I couldn’t believe my eyes. 

“Alex?!” His bag fell to the floor as he ran over to my hospital bed. Clearly he was in shock too, so he hadn’t known it was me in this hospital room. 

“Don’t!” I quickly held my hand up, my eyes darting to the open door behind him. 

He stopped.

“You should not be here! Please just go! You should not be here!” I felt hot tears spill from my eyes, “they will be here any minute! You can’t be here!” 

“Alex… please let me ex—” I cut him off. 

“No Arthur, you have to go, please!” I begged, sobs escaping my lips. 

“Alex…” he whispered, I could see his pretty eyes fill with tears, “Alex I—”

“Don’t Arthur… don’t, please just… g-go---” I whispered, my voice and will cracking. 

My heart was breaking all over again. I wanted to jump into his arms and never, ever feel left out of their warmth again. I wanted to hug him tightly and apologize for all of the pain I had put him through. I wanted to protect him and kiss him until those tears dried, never to return again. I wanted it to be like it used to be. 

How did he know I was here? Why was he dressed as Carnival?!

The tears spilled from his eyes then, the look of his big clown smile but tear covered face was heart wrenching, physically painful to see when I loved him as much as I did, and maybe even more than I remember loving him before. 

Then his painful laugh began. He stood there in that big hospital room, shoulders slumped forward in defeat. In his mind probably accepting that it was over, that there was nothing he could do or say… feeling guilt and fault that he should not ever have. 

Arthur always did what I asked him to and this was no different, so he slowly turned to the door, still laugh/crying, and that was when I panicked. 

Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t feel anything but fear so deep that everything around me went almost completely black. 

Something about watching him turn to leave me was too much. I couldn’t do it. 

I just couldn’t do it. 

“Arthur don’t leave me!” I screamed/choked suddenly, reaching for him with both hands in desperation. He turned back and darted over, catching me just before I could hit the floor. I hadn’t even realized that I had basically lunged myself out of the bed and at him. 

I clung to him with both arms and legs, cries so violent leaving my body that I literally could not breathe. I wondered if he could, for I held him as tightly as I could, too afraid to let go. 

It was my Arthur. I was MY Arthur. I remembered those arms like they had just held me. I remembered those calming, soothing, gentle caresses like they had never left my body. I remembered his scent like I hadn’t longed for it for weeks. 

It was my Arthur. 

3 nurses ran in and found me on the floor next to the bed in Arthur’s lap. Bruce behind him, and to my surprise, he wasn’t shocked at all to see him. 

So it was him, I realized. 

It was Bruce who called Arthur. 

“Sweetheart, you have to calm down,” One of the nurses said calmly, “here, let’s get you back in bed—”

But I would not let go of Arthur. I couldn’t. 

I ignored them as they tried to reason with me, told me he could stay, blah blah blah... 

I didn’t let go. I didn’t care what they said.

Arthur whispered to me quietly along with the medical team, promising that he wouldn’t go anywhere, that he would stay right beside me, but even with his reassurance, I couldn’t let go of him. 

Even Bruce came over and tried to pull me away from him. 

No. I would not let go. 

And I didn’t let go. 

***

Arthur sat in the recliner with Alex curled up on his lap. She was sleeping soundly, her face tucked into his neck, hands holding fistfuls of his vest and collar. Once in a while when he readjusted himself she would wake and squeeze him tightly again. 

They had all tried without success to get her back into bed so that she could rest, so they settled with letting her sleep on his lap and in his arms. 

They would come in and take her vitals etc as needed. Once they came in to reposition some bands that they had wrapped around her abdomen, which he thought were odd... 

It felt like a dream to him. He knew now that something was going on, something out of his control and probably nothing he had done to her. She had begged him to leave with such fear in her eyes, like she was afraid someone would see him there…

That gave him relief, because he knew that she still loved him. But he also got the feeling that she was keeping something from him. 

“I guess I should have expected this reaction,” Bruce said quietly as he pulled the covers up to her shoulders then went over to sit on the other recliner. She took a deep breath in her sleep, nuzzling closer to the love of her life. Bruce hadn’t seen her sleep that soundly in weeks. 

“You called Hoyt?” Arthur asked.

“What else could I do?” Bruce asked, “she doesn’t realize that it hurts me to see her like this too, she isn’t doing any better and she’s going to let herself die and for what? What happened between you two?” he asked Arthur.

Arthur shrugged, that movement made her tighten her grip again, “I don’t know,” he replied, gently soothing her again, “I thought everything was okay… and then she… she said it was over…” 

Bruce frowned. None of it made sense to him. Something was going on and he needed to know what it was. Alex must be keeping something from him and that itself was odd. 

“Why is she here in the hospital?” Arthur asked quietly.

Bruce sighed, “I’m sorry, but that’s not for me to tell you.”

That only worried Arthur even more. 

“Is she okay?” he asked.

“She looks fine now,” Bruce replied, resting back in the other chair. 

“Your family will be upset when they see me here…” Arthur commented quietly. 

“They don’t know we’re here, at the moment,” Bruce replied.

Arthur frowned in confusion. 

“I brought her in just a few hours ago. We were out and…” he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes as he rested back into the recliner, “she fainted in my car, I couldn’t get her to come to… I called Hoyt while I was heading to the hospital. I felt it was better that way because it seems to me like there’s something she isn’t telling me. That way there’s less to trace, you know?” 

Arthur nodded in understanding. 

Bruce was quiet for a while, his eyes narrow as he watched Arthur. He could tell that his gaze was making Arthur nervous, “Do you know anything that she could be hiding form me?” he asked. 

Arthur felt his heart race and his face go a little pale. He did, in fact, know a major secret that she was keeping from Bruce, but he wasn’t even sure if that was the reason for all of this, or the reason she was pushing him away. Arthur shook his head but he was an awful liar. 

“I can’t help if I don’t know,” Bruce pressed, “there has to be a reason she’s staying away from you because it is clearly not what I was thinking. It’s like she’s afraid of something… you really don’t know why?” 

Arthur swallowed a thick lump in his throat, avoiding Bruce’s eyes, “I---I don’t---”

Suddenly Alex began to stir in Arthur's arms. Both he and Bruce went silent.


	31. The Ocean Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets a vision that could possibly be the answer she's been waiting for.

I remember waking slowly, initially hearing voices around me then nothing. The sun was beginning to rise above the city skyline but someone had thankfully closed the blinds, which had allowed me to sleep through the early morning sun. 

I sighed, still so tired but already feeling so much more rested than I had in weeks. I could feel his arms around me, keeping me warm and safe. I wanted to stay there forever.

But I knew that was a dream of the future. 

I sat up and took his painted face into my hands softly, looking into his tired face with my sleepy eyes. I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes. 

My Arthur. 

My pretty green eyes, my precious brunette curls, my thin little lips, my favorite cold hands… 

My Arthur. 

I kissed him deeply then, wrapping my legs tighter around his waist. 

Never mind that I was completely naked under the hospital gown I wore. 

That was when Bruce cleared his throat and I jumped a little, feeling embarrassed and awful because I had completely forgotten he was there. 

“Yes, hi, good morning,” he said when I looked back at him, “I’m Bruce, nice to meet you,” he waved exaggeratedly. 

“B… I’m so sorry, I… I don’t know where my head is,” I replied. 

I didn’t want to let go of Arthur, not for a second, but I was slightly embarrassed at how I was basically straddling him. I could feel my face flush as I shifted under the covers so I was sitting more decently on Arthur's lap and not straddling him. 

I wrapped my arms around him under the covers and rested by head on his shoulder. We looked at each other, him down at me and me up at him as he wrapped his arms around me once again. 

His eyes were so beautiful. I had almost forgotten just how beautiful they were in person…

Arthur lifted his hand and softly tucked a stand of my hair behind my ear. I could have melted from his soft touch alone. 

“You’re welcome,” Bruce added. 

I looked over at him and jumped up to hug him tightly. 

It was all so wrong but in that moment I didn’t want to think about that. I gave Bruce a kiss on the cheek then quickly crawled back under the covers with Arthur, “Thank you B,” I whispered. 

“Alex—” Arthur began.

“Please don’t,” I stopped him, nuzzling my face into his shoulder and hugging him once again, “Please don’t Arthur,” I whispered. 

He caressed my cheek with the back of his hand and I closed my eyes at the tenderness of his touch. 

“Don’t you have something to tell Fleck?” Bruce asked me. 

I swallowed thickly, my pulse racing. I felt Arthur’s hand stop. 

I looked up at him and his eyes danced between mine, waiting. 

My eyes flickered to Bruce then back to him, “no…” I whispered, dropping my gaze away from his eyes. 

“You don’t?” Bruce pressed. 

I looked up into Arthur’s pretty eyes once again, “A-Arthur… I… ” I didn’t know how to say it, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to say it or if I even should say it. I seriously struggled with that decision in that moment. What would happen if I did tell him?...

“I-I missed you…” I stuttered out, deciding against telling him. 

Bruce nodded, looking away in frustration and also laughing at me quietly. He had no idea the decisions I was struggling with and the weight of them on my shoulders. He stood and went over to the floor length window and opened the blinds, waiting and expecting me to come clean to Arthur. 

Arthur, always innocent Arthur, believed that that was all that I needed to tell him, “I missed you too, Alex,” he replied softly. 

“Do you need to tell him anything else?” Bruce asked with his back still to us. 

I looked back into Arthur’s eyes.

I was so in love with him, so, so deeply in love with him.... 

I couldn’t help but really think about it for the first time since seeing those 4 positive pregnancy tests. 

What if this baby had Arthur’s beautiful eyes? Or those dimples? Those perfect curls? 

How precious would a little baby with Arthur’s eyes and brown curls be?! 

I could imagine the little giggles as Arthur made silly voices and faces…

The cold little hands reaching for me and getting to place kisses all over them after getting to sleep in daddy Arthur’s arms all night long…

Watching Arthur sleep with the baby curled up on his chest… 

Heavens, he would be such an amazing father…

“Alex?” Arthur asked softly. 

I snapped out of my thoughts, glancing at Bruce who was watching me and I knew that he knew what I was daydreaming about. 

If I told him, there would be no going back…

*

“Arthur… I’m p-pregnant…” I stuttered out.

His green eyes widened and shot between mine in shock. 

“A baby?!” he asked, his entire face lighting up instantly. 

I couldn’t help but smile back at him, biting my lip and nodding, how precious he was when he smiled like that? 

“Alex, we’re having a baby?!” he asked again and I nodded again, giggling at his disbelief and excitement. 

“Yes my love, a baby!” 

In that moment, all the worry and fear disappeared and for the first time, I was truly happy and excited. 

He grabbed my face and kissed me in between happy laughter, “you have no idea how many tests they have already done,” I laughed, smiling as I fixed the oversized Hawaiian shirt he wore. 

I could see the confusion. 

I pulled back and quickly stood so that I was standing in between his legs. 

Behind me, the waves crashed ashore, the once bright sun was setting across the blue horizon, and “Is this Love” by Bob Marley played somewhere in the distance. 

I pulled the swim suit cover up aside to show him my barely noticeable bump, “They said that baby’s heartbeat is strong and healthy, and that baby is about 4 weeks and 4 days,” I explained, “Baby is a little small for his age but they said its nothing to worry about, I’m starting my vitamins and I’m going to make sure that I feed baby really well so that baby can grow strong like daddy. Right now, it’s too early to know if baby is a little princess or a little clown,” I smiled when he giggled, “So… I think we celebrated a little too much the night of the show,” I whispered, grinning as I looked between his eyes. 

He nodded in understanding, his eyebrows rising as he caught on to what I was saying. We definitely had celebrated a LOT that night. 

Arthur lifted his cold hands and placed them on my very much, still flat abdomen. He caressed my tummy softly, then leaned forward and placed a bunch of kisses all over my skin, making me giggle. I smiled as I ran my fingers through his brown locks, closing my eyes and feeling his kisses and caresses on my skin along with the humid salty ocean air. 

Bruce was giving us our time, but I knew he was smiling as he laid back on the beach chair, smothered in sun screen and wearing his big black sunglasses. 

Uncle B… and he didn’t even know that it wasn’t by me, but by Arthur. 

*


	32. A Bag Full of Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex finds herself alone in a great big world. Will Arthur come and save her?
> 
> *Trigger warning for violent and abusive situations, mentions of murder and abortion*

I woke with a start and realized that I had slept as soon as I had gotten home late that same morning. I sat there for a while trying to figure out what was real and what was part of my dream. My head was so foggy and everything hurt. 

The trip to the pharmacy was real.

The positive tests were real.

The hospital was real.

Seeing Arthur had been real.

Telling Arthur had… not been real. 

The beach had not been real…

I had asked Arthur to leave the hospital early that morning before someone could see him there. Parting from him only left me feeling cold and empty. The loneliness was crushing and even though I had Bruce, I felt so alone without Arthur. 

I had no idea what to do and I was so tired that I couldn’t stay awake long enough to think about what I was going to do. 

Tell Arthur about his own father threatening to murder him, and almost doing so, so that we could be together? But how would that change anything? It would just hurt Arthur but not change the fact that Thomas Wayne would hurt him if he was close enough to the ‘Wayne’ family to ruin Thomas’s precious image. 

If I told Arthur about the baby right now, he would never want to leave my side and I would not be strong enough to make him. I wanted to be with him… but him being with me would put his life at risk and all I had to do was remember him laying in that bed in the ICU to know that I could not let that happen. 

If I told Bruce the truth about Arthur I would risk hurting him beyond repair and destroying his whole life for mine and Arthur’s happiness…

Thomas Wayne didn’t play with his image, I knew he would get rid of anything that threatened it. 

I also knew that I could not hide it forever. In a few weeks it would be impossible to hide that I was pregnant. 

I didn’t know what to do. 

Run away? Should I just run away with Arthur and never look back? That is what I really wanted to do. But what kind of life would that be? 

We could live on the beach and watch our baby grow together…

Make a million more babies…

Maybe running away didn’t sound so bad after all…

Bruce had been furious the whole drive back. He very much felt that Arthur deserved to know about the baby.

I needed a solution which included not having to tell Arthur just how much his own father was willing to do to keep him a secret, not having to tell Bruce that his father was a murder, a cheater, and a liar. A solution that also allowed me to tell Arthur he was going to be a father and allowed us to be together forever…

What I didn’t even think about was dealing with Richard. 

“So father told me you were at the hospital all night,” he showered up that same morning to find me lying in bed in misery. 

“There are laws to protect against sharing personal health information! He has no right to tell you I was there!” I snapped. 

One of my doctors from the night before must have told him, I thought. I hadn’t even thought that this could happen. I had been so worried about Arthur that this hadn’t even crossed my mind. I was such an idiot for not even thinking about Richard. 

Things were starting to slip from my hands and I was starting to lose control. 

“Is it fucking true?” He asked. 

My blood ran cold. 

“IS IT FUCKING TRUE ALEX?!” he yelled. 

I couldn’t speak, all I could do was stare at him, my vision clouding with tears of fear. 

“ARE YOU FUCKING PREGNANT?!” he yelled. In that moment I felt that he was going to kill me. 

He paced around my bed then, the calm before the storm. 

I could tell he was furious. 

Suddenly, he stormed over and threw everything off of my vanity. He yelled at me the entire time he destroyed my room.

“FROM THAT CLOWN?! YOU LET THAT FUCKING CLOWN IMPREGNATE YOU?!!!!?? YOU LET THAT POOR, LOW LIFE, LOSER GET YOU PREGNANT ALEX?! YOU WERE FUCKING HIM THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME???!!! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HIS WHORE?! DAMMIT ALEX!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY LET THIS HAPPEN!!! YOU BECAME THAT CLOWN’S WHORE WHEN YOU HAD ME, YOU HAD EVERYTHING!!” 

I curled up into a ball, hugging my knees to my chest tightly as he ripped the curtains out, smashed the vanity mirror, threw over the dresser, ripped the TV off the wall and threw it across the room…

“HE’S NOT GOING TO KEEP YOU! NO FUCKING WAY!” He laughed suddenly, picking my phone up from the floor, “I WON’T LET THAT HAPPEN!! 

I felt my heart stop in fear. Was he going to try to call Arthur?! Was he going to hurt him?! I jumped off the bed and ran over in panic, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!” I screamed, trying to take my phone away from him. 

He stopped for a moment and grabbed me by the neck. He looked me dead in the eyes, “get rid of it,” he whispered in my face.

I was frozen in fear, I could hardly breathe with his fingers squeezing my airway.

“Get. Rid. Of. It.” He whispered again, but slower. 

“Please no!” I squeaked out, tears spilling from my eyes, “Please Richard… I want my baby, I want my baby!” my hands trembled as I held into his forearm for dear life. 

He let go then, throwing me to the floor. I gasped in pain, quickly placing a hand over my tummy to try and protect it.

He knew my passcode and unlocked my phone. He was breathing heavy from his tantrum and anger as he searched my phone. If he was trying to contact Arthur, he wouldn’t be able to from my phone, at least I had that on my side. 

He found my mother’s number and showed it to me. 

I panicked, “Rich! No! Wait! Please!” I begged, quickly getting on my knees, “Please don’t!” 

He laughed, lowering the phone, knowing that he had all the power over me, “I’m going to give you until tomorrow night to get rid of it,” he warned, “And if anyone finds out that you’ve let that bastard breed you like the slut you are… I’ll kill him. I’ll kill your precious clown. I won’t even think twice about it. I’ll put a bullet through his head and make you watch as he bleeds to death.” 

I began to sob harder. I watched as he kicked a few things out of his way as he left my room, “Tomorrow night Alex. Until tomorrow night,” he pointed a finger at me, then kicked the door open on his way out. 

I cried harder than I had ever cried before. 

I jumped up, feeling panic and fear like I had never before. I made the decision in a split second. I stuffed an LV bag full of clothes as fast as I could and snuck it out to my car, then, I went about my day as normally as I could considering all that was on my mine and the sickening fear I was trying to hide. 

It wasn’t until late afternoon when I called Arthur’s apartment from an office phone that a lady at the university's financial office was kind enough to let me borrow. I had made it through classes by throwing up in the bathroom during every break and telling myself that if it was meant to be, it would be okay and that Arthur and I would work everything out together. 

Of course, Arthur wasn’t home yet. 

“Momma P!” 

“Alex?! Sweetie, where have you been?” she asked. 

I didn’t have time to chat and I felt awful for ignoring her question, “Momma P, please listen to me, okay? Momma P this is very important!” 

“O-okay? What is it Alex? Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes I’m okay,” I wiped my tears, “Momma P, please have a suitcase ready for both you and Arthur, okay? Pack anything you might need quickly and meet me at Gotham Central Airport, 10th gate, I’ve got the tickets ready. Please be ready to leave as soon as he gets home, okay Momma P? Please do that for me, okay?” I begged. 

“O-okay… Alex, are you sure everything is okay?”

“Yes! It’s a surprise vacation, please be ready or we’ll miss our flight!” I begged. 

“O-okay Alex…” 

“I’ll be waiting for you!” I replied, “I love you momma P, see you soon,” I blew her a kiss and then hung up. 

I left the car in a hotel parking lot and took the subway downtown to the airport. It was just me and my bag. Alone and terrified of how big and alone the world suddenly felt.


	33. More Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Alex be able to keep the promises she continues to make?

I threw on a pair of dark sunglasses and pulled the hoodie of my sweater over my head as I headed into the airport with nothing but a bag of clothes. 

The airport was busy but thankfully everyone was too busy to really look closely at me. 

The sun was setting across the large windows and I lost count of the airplanes that I watched depart and disappear into the darkening sky. 

I couldn’t have been there longer than an hour and a half when two security men came over to me, “Miss Wayne, please come with us,” one said, grabbing my arm. 

“Excuse me?” I asked, trying to pull my arm free. Arthur and Penny would be there any minute, I couldn’t leave the gate!

“Come with us,” the other repeated.

“I have done nothing wrong!” I snapped. 

“Your uncle Thomas wishes to speak with you in private.”

That was when my heart instantly began to race. 

“E-excuse me?”

“Come with us, Miss Wayne,” he repeated, grabbing my arm again and pulling me away from the gate. 

I felt my blood run cold and my body tremble in fear as they escorted me through a door, down a long hallway, and into one of their private investigation rooms. 

That’s when I knew it was over. 

They closed the door and left me in there alone. 

I looked around, feeling so lost and alone, hugging my bag to myself because that was all I had, just that bag full of nothing. 

The door opened and Thomas Wayne came in. He didn’t speak as he walked over and calmly sat down in one of the chairs. He tapped his fingers on the table and sighed. 

I stood back against a corner, feeling like a frightened child. For him to take time away from his work to come here to the airport… I knew I was in serious trouble. 

He watched me for a moment, then casually turned on the flat screen TV that was mounted on the wall over the black one-way glass. I realized it was a live feed from a camera that faced gate 10. 

“Why are you at the airport Alex?” 

I didn’t respond. 

“Do your parents know you’re here? Going on a surprise vacation?”

I felt my stomach sink, but terror set in as I tried to think of what to say that would end this conversation before he could see Arthur and Penny arrive at the gate. 

“I have a lot going on and just needed to get a-away for a little bit… just one night maybe…” I swallowed the lump in my throat. 

He nodded in understanding, “I can understand that, but why not just use your private jet? It’s there just for you, at your beck and call.” He watched me for a moment, “Here, come sit, you are so pale,” he pointed at the chair across from him. 

“I-I don’t know… I didn’t want to worry mom and dad,” I replied. I glanced at the screen then back at him, “Can we just go home? I don’t feel good,” I swallowed thickly. 

“Pregnancy isn’t suiting you well, is it?”

My knees gave out then and I collapsed to the floor. He stood and came over, calmly helping me into the other chair. I could feel beads of sweat running down my face, I could feel my whole body trembling. I clung onto that bag for dear life like it would protect me. 

I realized then that I clung on to it because it was the only physical thing that I had of my dream to run away to the beach with my Arthur. 

Thomas shook his head, “Oh Alex,” he sighed, “If you had only listened to me,” the look of sadness on his face was chilling and terrifying. It made me sick to my stomach. “why was that so hard hmm? Why was it so hard to just do what I asked?”

I didn’t know what to say, all I could think about was the fact that Arthur and Penny would be at the gate any second now!

“You’re thinking about that clown, aren’t you?” he asked, “well, Alex, if you don’t start talking, they won’t ever make it to the gate,” he explained.

“What do you mean?!” I whispered, my lungs feeling tight in my chest.

“I have someone ready to take them home to our lord as soon as they step off the subway, which is very soon. So either you start talking or you will never see them on that camera.” 

Without speaking, I slowly lowered myself to my knees and put my hands together under my chin, “Please don’t hurt them, please,” I whispered, feeling terror so strong that I felt I would die of fright in that moment. 

“Tell me everything,” he waited.

“I’m sorry,” I began, bursting into tears as I begged Arthur’s father to spare his life, “I’m so sorry, I love him uncle Tom, I love him so much,” I cried, “I know you told me to stay away from him and I wanted to but I couldn’t do it, I feel like I’m dying without him,” I wiped my tears quickly as more distorted his face in my vision, “I didn’t mean for Bruce to get so involved, I tried to separate them and it was impossible. Arthur is such a beautiful, gentle, kind hearted and amazing person and Bruce adores him even without knowing the truth,” I cried, “Bruce doesn’t suspect anything and I swear, Arthur and I have not told anyone. Arthur has no interest in telling anyone or harming your image, I promise you, he would never do something like that!” I sniffled.

“The father?” he asked.

I blinked as more hot tears spilled from my eyes, “Arthur… but he doesn’t know,” I whispered. 

“Does Richard know?”

I nodded.

“Fuck!” he snapped, slamming his fist on the table. 

“And what are you going to do about that?” He snapped.

“I can break up with Richard and no one has to know who the father of my baby is,” I replied, still on my knees.

He nodded, “Fine. I don’t care about your relationship with Richard,” he replied, “But what if Richard opens his big, loud mouth?”

“He just knows that I’m pregnant, he doesn’t know for certain who the father is.”

“Any chance it could be Richard’s? We could falsify the paperwork easily.”

I shook my head, “I’ve only ever been with Arthur,” I replied. 

“Fine, tell him it's someone else’s then, but make sure it’s not associated with the clown.”

I nodded. 

“And my son? How will you put a stop to that?”

“I’ll do everything I can, I promise,” I replied.

“You WILL,” he replied.

I nodded. 

There was a knock on the door then and one of the security men came in, “Deadshot has them in sight. He needs to know within 30 seconds if he needs to fire.”

Thomas looked over at me.

“No! Please no!” I begged, “Please! Please tell him no!” I begged them. 

He nodded, “Let’s do what my niece here requests,” he replied. 

I fell over, catching myself with my hand. I waited what seemed like a lifetime until I finally saw Arthur and Penny arrive at the gate. I covered my mouth with my other hand to try and muffle my cries, hugging my bag to myself as I watched them look around for me, waiting and waiting and not knowing that I would never arrive…

“Alright then. Let’s go home.” Thomas said. 

But I saw how his eyes lingered for a little bit on the screen as he said that.


	34. The Scandal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex finds herself at her lowest. But when you can't get lower, there's only one place to go.

I curled up into bed as soon as I got home, still hugging the bag against my chest. I waited until my parents got home then called them up to my room. 

They were upset that I was bothering them as they were both very busy and wanted me to make whatever I needed to tell them quick. 

“I just wanted to let you all know that I’m pregnant. I will be breaking up with Richard tonight because the baby I’m having is not his child.”

They stared at me like I was crazy. 

“What?” My mom asked.

“I’m pregnant, but not from Richard and he already knows...”

“What kind of bad joke is this?” my father laughed.

“Bruce took me to the hospital last night and they ran some tests,” I felt so numb as I opened my bag of clothes and dug through it until I found the sonogram picture. I showed it to them, “it’s not a joke…” I said quietly. 

My mom ran over and ripped it from my hand, looking at the name and date. Then my father snatched it from her and then they both looked at me. 

“Who’s child is it then? If not Richard’s?” my mother asked.

“This guy from university, it was just a fling…” I lied, dropping my gaze. That made me sound like an awful person. 

“No. Nonono…” my mom shook her head. I watched as she stuffed the picture back into my bag and closed it, then took the whole bag and shoved it under my bed like that would keep it a secret. Unknowingly, she was also hiding the last of my dreams and happiness. 

While I had been out, my entire room had been redone. There was no sign that Richard had ever destroyed it. 

“Richard knows?” My father asked to confirm though I had already told them that.

I nodded, “That’s why my room was trashed,” I replied. 

“We will go first thing tomorrow morning and you will get an abortion,” my mother replied. 

I shook my head, “I want to keep the baby, I will raise it as a single mother.”

“No. No. Never,” My mother replied. 

“I can’t deal with this tonight,” my father sighed, “I have a meeting I need to attend,” and with that he left.

“You are not going to keep that child Alex, I can’t discuss this anymore right now, but you are not going to keep that child!” and with that, my mom left. 

I picked up my phone and dialed Rich’s number. I waited as it rang, looking down at the ring Arthur had given me and twirling in with my fingers. 

Some girl answered, “Yeah?” she asked. She sounded sloppy and out of breath. 

Gross. 

But I could care less what Richard did. 

“Just tell Richard that this is Alex and that it’s over. Thank you and good night,” I said, then hung up. 

My phone rang right away, I picked up, knowing it was Richard.

“What the fuck do you mean it’s over?!” he snapped, “My friend answers the phone and you’re jealous?! He snapped, “I gave you until tomorrow Alex, I would think about this if I were you!”

“I am not jealous, I assure you that, do what you please Rich, whenever and with whoever you want. I do, so you deserve to as well,” I shrugged, “And I’ve chosen to keep my baby, my parents already know. I just thought it would be courteous to let you know too. I wish you well Richard. Good bye.” I replied, then ended the call. 

A few seconds later, my phone rang again but I ignored it when I checked the caller ID and saw Richard’s name. When it rang again I checked the caller ID and saw that it was Bruce.

“B?” I asked, picking up the phone as I felt tears spill from my eyes. Everything was beginning to catch up to me and the fact that I almost lost Arthur today sent chills right to my bones.

“What is this mess that Richard posted all over social media?!”

“What mess?” I asked, sitting back up.

“Alex, you fucking told him the baby is his?!”

“What?!” I asked. 

I jumped up and ran to my computer. I quickly logged in and saw millions of notifications on Instagram. 

Then, I saw the picture. 

It was a picture of me and Rich at some stupid dinner party. Underneath he captioned, “We would like to formally announce that we are expecting our first child! We are shocked but so excited to share this journey with all of you”

I almost fell out of my chair, my head spun and everything went black for a moment.

Now the entire world knew that I was pregnant. 

***

The frenzy that ensued after Richard posted the pregnancy announcement was disorienting. 

Not 5 minutes later, it was breaking news across the nation. 

My parents rushed back into my room as soon as they heard the news. They were on the phone all night with PR people from Wayne Enterprises on what to do with this scandal. 

Bruce arrived just minutes after ending our call to be with me through all of this turmoil. 

While my parents talked on the phone with PR, Rich’s parents arrived and began to question everything, understandably as they were very aware that I did not have any feelings towards their son. Rich showed up like he had planned this all along.   
We argued, I told them my baby was not Richard’s but Richard said it was and that he would demand a paternity test to prove it when the baby was born. 

It was insane to me that I insisted the that baby wasn’t his. He knew this was most likely Arthur’s baby, why would he even want to claim it as his?! Our parents didn’t know what to do. 

Bruce was understandably confused and pissed. 

“What the fuck Alex?” he asked. 

“Bruce please, not right now,” I begged wiping my tears for the millionth time. 

“Does he know that the baby is not his?!” He asked

“Please keep your voice down,” I begged. 

“Alex, Fleck needs to know the truth!” Bruce insisted. 

“Bruce, please… I don’t feel good…” I whispered, standing.

“Where are you going?” Rich’s mom snapped at me.

“I feel sick, I’m going to get some air,” I replied. 

“Alex,” Bruce called after me but I quickly left the room. 

I disappeared to my favorite part of the gardens. It felt desolate and lonely there. I knew cameras couldn’t see me in that specific area and that made me feel more at ease to relax. And cry. 

I sat in the bench near one of the little ponds and covered my face, bursting into tears. 

I thought about how close I had been to running away with Arthur, and also about how close I had been to losing him forever. 

Maybe I should just tell him? I was trying to protect Arthur from the truth but lately it felt more like I was protecting Thomas Wayne’s image. Thomas didn’t deserve anything good from either of us, and maybe Arthur needed to know the truth about him. Maybe Bruce also needed to know the real Thomas Wayne…

I heard rustling on the other side of the massive fence and quickly jumped to my feet, staring into the darkness. 

“Alex?” I heard Arthur’s voice. 

I quickly ran over, “A-Arthur?” I asked, my heart stopping when I saw him. 

I felt sick to my stomach as I watched him come closer so that I could see him in the darkness. He grabbed two of the bars from the massive fence in both hands and pressed his face between them. He looked exhausted. 

Behind the bars he looked like he was in prison… 

“How did you know I was here?!” I asked, looking around in fright. What if someone had seen him?! What if Thomas Wayne was following him?! 

“Bruce told me you like to hide in this part of the gardens…” he replied, shyly avoiding my eyes.

Bruce still had contact with Arthur. How was I going to put an end to that? 

I was seriously in trouble. 

Everything was slipping from my hands and spinning out of control. One of the most important things Thomas had asked me to do was to keep Bruce and Arthur apart…

“You need to leave right now, and you need to stop all contact with my family, that includes Bruce!” I warned, tears spilling from my eyes but I tried to be firm so that he would believe I meant what I said. 

“Alex, I love you,” Arthur whispered, reaching for me with his right hand but the bars held him back,“I-I love you so much, I love you more than—”

“Stop,” I warned, covering my ears. 

He watched me, once again grabbing the bars in his hands. His eyes studied my face as his thick, dark eyebrows knitted in confusion. 

“Alex, if you think I’m angry about the baby, I’m not, I love you and the baby so much, I promise to work harder for you and our baby… I’ll work more hours, I’ll work until I can get you a home, where we can raise our baby together. I promise to work as hard as I have to so that we can be a family and so you can have everything you need—”

“You can’t give me what they do Arthur, you can’t and you never will be able to!” I snapped, those words cutting my heart open. I could feel it breaking, bleeding, shattering inside my chest. I could feel everything inside me dying, “This isn’t our baby, there is no “our” baby, this is my baby… mine and Richard’s…” I replied. I felt faint, everything around me spun. I felt myself begin to sob. Again, it was like I was looking on from a distance, because I also felt numb.

“Don’t say that…” He whispered, his innocent, throaty plea broke what was left of me.

“This is not our baby, this is MY baby,” I felt myself say, now ugly crying so hard I couldn’t feel anything. 

“Alex—"

“Mine and Richard’s baby,” I repeated, “Now go away and don’t ever come back.” I begged him. 

I would die. I would die. I could already feel myself dying. 

He looked into my eyes with his big, sad, beautiful green ones.

I felt a jolt of pain when the first of his painful laugh began, tears began spilling from his eyes, “Alex… I don’t care if the baby is Richard’s… I love both of you—”

“I don’t care Arthur, leave me alone, it’s over, go away,” I choked out.

He stared at me again, his laugh growing louder and more uncontrollable, “Don’t say that…” he begged, laughing/crying in pain, “I’ll try harder, I promise—” He lowered himself to his knees and I had to look away and cover my sobs, “Alex, I promise I’ll try harder for you and the baby—” 

“GO AWAY AND DON’T EVER COME BACK!” I yelled at him, then with that, I turned and ran, leaving him begging on the other side of the bars that held me prisoner.


	35. The Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex finds herself in a battle between what she wants and what she feels she needs to do and has no control over which will win. 
> 
> *Happy Valentine's day everyone!*
> 
> *This chapter is rated M*

Try as I might, I could not bring myself to get out of bed, to eat, or do anything other than lay in bed with the covers over my head so that no one could see me cry. 

“So we’re doing this again?” Bruce sighed. I could feel him place his hand on my back in comfort. 

I didn’t respond. 

On the 3rd day of no eating, Ashley came to see me and ordered IVs and other medications. 

“The baby will not survive if you do not start making an effort, Alex,” she warned, “do you not want the baby to live?”

“I want my baby,” I whispered.

“Then you have got to start giving the baby what it needs for survival,” she insisted.

“I have been trying to tell her that,” Bruce replied. 

“We’re doing something this afternoon that I think you will enjoy, it’s a community service project to help screen and treat lower income folks who are having fertility issues,” she explained, “I think it would be good for you to help out like old times.”

I looked at her as she fixed her equipment then placed the cold gel on my tummy. She began to scan slowly, “This poor baby is a fighter,” she smiled, “good heart, still a little small in size…”

I watched the screen and smiled when I saw the image of my little gift from Arthur. Of course baby was a fighter. Baby’s father was a fighter…

“Do you know the gender?” I asked.

“It’s way too early to know,” she replied.

I nodded, but seeing the little heart on the screen hit me hard and suddenly, I covered my face and began to cry. 

“Oh Alex,” Ashley sighed as she put the wand aside then hugged me tightly. 

She knew why I cried. It was no secret to her that it broke me to not be able to have him here at my side to share these moments with me…

I felt Bruce’s hand squeeze my shoulder gently, silently showing me his support and letting me know that he too was here with me.

***

Ashley and Bruce finally got me to agree after lots of convincing to help her out with the community project. 

She was right, falling back into something I loved doing did help bring my mood up a little bit. 

I had helped her with these community projects before and knew how to perform noninvasive tests and physicals as well as administer some shots and draw blood under her direct supervision. I did most of the question asking though, filling out the forms and documenting the patient concerns and obtaining background information for Ashley. 

Nothing could have prepared me for this day.

“Please wait in that line, it was a pleasure working with you,” I pointed the line out for them, “Ashley will see you shorty, thank you for coming,” I smiled at the man and woman who I had just worked with. 

“I’m ready for the next one Suzie, thank you,” I called out, cleaning up my work area and disinfecting for the next person/people. 

As I cleaned my area up, I heard the tent zipper zip open then close, “Hi, good afternoon, I’m Alex, I’ll get some of the questions started and depending on--” I stopped dead in my tracks and dropped the can of wipes that I had in my hands as I stared up into green eyes that I could never forget, not in a million years. 

“Alex…” he whispered. 

I just stared at him, feeling like my feet were frozen to the ground. 

“I-I heard you were here… I wanted to see you…” he explained, “I-I don’t want to make you upset but—”

“Just go,” I shook my head, feeling short of breath. I leaned against the table, feeling faint, my eyes flickering to the zipper in fear that someone knew he was inside the tent with me. 

“Alex… I have been dying to talk to you, I know you didn’t mean those things you said, I know it… I’ve been working more—” 

“Go, if you aren’t having fertility issues then you need to leave right now,” I cut him off.

(Let’s all take a moment to laugh because we all know that Arthur Fleck is definitely NOT having fertility issues)

“Alex—”

“Are you having fertility issues?” I repeated, cutting him off yet again. 

“N-no?” he replied, “I don’t think so?”

No Arthur, you are not. My morning sickness and exhausted body which is growing a tiny human that you put inside me that likes to remind me that I can no longer have my favorite snack says that you are not having any issues in that area. 

“Then you need to leave,” I snapped. 

“Alex—”

“You need to leave, right now!” I cut him off again. 

“I am having issues with that…” he replied then, saying what he needed to in order for me to not kick him out. 

“Arthur…” I gave him a look. 

His green eyes dropped to my abdomen and I felt my face burn red. I knew what he was thinking. 

“Sit down then,” I snapped. 

I didn’t know why of all emotions I had towards him, which included sadness, heartache, desire, fear, longing… anger was the one I was showing right now. 

He took a seat, “Alex I’ve—”

“Shhh!” I snapped, collecting my papers with shaking hands. I sat down in front of him, then as I organized my papers, I realized that I was still wearing the ring he gave me. I removed it discreetly under the table, making sure to put it safely in my pocket so that I could put it back on as soon as I didn’t have him sitting right in front of me. 

He noticed. 

“Alex… you’re not wearing the ring…”. He whispered, his voice sad and heartbroken.

“I threw it away,” I lied.

“You wouldn’t do that…” his voice cracked with pain and my heart squeezed at the sound.

I ignored him, “How long have you been trying to conceive with your partner?” I began, feeling my face burn even redder. 

“I haven’t been trying,” he replied, “princess, I know you didn’t mean those things… I love you—" 

“Do you have a partner?” I asked, ignoring him and cutting him off at the same time. That question was not in the questionnaire. 

And did he really just call my princess? Please don’t do this to me, Arthur Fleck...

“I don’t know...” 

My eyes flickered up to him then quickly back to the page. I wondered for a moment if he was talking about someone else or me?

“Have you conceived before?”

“I don’t know…” he replied, “… the baby—" 

I let my hands come down on the table loudly and he jumped a little with the sudden noise. I looked up at him, “you’re wasting my time and our resources.”

“Alex, you know the answer to that better than I do,” he replied.

“What answer?” I snapped, “This has nothing to do with me!” I lied, feeling my face get hotter and hotter. I shook my head and continued, hoping that that would somehow makes anything better, “Are you aware of any treated or untreated sexually transmitted illnesses like herpes?”

“I’ve only been with you, and I’ll never be with anyone else,” he replied.

I ignored how my heart fluttered with his response, “would you like to take a quick test today just to confirm in case you need medications?”

“If you want me too,” he replied.

“I told you this isn’t about me,” I snapped.

“My whole life is about you—”

“Arthur, that’s enough! I am with Richard, I’ve already told you that,” I replied, feeling frustrated. I didn’t know if he was crazy or if he had just completely decided to forget that that awful conversation had happened. I couldn’t go through that again, it took me weeks to recover…I got a sudden flashback of him in that screen in the interrogation room... of how close I had been to never seeing him alive again... 

“I know that’s not true, you’re my princess,” he whispered. 

“Arthur—” I felt the butterflies in to stomach flutter. That soft, raspy voice of his got me every time. Every damn time…

I looked back at the papers, trying to take a moment to collect myself and find strength I knew I didn't have. 

“When was the last time you tried?” I asked, trying to forget and ignore how my knees felt weak.

“Tried?” he asked.

“Had unprotected sex with a woman, what’s what ‘tried’ means, Arthur,” I snapped.

“Unprotected sex? The last time was the night of my show, with you—” 

“Okay, that’s enough,” I collected the papers, I could feel myself giving in. “I’m going to politely ask you to leave right now. Go, just go,” I snapped, throwing the papers in the trash. 

He stood, coming around the desk, “Please talk to me, Alex, what is it? What is making you say those things to me? I know you don’t mean them,” he reached for my hand but I pulled away, “I love you, you and our baby…” 

I couldn’t let him touch me, I couldn’t, I knew I couldn’t.

“This is MY baby!” I half yelled. I could feel tears begin to collect in my vision, then I realized something. I looked up at him, “How did you even know I was here?” I asked. 

He dropped his gaze.

“Arthur, how did you know I was here?” I repeated. I had only agreed to help out a few hours ago, how did Arthur know that he could find me here? 

I could tell he was trying to make himself lie to me. 

“Arthur, who told you?!” I questioned, storming over and shoving him. I studied his eyes, then realized, “You still talk to Bruce, don’t you?” I asked. 

He didn’t reply. 

I shoved him again, “Arthur! I told you to stop talking to Bruce! You don’t understand! You just don’t understand anything!” I cried/yelled as panic began to set in. 

As I was preparing to yell at him again… I suddenly realized he… he was hard. I wiped the tear that had rolled down my cheek, “Arthur, are you seriously hard right now?!” I asked, forgetting what I was even going to yell at him about. 

He couldn’t even look up at me, “I-I’ve never seen you angry…” he stuttered out.

I just stared at him. Was this him saying that angry me turned him on?!

I wanted to hit him, I wanted to kick him and slap him but I also wanted to fuck him so hard.

The heat that engulfed me in that moment let me know really quick what emotion had won. 

I lunged myself at him like an animal, making him loose his footing and stumble back against the flimsy plastic table.

I had never felt those pregnancy hormones until now. And they were a bitch. 

Poor Arthur. I could tell by the way he kissed me that he was in complete confusion. 

My hands slid up into his brunette locks, grabbing fistfuls of them and tugging them as I pulled myself closer, standing on my tip toes as my tongue slid into his mouth. I moaned, feeling myself get hot all over. My body pressed his against the table as his hands went around my waist, then slowly slid up my back, making shivers run down my spine. 

I pulled back suddenly and made quick work of his pants, his hands flew back to the table to steady himself as I undid his trousers and roughly pulled them down to his knees. I took his hard cock into my mouth and sucked for a few seconds, bobbing my head back and forward and then taking all of him into my mouth, letting his head hit the back of my throat and then slide down, making me gag and cough.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me up and I jumped up and into his arms.

Now we were on the same page. 

We kissed feverishly as he turned and placed me on the table. We both worked together to quickly pulled my pants down to my ankles, unable to take the time to remove my shoes so that’s as far as they went. 

He was inside me in an instant and pounding away before I had time to catch my breath from the initial feeling. 

I moaned as quietly as I could, looking up at him as my feet bounced at either side of his head with his quick, deep thrusts. My knees quivered against each other, his hands gripped my thighs against his abdomen, then moved to grab my hips to keep me in place at the edge of the table. 

I wished I could spread my legs wide open, but in that moment I was content with how deep this angle allowed him to go and how he looked basically wearing me as a necklace. 

How comical would it be to get pregnant at the fertility clinic by natural means?

Well… if I wasn’t already pregnant, that is.

What was I even thinking?!

“Alex,” he moaned and I could feel his fingers digging into my skin. 

He was close, I knew it, it had been a while and I knew he was close. 

I reached down in between my legs, pulling my quivering knees apart as I began to pleasure myself as he fucked me. That warm, honey-like feeling came fast for me. And for him.

Our eyes locked together, our breaths hot and heavy as we came together. I felt his hot, thick seed fill me as his thrusts faltered and his body shivered against me. 

I almost choked him with my pants around my ankles as I came and my legs straightened and stiffened. 

I was soaring as I felt him bring my legs together on his right shoulder, effectively saving his own life because I was gone in that moment. 

I’m glad he did that instead of pull out because I might have murdered him right then and there if he had pulled out. 

Good job Arthur Fleck.

I grabbed for him as I came crashing down. I managed to get my hand on his collar and I pulled him down, kissing him hotly and breathlessly even though I was still fighting to catch my breath and my hamstrings were being stretched to their snapping point. 

Right then something dinged loudly right next to my left ear. 

With his cock still inside me, his cum hot and deep within my womb, my legs on his right shoulder, our mouths together... He pulled back to pick up whatever fell out of my pants and into my messy curls which were sprawled all over the table. 

What was it you ask?

The ring.


	36. The Psychiatrist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex discovers that teamwork makes the dream work, and she's done being a solo player.

He looked between the ring and me. I was still lying on my back on the table with him deep inside me. What was I even supposed to say to explain myself? 

“Alex?! Honey, are you ready for the next one?” I heard Suzie, the receptionist, suddenly ask from the other side of the curtain.

That startled both Arthur and I.

“You have to go!” I whispered, quickly snatching the ring back and pushing him off me.

“Alex—"

“Arthur, I’m serious! You have to leave, now!” I quickly put the ring back on and hurriedly, but carefully, hopped off the table.

He watched me, slowly pulling his pants up, “Alex, I wanted to talk—” 

“We don’t have time to talk anymore!” I snapped, quickly wiping myself clean, pulling my pants and underwear up, then shoving him towards the zipper door. He quickly fastened his pants back up as I pushed him to the exit.

He turned to me, “But Alex—”

“I hope we took care of your concerns Sir, have a good afternoon!” I said loudly, opening the zipper and pushing him out of the tent. 

He glanced at Suzie, who was watching us. 

“T-thank you…” he muttered. 

I smiled at Suzie, “please send the next person, thank you.”

I looked back at Arthur one last time before having to go back into the tent to disinfect for the next person.

We didn’t even discuss how we would see each other again or when or if we would. I didn’t really see that as possible at that time.

But the next time he popped back into my life was much, much sooner than I had expected and in a way that I NEVER could have anticipated. 

Let it be known that you should never, ever underestimate Arthur Fleck.

***

“Alex, please come down to my office,” I heard the announcement from my father while I was brushing my teeth that morning, just 2 days after getting dirty with Arthur in the tent. 

Anything unexpected always filled me with fear instantly. I rinsed my mouth and hurried to his study, out of breath when I finally arrived. 

“That was fast,” he frowned. There was another man, older with gray hair, sitting opposite of my dad across his large study. 

“Ashley recommended that you begin seeing a psychiatrist,” my dad began.

“No, please,” I gave him a look, “I told Ashley that I don’t want or need any of that.”

He cleared his throat and I realized that the man sitting with him WAS the psychiatrist.

“Oh… I’m truly sorry sir, I meant no disrespect, I just feel very strongly that it will make no difference, not that I undervalue for skills but… it’s just hard to explain. Please understand.” I replied. 

“I understand Miss Wayne, but I recommend we sit down and just talk for a little while…” his voice was clear and deep with age. 

“Sir, really, I—”

“Miss Wayne, I’m here to help you,” he assured me. 

“Alex?” My father asked, “He was recommended by Ashley,” he reminded me. 

I sighed and nodded, though this was the last thing I wanted. 

“Please be open,” my father smiled. 

He and I both didn’t know just how open I was going to be.

The psychiatrist stood, picked up his briefcase, and followed me out the door. I took him to the library and we sat down at one of the tables.

"Look, Sir, I really don't want to come off as rude but I assure you, I will not require your services. What i'm going through... there is nothing you can do to help me--"

“Alex, please don’t be angry with me,” he said, but it wasn’t his voice or mannerisms anymore. 

I screamed and covered my mouth, looking up at him with huge, shocked eyes.

“ARTHUR?!” I screamed/whispered. 

He nodded.

“ARTHUR FLECK?!!!! I gasped somehow screaming in a whisper. 

He pulled the salt-pepper colored wig off to show me his chocolate-colored curls. I gasped in shock, quickly snatching the wig from his hands and placing it back on his head. I quickly pulled him up and shoved him towards the rows of bookshelves. 

“What the hell are you doing here?!” I gasped, “Arthur, you cannot be HERE!! In my house!!! Sitting with my father! Are you crazy?!?!!” I snapped.

“Alex… I needed to talk to you...”

“But you don’t even understand how dangerous this is! You can’t be here!”

“But why?! I don’t understand why?” he replied. 

If I wasn’t so terrified in that moment, I would have laughed at the way he looked with those glasses, the crooked nose, and mustache. Though his big pretty eyes were the same and he blinked them so preciously in confusion. 

I looked up at him and sighed, covering my face with my hands. 

“I’m sorry Alex…” he whispered quickly, “I’m sorry...”

Sorry for what Arthur? My beautiful, precious, innocent angel?

“Arthur, you really, really can’t be here, I mean it,” I whispered.

“Why Alex? Is it really because you don’t love me anymore?” He asked, “Do you really not love me anymore?” his soft, innocent voice tore my heart to pieces. 

I sighed, not knowing what to do. Lie to him again? Hurt him again? I couldn’t. 

“Alex, I promised you I was going to try, I was going to work hard until I could give you all the things you want,” he whispered, “I’m going to work until I can give you what they do—“

“You know that none of that matters to me… you know that Arthur…” I replied. 

My words confused him. I had told him the complete opposite and I truly made no sense at this point. Why did he even bother with me?

“I’ll work until we can be together without you having to worry—”

“How?” I asked, “How are you going to do that Arthur?”

“I’ll do more shows, more shows like the last one…”

“How is that going to help us be together? You don’t even know why we can’t be together Arthur…”

“If it’s not the money… then why Alex?” he asked, almost pleading. I could see how hard he was trying to make sense of this mess without knowing the truth. 

But I thought about what he was saying for a moment. 

If he did more shows, built the name and company, the power to influence and have a voice against Thomas Wayne… that could work… and that could be our answer.

I looked back up at him and that’s when I decided to come clean. If we were going to do this, he needed to know the truth. We needed to be a team. 

“Because Thomas Wayne will kill you,” I whispered. 

He looked down at me, “What do you mean?”

“The ‘mugging’… that was him… I had all plans to leave Gotham with you forever, but somehow he knew that I was planning to disappear with you and he pulled me away from the gate that night at the airport…” I whispered, hugging myself as I looked up into his lovely eyes, “he told me that he had someone ready to harm you and momma P if I didn’t agree to stay away from you forever... and to make sure that you and Bruce never talked again,” I wiped the single tear that ran down my cheek. 

“Alex, it’s okay, the police assured me that it was a mugging,” he replied softly. 

I shook my head, “Thomas told me himself, I called him that night and that was the only reason we were able to find you,” I whispered. 

He blinked his big eyes in disbelief, “The police officer said—”

“He said whatever Thomas Wayne paid him to say Arthur… I am not speculating, this is true,” I assured him. 

He shook his head, still in denial, “I haven’t told anyone…”

“That doesn’t matter to him, he doesn’t even want there to be possibilities out there,” I wiped my tears again, “which is why he went through all the trouble to falsify adoption documents and pay doctors to wrongfully diagnose momma P with all kinds of mental illnesses…” 

He laughed painfully though he tried to conceal it. My heart clenched when I heard that painful laugh. I quickly took him into my arms, cupping his head against me as he laughed through his pain, “He wanted to kill me…” he repeated. 

The realization of how much this man, his own father, hated him hit him hard. I closed my eyes and tried to be strong for him. I knew that deep down, Arthur had always had hope that maybe Thomas Wayne cared about him even just a little. It broke my heart to be the one to destroy that dream.

“I love you more than life itself, Arthur Fleck, that will never change,” I whispered to him, “I’m so sorry for every awful thing that I said to you, for hurting you… I can’t do it anymore and I have to tell you the truth, so that you know why I had to say those things to you, I’m sorry for hurting you by having to tell you something so awful… and I’m sorry for hurting you by trying to protect you from knowing how truly awful that man is… I’m the one that is sorry, my love, I’m sorry for all of your pain,” I let silent tears spill from my eyes as I hugged him tightly in my arms, “But know that no matter what, you are my entire world Arthur, my whole entire world and I will love you forever.” 

He pulled back, still laughing/sniffling to look into my eyes. I took his face into my hands and rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes. I listened to the last of his laughing/crying and whispered over and over how much I loved him. I pulled back and gently dried his tears with my sleeves, “please understand why I’m so scared to have you near, I can’t lose you Arthur,” I whispered. 

He nodded.

“We have to be smarter than him,” I whispered, “we have to prepare for our life together without him knowing, we have to be ready for when everything hits the fan because it will Arthur, it will, and I will not stand back and let him cover everything up again, I will not be his prisoner forever.”

“Prepare?” he asked.

I nodded, “Yes, prepare. Build our escape,”

He still looked confused.

“Arthur, you have the potential to be very successful, and with that comes power, power over him. That power will allow us to be together,” I wiped his tears and I could see his mind process what I was saying.

“So more shows?”

“Yes, more shows, more success, building a name. A company. An escape,” I replied. 

“Do you think I can do that?”

“You can, you are more than capable and you have the talent. I will help you with the business part of it. We will do it Arthur, we can and we will.”   
.  
“You really want to be with me?... Even though I will never be able to give you—”

I cut him off, shaking my head, “Arthur, I know I said awful things to you that night but I was so, so scared. He practically had a gun to your head and I was so scared… I didn’t know what to do. But I’m tired of being scared. I want you to know that all of this, all of this money and these riches and brands… they mean nothing to me, I promise you that none of it matters to me, I love you,” I kissed him softly, “You are my entire world… nothing else matters. We will build our life together, it will all be okay,” I whispered, more to myself than him, “And I know that we can do this together.” 

And so we agreed to continue this ridiculous psychiatrist/patient façade while we built our future. We agreed that if we were discovered and his life was in danger, our plan would be to threaten Thomas Wayne with revealing the truth and exposing him to the world if it came to that. 

I pulled back suddenly, "Wait... Ash recommended you?"

He chuckled a little and nodded. 

I could feel myself smile for the first time in a long time. 

Now to build our escape.


	37. 1st Therapy Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Arthur have their first therapy session. 
> 
> *This chapter is rated M for mature*

He was to come and see me 3 times per week for as long as I needed. 

I would have Arthur in my very own home, uninterrupted. 

Now to be open with my new psychiatrist. 

I waited excitedly for him.

I had bathed, shaved, put on some deep, red lingerie, spritzed perfume all over myself, and dressed casually of course to not raise suspicions. I finished by putting a little blush on my cheeks when I heard the announcement. 

“Miss Alex, Dr. Carnival is here.”

I laughed at the name, then cleared my throat, “Please send him up Paul, thank you,” I tried to sound bored and uninterested. I hoped I wouldn’t blow our whole cover with my excitement. 

My hands ached. I couldn’t wait to put them all over him. My heart skipped, knowing with certainly that I was going to laid by Dr. Carnival today and that it was going to be amazing. 

When Paul knocked, I took a deep breath and went to the door. 

“Good morning Dr. Carnival, thanks Paul,” I thanked him, “Come in sir, we can go to my private library,” I motioned for him to come in. 

“Of course Miss Wayne, let me know if you need anything,” Paul smiled and closed the door for us. 

I waited. 

And waited. 

And waited. 

And then shoved him against the door. 

He chuckled as he stumbled back and his back hit the door. I took the suitcase from his hands and never let our eyes break eye contact as I placed it by the door then slowly stood back up. I stood on my tip toes and placed a soft peck on his lips, “Good to see you again, Dr. Carnival,” I whispered, biting my lip. His scent was addicting to me, he smelled a little bit like aftershave, cologne, and like the city. 

He laughed nervously. I had never been this bold. Let’s blame it on the pregnancy hormones. 

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” I grinned.

“Surprise?” He asked. 

I reached behind him and locked the door, then began to remove this wig, prosthetic nose, glue on mustache… until it was just my Arthur in Dr. Carnival’s clothing. I nodded at his question. 

“Don’t you want to see it?” I asked, my body was already on fire. 

He nodded in excitement. I could also feel his excitement against my abdomen. 

“Then start undressing me,” I whispered, my eyes gazing between his. 

He took my face into his hands then, making my entire body burst into flames as he kissed me deeply, igniting all of the desire and lust to the point it was burning me and I wanted everything off my body. 

His hands pulled my shirt up and I put a little distance between us so that he could see what it revealed as he lifted it up and off. I grinned as he swallowed thickly, his eyes on the deep red see through material. When he didn’t move to continue with my jeans, too transfixed on my breasts, I unfastened them myself and slowly pulled them down. I giggled as I kicked them off and watched as he pulled on the thigh part of his trousers to try and adjust himself with the tightness and discomfort of his clothing.

“Are you not going to touch?” I asked.

“Can I?” he asked innocently. 

“Sir, everything you see is yours,” I whispered sexily, grabbing his face and pulling him down for another deep kiss. I felt his hands on my back as I kissed him. They slid down slowly, icy cold as they came to rest on my bare ass. I felt as he squeezed, and thankfully the panties had no bottom or I would have soaked them completely. I pulled him to the bed, quickly unfastening his trousers. I put my hand down his pants and on his hard cock as soon as I had his pants unfastened. 

He moaned as I stroked it, quickly removing his hands from my body to remove his coat, sweater, and button up shirt. I watched, biting my bottom lip as he removed his clothing. 

Sorry for not helping Arthur, I have my hands on the prize. 

I pulled him into my bed and crawled on top of him, kissing him deeply as I felt his hands explore my body. 

“You’re so beautiful Alex,” he breathed. 

I blushed and grinned as we kissed again, his arms wrapping around me and then gently rolling me onto my back.

Excitement began to flood me, making my heart both race and skip as he kissed down my neck, chest, and abdomen. I giggled when he realized that there was no bottom to the underwear, then moaned as he kept going until his kisses reached the part of me that craved his touch the most. He didn’t even hesitate to lick all the way up my slit.

My back arched and my body instantly went flying. I spread my legs wide as he began to eat me. 

It felt amazing. In that moment everything disappeared. I felt his tongue spread my folds and I squeaked when he touched my sweet spot. He noticed my reaction and went back to it without me having to tell him. I felt my face flush, my stomach fill with butterflies, and my world burst into flames as I looked into his beautiful eyes as they peered up at me over my mound. 

“Arthur!” I moaned, grabbing a handful of his curls as my body twisted and withered. 

How had I gotten so lucky? 

I squeaked again, unable to take more, “Fuck me! Please fuck me Arthur!” I begged, throwing my head back as I felt him quickly adjust on top of me and then lower himself down, pressing his body against mine.

I opened up to him.

Opened my legs right up for him. 

I moaned in delight as I felt his thick, blunt head slide up and down my already soaking lips. I quivered with desire, pulling my knees back and then reaching down to help him find my entrance. 

It had been a while, I’ll give him that. 

He pushed in very gently, making my body feel like I was bursting into flames once again and soaring in the sky at the same time. 

I grabbed his face and kissed him deeply, tasting myself on his lips and licking the mess off from his chin. 

His first thrusts rocked me gently. I stretched my body, arching my spine and moaning at the delicious feeling. 

I wasn’t even aware of exactly how much I craved his touch. 

We kissed and caressed every bit of each other that we could as we made love slowly at first, then completely let loose after we had our fill of kisses and caresses. 

Pretty soon, we were a sweating, panting, breathless, thrusting mess. We had long since thrown my see through lingerie aside, given up trying to go slow, and forgetting whatever reservations we had initially felt. 

My legs were wide open, his hands on either side of the bed just above my hips, my hands gripped his upper arms, feeling the muscles shift every time he thrusted into me. My nails dug into his skin as I slowly caressed the contracting muscles of his abdomen until I reached his thrusting hips and watched as they slammed into mine, burying his length deep with every delightful plunge. 

I moaned like a whore the entire time, no shame in it whatsoever. My toes curled when he gave me another blinding high that left me begging softly for another. 

We were both so sweaty that our skin glistened in the darkness with the little sunlight that came through the closed curtains. 

He laid with his legs spread out, hands lazily resting on my waist when we switched so I was on top. I panted hard, our eyes held each other as I bounced on his cock in a squatted position, taking all of it inside me. 

“I’m going to come,” he breathed, that precious face that he always made when he was close made me grin. He warned me again right before I felt it, hot and thick spreading inside me. 

But I kept going. He grabbed my hips to stop me but I grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands away, continuing to ride him hard.

“Fuck!” he gasped, “Alex!” He struggled with me until he finally just grabbed my hips and lifted my whole body off of him. I let myself fall into the bed beside him, giggling at him. He looked like he was about to pass out. I grinned at his hard, twitching, cum-covered cock as he laid there trying to catch his breath. I reached for it but he grabbed my hands to stop me.

“Wait, please let me breathe,” he panted/pleaded. 

I giggled as I played with the cum that oozed out of me, spreading it over my folds then bringing my fingers to my lips for a taste. 

“I think I went to heaven,” he chuckled, eyes still closed. 

“Me too,” I giggled as I licked my lips. 

He chuckled again. 

“That would have definitely made a baby,” I teased, making him giggle. 

“It did last time,” he reminded me. 

I looked over at him. I swallowed thickly, still panting, my pulse racing from fucking him so hard. 

“I know it’s my baby Alex,” he panted softly, his eyes looking between mine. 

We both looked at each other for a bit, catching our breath before he moved back over to me, sliding his arms around my waist and pulling me close. 

“I could never be with anyone else,” I whispered to him and he nodded. He already knew that. I nuzzled close to him and closed my eyes as his hands slowly caressed up and down my sweaty back. 

“I love you so much Alexandria Wayne,” he whispered. 

I smiled with my face resting against his chest, “And I love you, Arthur Fleck,” I whispered back.


	38. Dating The Psychiatrist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Alex get to feel what it's like to date for the first time.

“We didn’t even talk about the shows!” I insisted.

“But Alex, I’ve been here for 4 hours,” Arthur replied gently. 

4 hours and we had fucked the entire time. I was EXHAUSTED. And I couldn’t imagine how tired he must feel, because he had truly delivered. 

“They said you could stay as long as I needed!” I replied. I was laying on top of him, still in bed.

“I don’t want to raise suspicions,” he tried to be reasonable. 

I pouted, but before he gave in, because I could see that he was going to, I nodded. I gave him another kiss and then finally rolled off of him. 

I watched as he got up and began to dress, checking out all that I had just gotten to enjoy over and over and over again. 

I giggled and he looked over at me as he pulled his pants up, “What is it?” he chuckled shyly. 

“You have claw marks all over your back, on your ass… does it hurt?” I asked, feeling a little bad.

“Naww,” he shrugged with a little shoulder shrug, It was that adorable little shrug that I loved so fucking much. 

I giggled as I played with my VERY sore, cum stuffed pussy under the covers. 

“If you don’t stop looking at me like that I will never leave,” he warned me with a shy chuckle. 

“I don’t want you to leave, that’s the point darling,” I giggled. 

He came over once he was fully dressed and placed one of his fingers under my chin, lifting my face up for a deep, loving kiss, “I love you princess…” he whispered.

I bit my lip, looking into his eyes, “And I you, my precious Carnival,” I smiled. We kissed again and then I reached for my robe, put it on, then walked with him to my bedroom door. I hugged him tightly to me, sliding my fingers into his slightly sweaty curls, “Please take care, I’ll see you Wednesday,” I whispered. I felt him nod and then we both pulled back.

Suddenly I remembered something, “Oh, wait!” I hurried back to my bed and pulled the bag out from underneath. He quickly came over to help me place it on the bed. It wasn’t heavy at all but I loved how he was taking care of me. I dug through it until I found the sonogram picture, then handed it to him, “It’s our baby’s first picture,” I whispered and he smiled so big and so precious that I had to kiss him again. “I want you to keep it,” I smiled up at him. 

He nodded, chuckling a little and wiping a tear from his eye as he looked down at the black and white sonogram photo. It took all my strength not to cry in that moment. I watched as he took his notebook out and put the picture inside. We kissed again, and he kneeled down to kiss my tummy before he left. 

I couldn’t wait to see him again. 

I busied myself with university, catching up on all I had missed, and also getting back into the groove of things at Wayne Enterprises as to not raise suspicions. But most importantly, I began planning Arthur’s next show. 

Now, I could talk to him by phone as he was my ‘doctor’ and was to be available on call for me at any time of day. He had gotten a cheap phone and I swear I texted him all day. 

Tonight I was talking with him on facetime as he headed to practice for the upcoming show I was still planning. It was late, probably a little after 10:30 pm. 

“You look so beautiful,” he smiled. 

I giggled, “Arthur, I just got out of the shower and I literally look so awful,” I shook my head at him. 

“I think you look beautiful,” he replied. 

I smiled, “Well, you look precious, Mr. Carnival,” we both smiled at each other for a moment. 

“Also, what is all this about Ashley recommending you? How?” I asked as I took my hair down and gently began to pat it dry with the towel. 

He shrugged as he hurried into the subway and found a seat, “I asked her for help…”

“So it was your idea?”

He nodded.

I gave him a look and his big eyes studied me, “How did you get Ashley to even agree to that?” 

He shrugged, “She was worried about you… and so was Bruce…”

“So now you have both of them on your team,” I giggled. 

He chuckled. 

“But please remember, try to limit all contact with B,” I reminded him. 

He nodded. 

We watched each other for a moment and then I made a face at him. He chuckled at me. 

“I have a surprise for you,” He replied suddenly. 

I stopped brushing my hair, “Oh yeah?” I asked, my heart skipping in excitement, “Where?! I want to see!” 

“I’m going to show you tomorrow when I see you,” he chuckled. 

I bit my lip, “I want to see now!” I pouted, now very excited. 

He chuckled, “I can’t show you right now Alex.”

My eyes widened as I thought of the possibilities. 

“It’s not that type of surprise,” he quickly added, chuckling because he knew what I was thinking, “At least, not the one I’m talking about right now,” he added when I frowned. 

“Aaaaaaaaaaaarthurrrrrrr!!!!” I pouted, “I want to see!! Please!!! You can’t say something like that and expect me to wait!!!” I begged. 

“I’ll give you a hint, the idea was in my journal, but your surprise yesterday inspired it,” he chuckled. 

I frowned. The red lingerie?! And it was in the journal?! The sound of the subway stopping cut off my train of thought. “But there's so much material in your journal, impossible to know what you’re referring to!” I insisted.

He chuckled at me as I watched him exist the subway and go up the stairs, “You will see it tomorrow morning, have a little patience,” he teased.

“Arthur Fleck, you’re going to pay for this,” I warned, giggling with him. 

“That just makes me more excited,” he teased back.

“Oh right, I forgot that you like when I get angry,” I replied. I couldn’t stop laughing when his whole face turned red. 

“I’m here, I’ll talk to you later,” he replied.

“Suuuuuure,” I giggled, making him laugh shyly, “I love you baby,” I whispered, blowing him a kiss.

“I love you more princess,” he replied. 

I blew him another kiss before we hung up. 

I worked on the plans for the show and Happy Entertainment until he called me again after his practice. He was so sweaty, his hair sticking to his face as he walked past the city lights but my god did he look so beautiful. By that time, it really was late and I was in bed just waiting to hear from him again. Even though he had wanted to let me sleep, I had insisted that I would only sleep soundly if I knew he was home safely for the night. We talked as he got back on the subway and headed home, then I stayed on the phone with him until he was on the couch for the night. 

“I can’t wait until I can be a part of your life in person and not by facetime,” I sighed. 

He looked into my eyes, “My life isn’t very exciting,” he replied with a smile, probably hoping to make me feel like I wasn't missing much. He had no idea how much I loved him. 

“You are my entire world Arthur, I don’t care if we were to sleep all day or work all day, I just want to be with you,” I replied. 

“I just want to be with you too Alex… but I want to be able to take care of you…”

I frowned, “You already do,” I replied, “but we are a team, we take care of each other,” I reminded him. Then I thought about it for a little bit, “But I also can’t wait to take care of you… make you dinner, massage your sore muscles… make you take your vitamins,” I giggled, “And also make sure you get a good night’s sleep, if you know what I mean,” I bit my lip.

He chuckled and nodded. 

“I can’t wait to get my hand on you tomorrow morning,” I grinned. 

He chuckled again, “I can’t wait to be taken care of,” he teased and we both giggled. 

“Okay, get some sleep, you’re going to need it,” I warned him, “night my little Carnival,” I smiled. 

He chuckled, “Good night my princess.”


	39. Joker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex meets a new friend. 
> 
> *This chapter is rated M for mature. Alex and Arthur are really enjoying their time together lol*

I waited excitedly for him the next morning. I had been thinking about what Arthur’s surprise could be the entire morning while I had showered, lotioned my skin nice and smooth for his lips, and had spritzed perfume in all the areas I knew he would be kissing over and over again. 

I thanked the butler, Paul, when he brought 'Dr. Carnival' up to my room. I closed the door and waited a little before locking it, then, I jumped into his arms, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. He chuckled as he held me and kissed me back. Then, I jumped off and snatched his suitcase from his hands and took off running. He laughed, chasing me, “Alex! Wait!” he laughed. 

“It’s in here, isn’t it?!” I asked, trying to keep it from his hands.

“Yes and no,” he chuckled, catching me and taking it from me. He held it above his head and I couldn’t reach it.

“What does that mean?! I want it!!! Let me see!!” I begged him.

He laughed at me, “okay, okay, you’re so spoiled,” he teased and I frowned, crossing my arms. 

I waited but he went into the bathroom and locked the door. 

“Arthur?” I asked, waiting outside the bathroom door, “What are you doing in there?!”

“You will see,” I heard him moving around inside.

“Is it Carnival?” I asked, excited for a Carnival performance. No doubt he had been working on a new dance for the upcoming show and I was excited to see it. 

“Nope,” he called out. 

I frowned, maybe he was going to come out completely naked?!

“Okay,” he called out, finally, then slowly opened the bathroom door. 

I was a little taken aback, but not because I didn’t like what I saw but because I wasn’t expecting it. 

“Arthur?—” 

“Joker,” he grinned and that grin sent fire right through my veins. 

It was Carnival’s make up, but slightly distorted. He wore a suit, blood red, with what I recognized to be Carnival’s vest… underneath he wore a green, patterned button up and he looked… he looked so handsome but so intimidating. I wasn’t sure why, he made me feel hot and bothered but in a different way than Arthur did usually. I felt small, like this man would ruin my life and I would be thankful for it.

“You don’t like it?” he asked.

“I-I do…” I nodded, swallowing thickly, then laughed nervously, “W-who’s Joker?” I asked, recalling the name in the journal. I remembered that Joker was not associated with good things. 

“Joker is everything bad about me,” he replied. 

I nodded, “But there aren’t bad things about you…” I replied. 

He laughed, “It’s just for the show, Alex,” he took my face into his hands, understanding that I was thinking about the things that he had written in the journal that Joker had done/was going to do. 

I looked into my favorite green eyes, and slowly a smile spread across my lips. “You look hot,” I grinned. 

He grinned back, “I do?”

“Well, you always do, but with this look you are really, really hot. Carnival is a precious clown, Joker… I want Joker to ruin me” I lifted onto my tip toes to kiss him on his painted lips.

I felt his hands lower to my neck and instantly, INSTANTLY… my pussy got wet and my body lit up like the sky on the 4th of July. 

“I can do that,” He replied. I opened my eyes to see him looking into mine, and we both grinned at each other, knowing exactly what we both wanted. “Take your clothes off,” he ordered. 

I didn’t hesitate. Honestly, it was embarrassing how quickly I began to remove everything until I was wearing only the lingerie that I had put on for him. I pushed him to sit down on the same sofa that we had sat in that time I brought him to my bedroom for the first time. I kneeled down in between his legs and slowly slid my hands up his thighs, slowly up his pelvis until I found the fasteners on his red trousers. He leaned forward and we kissed as I unfastened them.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

I giggled, “Thank you, Mr. Joker,” I replied. 

I unzipped his pants as he palmed my breasts over the black lace, then my body tingled as he slowly dragged his fingers back until he found the clasp and then I felt it come loose. He dragged my straps down my shoulders and then slowly removed the flimsy material. I bit my lip as he leaned forward and took my right nipple into his lips. I moaned, grasping his thighs as I felt my core throb with desire. He moved to my other breast and I slid my hands up as he nibbled it, sliding my hands into his pants and taking his hard member into my hands. I felt him moan against my skin, he grabbed my face suddenly and kissed me hard. 

I stroked him as we kissed, and as soon as our lips parted, I swallowed his cock. 

I moaned as I sucked him off, taking all of it in. He rested back against the sofa and I looked up, locking eyes with him as I pleasured him with my lips. He put his hands behind his head and I felt my stomach fill with butterflies.

Fuck he looked hot like that.

His eyes were hooded, long eyelashes coated in white grease paint as he watched me choke on him over and over. He let me have my way with him. I could feel his thighs quiver when it hit the back of my throat and slid down. I lifted up and looked into his eyes as I spit his precum back on the tip and then licked it with my tongue before swallowing it. I teased him by swirling my tongue up and down the slit, making him take a fistful of my hair and slowly guiding my head all the way down. 

That’s what I wanted, I teased him until he didn’t stop, but he was so gentle, so I sucked harder and moaned louder, until he began thrusting into my mouth as he held my head in place, unable to stop himself. 

He knew he was getting rougher so he pulled me up and basically lifted me and placed me on my back, before he could position himself, I rolled onto my stomach and lifted onto my knees, putting my ass in the air for him. 

I felt the arousal dripping from me as he realized I wanted it doggy. And to my surprise, the vanity mirror was placed perfectly to allow me to see him behind me. I looked back at him and we grinned at each other. I lowered my eyes and watched as he pulled his pants down to his mid thighs, moved closer to me, and then felt that delicious tip glide up and down my folds until he found my entrance, which he could clearly see in this position. 

He pushed all the way in and I felt my entire body light up once again. I moaned deeply and repositioned my knees for him, pushing back into him. He leaned over me, wrapping one of his arms around my naked body, and placing kisses on the hollow of my cheek. 

“Arthur,” I moaned, rolling my hips with his cock deep inside me. He sat up, grabbed my hips, and slowly began pounding into me until his rhythm was perfect and even. 

I was in heaven, I arched my back and took the pounding like a champ. I watched him fuck me in the mirror, listened to his skin slap against mine, took in all his caresses and roughness, allowed him to have my body in any way he pleased. When he made me cum he stopped with his cock buried deep and let me collect myself before we kept going. I felt him shift, moving his left leg off the couch so he was mid stance and we kissed as he fucked me again. 

I came hard again, pushing against his hips but he stayed firmly against me, thank the heavens. 

He pulled out after a while and I quickly turned, taking his cock into my mouth and sucking him clean for a moment before we lowered to the floor and he laid down on his back. I climbed on top and sat on his cock, placing my hands on his chest as I began to ride him. I moved one of my hands and placed it around his throat, moving so I was squatting so that I had more power to my thrusts.

He groaned, resting his head back into the white fur rug. He looked so beautiful, all of his makeup smeared with kisses and sweat, his curls, which he had tamed back, now sticking to his painted face in a sweaty mess. 

As I rode him, I began to unbutton his yellow vest, then the green button up and when I finished, I held his throat while I caressed his abdomen and chest, feeling his wet skin under my touch. He lifted up onto his elbows and watched me fuck him. I leaned forward so we could kiss and also so he could suck on my tits. 

“I’m going to cum,” he moaned suddenly, looking up at me.

I rode him harder, moaning and biting my lip because I wasn’t sure if I would make it without coming before he did. 

And I didn’t make it. I came and my body tensed atop his. His hands flew up to hold me down as he thrusted up into me, making my vision go white right before I heard him grunt and felt his hot seed inside me. 

We came loudly, not holding anything back, and when we both finished, we collapsed into the floor completely spent. 

My lungs begged for air as I closed my eyes, my cheek pressed against his bare chest and his arms around me. 

Suddenly I realized something and quickly sat up, still panting and covered in sweat, “This outfit is for your show right?”

He nodded.

“Oh my god babe,” I looked back at his pants and they were covered in stains as they bunched at his ankles, “We’ve ruined them!”

He sat up, looking like he was still on cloud 9, and looked down at them, “I’ll just wash them,” he replied.

“Arthur, this material can’t just be washed, you have to dry clean!”

“I can do that…” he assured me.

“No I’ll do it, this material is very sensitive.” I didn’t trust him to actually take it to the dry cleaner. 

“Alex, its okay—”

“This is for your show, it has to be perfect,” I replied.

“Alex—”

“I said what I said,” I snapped.

“Okay,” he chuckled. 

“Now take them off,” I ordered, “And don’t move too much, I’m literally stuffed!”

He struggled to kick his shoes off, then we struggled to remove his pants and also the layers he wore on top. Without letting his cock slide out, he held me in his arms as he stood, my legs wrapped tightly around his hips, and he hobbled to the bathroom. I burst into laughter when I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror, and the sudden contraction of my muscles did not help our cause. 

Needless to say, we left a trail of it all the way to the bathroom because I could not stop laughing. 

I laughed as he put me down and got a towel for me, “What’s the point babe, it's everywhere now,” I laughed. 

He chuckled then shrugged his shoulders before coming back over to me. He threw the towel over his shoulder then wrapped his arms around me and picked me up, "It's those bottomless panties," he teased. 

“Well, let me take them off, maybe then you won't make such a big mess,” I grinned as he carried me back to the bed.


	40. You Can't Play Hide and Seek Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Alex begin to realize that the end is near.

“Thank you so much,” I smiled at the woman and took the suit. I rushed back to my car and carefully hung it from the hook next to the handle bar. 

I checked the time and rushed through traffic, freaking out a little because I was afraid I was going to delay his performance. I met Ashley at a mall parking lot and handed her the dry-cleaned suit. 

“Please hurry!” I begged.

“I will, but you need to calm down, okay? Breathe,” she ordered, “drive safely, I’ll meet you at Bruce’s penthouse.”

I practiced my breathing as I drove, trying to calm my nerves. I hated that I wasn’t going to be able to be at his show but was so nervous and excited for him. 

Bruce was already home and I hugged him tightly when I arrived.

“Breathe Alex,” he reminded me.

“Yes, okay,” I took a deep breath. 

Ashley arrived after a while and together we waited patiently for the live broadcast to begin. I screamed and stood, unable to stay seated throughout the entire show. 

It was amazing, what he had done with Joker was completely different than Carnival and the people ate it right up. Joker had this sex appeal that instantly drew even more attention. He was all over the news and social media outlets and every show following served to boost his popularity even more. People began to pick their favorite between Carnival and Joker and fan clubs fought over who they would get to see in the next show. 

I was so proud of him and worked without rest to plan his next shows and performances. But with his popularity, it became harder and harder to do it alone. We began to hire experts. Of course, making sure no one suspected that I was a part of the whole operation was truly the hardest part. 

We celebrated when he finally left Ha Ha’s for good. 

Now he was my psychiatrist part time and performer the rest of the time, which somehow still didn’t give him much rest. 

One day he came over as Dr. Carnival and looked so tired that I made him change into something comfortable so that he could sleep.

“Alex, I don’t want to sleep,” he insisted, “I only get to see you here—”

“Arthur Fleck, if you don’t change and get into bed I will literally flip out,” I said as I watched him shower my growing belly with kisses. 

By now, it had been a few months since we began the whole Dr. Carnival lie and he had been able to be present for all of my doctor appointments with Ashley. 

Together, we found out we were having a baby boy. I was a whole 6 months pregnant and everyone was wondering when Rich and I were going to get married. 

Rich. 

I had almost forgotten about Rich, except for the times I was forced to see him. 

Rich loved to insult my appearance. He constantly told me I looked huge and awful in everything I wore. I honestly didn’t care what he thought because Arthur made me feel like a goddess during intimacy. 

Thankfully, I had been able to keep Arthur and Rich apart, because I knew Arthur would lose it if he heard the way Rich talked to me. 

I had fallen even more in love with Arthur during my pregnancy thus far. He was so attentive, so caring, so gentle, so supportive in every way, and absolutely obsessed with me and our baby. We measured my belly and took pictures every week without fail. When he slept, he rested his face against it and wrapped his arm around it gently. He always asked for ‘baby cuddle time’ and he stole my heart over and over again with his excitement and affection. 

Of course I had plenty of pictures of him showering my belly with love, but the ones of both of my boys, one in the womb and one in my arms, sleeping soundly were my favorites. 

Our lie had allowed us not only to build his success behind closed doors, but also spend more time together than we could have ever hoped for. I was so thankful that he could be present for my appointments and to see his first child grow healthy and strong within me. 

His favorite thing to do was rub lotion on my belly, because baby boy would start playing with him every time. I giggled watching them interact. Arthur would press his lips to my belly and would quickly feel a little hand or foot stick out against it. 

Needless to say, we were thoroughly enjoying all of the time we were getting to spend together, however, hide and seek isn’t a game you can play forever.

***

“I get those goosebumps every time yeah, you come around yeah, you ease my mind yeah you make everything feel fine,” I sung to him as I sat on his lap in the back seat. 

We were dressed as George and Martha Washington and it was his birthday.

We were headed to some club downtown, all of us dressed for disguise but also for fun on Halloween night. 

“Please calm down back there,” Bruce, or Santa Claus, snapped back at us while I was literally down Arthur's throat. 

Ashley, or Medusa, laughed, “Leave them alone, they don’t get to see each other every day.”

Bruce shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Sucks that I won’t be able to drink,” I pouted, noticing that I had kissed his white makeup off, “we’re going to have to powder again,” I giggled with Arthur. He shrugged and rubbed my pregnant belly gently before kissing me again. 

“We don’t have to drink,” Arthur replied after we kissed.

“Oh no darling, it’s your birthday, if you want to get absolutely fucked up, you do that sweetheart,” I assured him, “So long as I still have permission to fuck you up when you’re drunk.”

“Alex,” Bruce shook his head at me and we all laughed. 

And that he did. We danced like crazy, not even coming close to winning the costume competition but having so much fun together that it didn’t even matter. He poured them back just like his brother and he got completely wasted. At one point they attempted to drink 10 shots in a row and Bruce blacked out at 6. I sat with him until he came too, threw up, then went right back at it.

I was the designated driver but Ashely didn’t drink near as much so she was still pretty much sober as she sat in the passenger’s seat. 

“These boys,” she laughed, looking back at George Washington and Santa Clause passed out in the back seat. It was past 2 am at this point. 

“Are you ever going to admit it?” I asked her.

“Admit what?” She asked back.

“B?”

“Alex,” she glanced back at the sleeping men in the back seat, “I’ve told you many times, I don’t like him like that.”

“Ash… I know that you do,” I replied.

“I don’t Alex, seriously…” she looked away, avoiding my eyes.

“Ash, I know B is a wild one but understand that his life is so structured, so controlled that that’s his way of coping with that,” I explained.

“So he copes by sleeping with a different woman every night? Or several for that matter?”

“He has had a lot of girlfriends, but he’s not like that, I have told you that many times Ash. Many of the girls are just for fun,” I glanced at her, “But not that kind of fun! I think B is just desperate to find someone that helps him feel… like he’s home you know? Like someone that steps in and takes care of him. Most of the girls are just with him for the glamour and the money, and that feeling is awful. I think that he doesn’t feel he is worthy or will ever be able to find someone that truly loves him and doesn't care about or needs his money.”

She thought about what I was saying. “You’re so lucky to have found someone like Arthur, who is completely in love with you.”

I looked back at him passed out drunk in the back seat and smiled, “I am a lucky girl, I mean usually, when he’s not a hot, patriotic mess,” we both laughed. 

“Alex… I have been wanting to ask you something for a long time…” Ash suddenly said. 

For some reason, I felt my heart stop, “About Richard? If it is, please, not tonight. I don’t want to think about him.”

“No, trust me, I’ve realized that I was completely wrong about him.” She replied, then was silent for a moment, “Its about those tests you asked me to run a long time ago…”

I knew it. My pulse quickened and I swallowed thickly. 

“What was all of that about?” she asked

“Ash…” I sighed, glancing back at Bruce. 

“Alex, if you confide that in me, I will come clean to Bruce,” she replied. 

I looked over at her, “So you do like B, don’t you?”

“You already know the answer to that,” she replied. 

I sighed, my eyes on the road as I thought about what I was about to do. No one knew about this expect Arthur, me, momma P, and Thomas Wayne…

“Alex?”

“Ash… I’m not Zachary Wayne’s biological daughter…” I whispered, deciding to begin with that. 

She stared at me. I felt the blood drain from my face. My hands went cold and clammy in the wheel. 

“What?” She asked. 

“Please don’t make me repeat that,” I replied. 

“No, no way!” She said as she processed what I said, “my father was your mom’s OB like… I’ve seen the medical records…”

“It’s all fake, all of it… they never wanted anyone to know. They falsified the medical records.”

“I just don’t understand!” She looked back at Arthur and Bruce then back at me, “But what does Arthur have to do with that?! Why did you take him to me for DNA testing that one time?!”

“Oh Ash…” I looked back at them too and watched nervously as Arthur stirred then went back to sleep, “I don’t think it’s my place to tell you that…”

“Alex, come on, I’m a part of this now. I put my license on the line for both of you, I lied to your parents… I need to understand why this is such a serious matter. Neither Bruce or I understand why your family is so insistent on you and Arthur not being together despite being absolutely crazy about each other…” 

I glanced at Bruce again then sighed deeply, “This stays here, okay?” I swallowed the lump in my throat, “Arthur and Bruce are biological brothers… B doesn’t know bu—”

“Wait! What?!” She gasped, covering her mouth in shock, "WHAT?!". 

“Shhhh!” I snapped, feeling my hands tremble on the wheel. 

“Are you serious Alex?! You have got to be out of your fucking mind!” She whispered. 

“No Ash, I’m not! I was at Wayne Enterprises one morning and Arthur was there arguing with uncle Tom’s receptionist about something, they had him thrown out, it was awful, they literally threw him out like trash. I was so angry—”

“That’s how you met Arthur?!” she asked, “You said—”

“Yes, that’s how I met him,” I cut her off, “I went to find him after because I felt so bad about the whole situation and… and we just got to talking, it became more than just an apology visit and I asked him what he was even trying to talk to my uncle about and… and he told me…”

“Told you what?”

“That he’s Thomas Wayne’s son, at least that’s what his mother told him. I sought you out for the tests and… the tests confirmed it…”

“So Arthur knows?” 

“Of course he knows, but B doesn’t and Arthur wants to keep it that way…”

“Does your uncle know that Arthur knows?!”

“Yes… and that’s the main reason we can’t be together because he’s afraid of all of that coming to light and he’s threatened us. The affair with Penny, the son he had with her… the falsification of all the documents… there’s so much Ash, so much…” I sighed.

“Bruce needs to know!”

“I agree but that’s not my decision to make,” I replied. 

She looked back at them, “They’re brothers?” She whispered, more of a shocked statement than a question, “Brothers…” she repeated, “wait what do you mean threat?!”

“Ash… I cannot go through more of this tonight, please,” I breathed. 

I had planned to let Arthur hit in every way he desired once back at Bruce’s penthouse but I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had told Ash. 

Had I made a mistake?!

She was equally as shocked, understandably. I could see it in her face as we helped the brother’s up. 

He was kissing my neck, his hands were under my large 1800’s gown, caressing my thigh but I was unable to get in the mood with so much on my mind. 

“Let’s go up sweetheart,” I whispered to him. 

The echo of the music in the living room as we went up made me feel some kind of way. 

But it wasn’t a good feeling. 

I closed the door and he took me into his arms, kissing me deeply. Clearly, he WAS in the mood.

“Arthur, I have to tell you something… are you sober enough?”

He nodded, “What is it?” he asked.

“I told Ash everything….” I confessed, unable to keep that from him. 

“About what?” he asked, drunkenly confused. 

“About you and me and… B…” 

He looked between my eyes, pulling his George W wig off, “What do you mean?”

“About me… and you… and B…” I swallowed thickly. 

“Alex… you didn’t…” he laughed, but stopped when he realized I wasn’t playing around, as if I would about something like this, “You didn’t!”

“Arthur… I’m sorry! She needs to know what she’s risking for us! She lied to my patents about your credentials and she’s doing a lot for us, she needs to know!”

He sighed, clearly upset but he nodded, “you’re right…”

“I’m sorry…”

He shook his head, “It’s okay Alex… I don’t know how much longer we are going to be able to keep hiding like this…”

“What do you mean?!” I panicked, quickly hugging him tightly. I looked up at him, “Babe, what do you mean by that?!”

“We can’t live like this forever…” he replied. 

I looked into his eyes and he down into mine. 

I instantly felt fear in my heart.


End file.
